


Years In The Making

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Sam, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Kink, Mating, Multi, Multichapter, NSFW, Other, Pregnancy, Reader Insert, Revenge, Series, Sex, Smut, Violence, a/o, alpha/beta/omega, danger to reader, explicit - Freeform, knotting sex, omega!reader, trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5894311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Reader is an Omega, providing a “safe-house” for hunters in need. She’s not seen the Winchesters for over ten years, and when they turn up on her doorstep, trouble follows. Switches between reader POV and Dean's POV, later on with Sam's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. January

_Reader’s POV_

It was snowing heavily on the first morning you met the Winchesters. The phone call out of the blue on a freezing January morning had left you with two house guests for at least a week and you were shocked at the state of them when they turned up in a somewhat worse for wear Impala.

Sam was black and blue, his bottom lip swollen and split, a nice jagged wound across his eyebrow. Dean wasn’t any better, with six broken fingers and a few broken ribs to go with the purple eye he was sporting. Both of them were covered in blood and gore, and you’d thanked whatever power was listening that you had two bathrooms.

Directing one brother to each, you left clean towels for them, and pulled their things in from the car, sorting through to find fresh clothing, and to dump their dirty stuff in the laundry. The weapons were your second point of call when you returned to the vehicle, making a mental note to clean her as soon as you got the chance. Dean would have to fix the dents and bumps, but you could at least give the poor thing a vacuum.

Once upon a time, you’d been cleaning up after an entirely different person, and it was half the reason you were who you were now. Your father had been a hunter, and he’d hunted with John Winchester several times. You’d never had the stomach for killing things, but you’d found your niche in the “family business” - care-taking. You were a safe-house, and you could always be counted on for a warm place to sleep and help with research. Living in the middle of nowhere had its perks, and you’d been here your whole life, keeping house and helping hunters that passed through.

This was the first time you’d seen the Winchesters in nearly ten years. And since they’d seen you, things had changed.

Coming from a long line of Alphas, it had surprised your father when you, the headstrong and stubborn little girl of the family, who’d had to grow up too quickly after the death of her mother and brother, presented as an Omega a couple days shy of your eighteenth birthday. After that, your dad had been careful to help you mask your status, although you were never ashamed of it. He claimed it was to keep you safe, but you’d always suspected that he hated you weren’t an Alpha.

When he’d died, you’d been a few months past twenty two, and you were alone. Not completely, because Ms. Wethers down the road kept a close eye on you, and she was a lovely old lady who had two Omega sons and knew exactly how to help. She showed you how to suppress the heats, ignore the biological needs your body demanded, and it made for a much easier life.

So when January brought two injured Alpha hunters to your door, you panicked a little. Distracting yourself with cleaning was helpful, in the short term. Sam had asked for help first, when you’d knocked on the door to check on him. He was having trouble stitching up the cut across his eyebrow, and you’d bolted straight in, seeing that he was actually making a complete hash of it.

His lopsided grin gave you cause to chuckle. ‘I thought you were good at this stuff?’

He shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub so he was more your height. 'I am normally. On other people. Or if it’s my stomach or arm, leg’s the easiest. I think it’s harder when you’re technically having to do it backwards in a mirror.’ You smiled, pulling out the two wonky stitches he’d already put in, before rethreading the needle and starting again. He hissed loudly as you made the first stitch.

'Oh shut up, you big baby. You’ve had worse than this.’ Your scolding made him laugh quietly, and he sat patiently as you finished the short job. 'So, what got hold of you and your brother?’

'Werewolf.’ He sighed. 'Well, technically three of 'em. Little pack of psychos running around enjoying the taste of human flesh. I’m surprised we got 'em.’

'You and your brother will find the hardest hunts.’ You finished sewing up his eyebrow, leaving a neat knot at the end and cutting the thread with your nail scissors. 'All done. Good thing there isn’t much you can’t kill huh?’

Sam nodded, picking up a cotton wool pad and standing to clean around the area. 'Hey, Y/N?’ He asked, and you looked up from the kit you were packing away. 'Are you sure we’re okay to stay here? I’d get on the move quickly, but Dean’s in bad shape and he needs to stop and let this one mend.’

You smiled warmly. 'Of course it’s okay, Sam. I’m not due a heat for another two weeks. Plenty of time for your brother to heal.’ He nodded, smiling in gratitude. Both Winchesters knew you were an Omega, although they hadn’t seen you since you presented. Mostly you helped them via email, although your relationship with Sam was closer than with Dean, on an intellectual front.

Leaving the younger brother be, you headed downstairs to the other bathroom, knocking on the door gently. Dean yelped from the other side, and then followed with permission to enter. As you pushed the door open, he was stood, jeans slung low on his hips, the fly open, just teasing the top of his groin, the v-shaped lines slanting down into his pelvis. You’d have been caught staring if your eyes hadn’t drifted upwards and see the horrific looking splotches of purple, blue and black staining the right side of his abdomen. He looked up, pain written across his handsome face as you moved forward, quickly bending down to retrieve the medical kit you kept under the sink, trying to ignore the fact that he smelt like everything delicious in the world.

’T-think these might need some t-time.’ His teeth chattered, although he wore a pained grin.

'Did you manage to shower okay?’ You asked, standing straight with the kit in hand, before opening it and rummaging through.

'Had a bit of trouble washing my hair. Couldn’t raise my arm. Think I got all the blood out though.’ You nodded, locating the thick bandages in the kit, turning to inspect his wounds. There were cuts and scrapes all over his arms, which you could only assume were caused by claw marks, and the bruising on his right went all the way round his back. Drawing closer, you inhaled through your mouth, desperate to ignore the smell of Alpha coming off of him. His scent was stronger than his brother’s.

'I’m gonna check, okay? It’s gonna hurt.’

'I thought as much.’ He gritted his teeth, closing his bright green eyes, although the bruised one didn’t quite shut all the way. He winced at the first touch of your hands on his torso, and outright cried out when you located the first broken rib. On the second, he cried out again, but when you found the third, he’d obviously regained his composure and the anticipated cry came out a strangled groan.

'You’ve got three broken ribs.’ You walked around the back of him, seeing a large gash on his shoulder blade. 'This needs stitches and good clean out.’ You frowned, seeing another gash across the back of his head. 'Did you fall during the fight?’

'Yeah. I’ve cut my head open, right?’ He turned a little, and you raised a hand to hold him still.

'More stitches.’ You sighed. 'I’ll get your ribs bandaged up and you can come into the kitchen for me to clean the rest of those cuts. How the hell did you get so banged up? Sam wasn’t this bad!’

Dean shrugged, and then groaned at the pain the automatic gesture caused. 'Maybe because I tend to be a bit more reckless than my baby bro.’ He raised his unbruised eyebrow to your expression. 'Hey, but you’re getting to see me with my top off. Isn’t that worth a few bruises?’

'This isn’t a few bruises, Dean.’ You started to wind the bandage around his midsection, ignoring his pained grunts as you did so. It didn’t take long to wrap his ribs, and you knew he’d be here for at least a week before he could move properly.

When you were done, he smiled, taking your hand. 'Your dad was right.’

'Huh?’ You asked, frowning.

'Your dad always said you were best damn hunter’s nurse in the world. He was right.’ His smile, despite the bruising on his face, was charming as ever and you smiled back, before tapping him on the butt.

'Kitchen, now.’

*****

_Dean’s POV_

Broken ribs hurt like a bitch. Granted, Y/N’s wrap job with the bandages was ace, but it still hurt. There wasn’t any amount of aspirin that could ease the agony that coursed my nerves when I so much as cleared my throat.

Beer helped. Vodka would have been better, but Y/N didn’t keep it in the house. And she’d hidden the whiskey from me, insisting that getting drunk was not the answer.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.

The Alpha in me loves her. I think I did from the second I laid eyes on her when we were practically kids. I’d already presented then, Alpha, just like my dad thought I would. It seems like she gets hotter every time I look at her. Sam assured me there’s no danger of me going into rut or anything – she was in heat and finished way before we got here. He isn’t lying either; I can still smell it in the atmosphere of the house. He doesn’t seem nearly as affected by her proximity as I am.

Of course, Y/N is a great cook as well as a top class medic. I’m starting to think she’s trying to fatten us up. There’s these burgers she makes, with bacon, cheese and mushrooms….jeez, even Mr-Health-Freak-Sam can’t resist them. And she makes the best pie. The woman is a miracle in the kitchen.

She’s perfect.

Which is why I had to get healed and out of there as quickly as possible. Me being in love with anyone is a bad idea – only had to look at my past to know that. Dean Winchester is a curse in himself. Used to think it was the family line, but no, it’s just me. Sometimes I wonder why Sam sticks around.

Another four days, and I can get out of here, he says. She’s not letting me leave easily either, despite my protests. I don’t think she sees it. That being around her is a temptation I’m barely resisting.

'Dean?’

Sam’s voice disturbs my train of thought, and he grins as he walks into the room.

'You’re daydreaming about Y/N again, aren’t you?’ Trust him to pick up on exactly what I’m feeling.

'Shut up, Sam. What do you want?’

'Ribs still bad?’

'Yeah.’ I grunt at him, making him aware that I’m in a mood. He scowls.

'Impala needs fixing. Thought we could start on it.’

I blink. Sam and I haven’t worked on the car together in ages. And now he’s suggesting it? Strange. 'Yeah, er, sure. Just let me grab some more painkillers and I’ll be with you.’ He nods and leave the study, the front door opening and shutting. I stand up, heading for the kitchen to grab some painkillers. And of course, Y/N is in there, do the dishes.

'Hey, Dean.’ She smiles and I have to swallow down the urge to take her right there. I’m not an animal, but she’s just so fucking gorgeous. She’s like every sin on a platter in front of me, _and_ I bet she fucking knows it. 'You going out to help Sam?’

'Yeah.’ Why is my throat so dry?

'Fresh air will do you good. Don’t go hurting yourself though.’ She nods to the packet of painkillers on the side. 'I’m guessing you want those?’ I nod, and swipe them, turning away quickly. Okay, so maybe she doesn’t know the effect she has on me, but I’m not gonna stick around and find out.

Swallowing down the pills dry is almost as hard as swallowing down the fact that I’m falling hard and fast for someone I hadn’t seen in ten years. I’m not sure whether that hurts more than the ribs or not.

*****

_Reader’s POV_

The Impala was pretty much brand new again, thanks to your dad’s habit of hoarding tools and car parts in the shed. Dean had managed to find a couple of old machetes that he’d cleaned until they were new again. You had no problem letting him have them, knowing they’d go to good use stopping the evil out there.

You’d insisted that they stay until Dean was able to move without grimacing. He was trying to hide it – you weren’t stupid – but you knew Sam wouldn’t want to leave until the snow had passed. A storm had started the previous evening, and whilst Dean was getting antsy to hunt again, the Impala wouldn’t stand up to snow that deep.

Leaning out on the porch, a cup of hot cocoa in hand, you watched the wind play with the white flakes on the lawn. There was a good foot of the white stuff, and you’d always loved it, ever since you were a kid. When it snowed, everything was quieter, cleaner…just the way you liked things.

'Hey.’ Dean’s voice echoed over the wooden porch, and you turned your head to smile at him. He was walking better now, and he stopped at the opposite side of the front door, leaning against the wooden barrier like you did.

'Everything okay?’ You asked, your fingers curling around your mug.

He nodded. 'Sam’s just doing an final weapons check. Snow should be clear enough in the morning for Baby to make it over.’ He grinned. 'He found a ghost a state over. Salt and burn. Start slow.’

'I don’t think you even know the meaning of that phrase, Dean Winchester.’ You smiled, your eyes returning to the white blanket of the yard in front of your house. He chuckled at your innuendo and then sighed heavily.

'You ever get lonely out here on your own?’

You shrugged. 'Sometimes. But then…I prefer that to the alternative.’

'Alternative?’ He turned his body to face you, the whiteness of the snow making him seem paler than usual. 'What alternative?’

'Living in town. Around people. Alphas, Betas, other Omegas. I’m happy on my own.’ You were lying through your teeth but he didn’t know that. You’d never found the desire to be around other people, but drawing closer and closer to thirty was driving your body clock insane. But Dean didn’t need to know that. 'I like being the safe-house for everyone. Helping however I can. Can’t exactly do that if I follow the normal code.’

'What’s normal about anything?’ Dean huffed, looking away from you, picking at the wooden trellis he leant on.

You let your shoulders drop a little, looking down into the bubbles on the top of your cocoa. 'A mate. Pups….the things hunters don’t get.’

He didn’t reply to that, and after a few moments you heard his footsteps retreat back into the house.

The next day, him and Sam left, and you watched the Impala leave tracks in the snow down your driveway.

Maybe you’d see them again. But in the long run, it was probably better if you didn’t.


	2. February

**February**

_Dean’s POV_

I didn’t think we’d be on this road again so soon. Of course, it was white the last time I had my foot on the gas, and now it’s pouring with rain. The sky is practically black, despite the early afternoon, and I can barely see through the windscreen wipers trying to push the flow of water away.

The phone call hadn’t been unexpected. Sam and I had parted ways a week ago, needing to cover more ground searching for the monster cutting a blood swathe through middle America. I’d found nothing on my end, but Sam had found something, and he needed help researching it. And wouldn’t you know, the book he needed was in the possession of someone whose doorstep I’d hoped to never darken again, and the same person I wanted to see every day.

Y/N was expecting us, and after picking Sam up from where he’d ditched the truck he’d been using, we’d started the four hour drive to her house. Driving up this road only conjured back the feelings I’d been pushing down for so long.

One part of me wanted a brief visit.

The other part wanted to stay forever.

‘So, this book, might take a few days to clear up the translation.’ Sam said, typing away on his laptop. 'Y/N says she’s got some kind of translation programme that might help, but she’s unsure. The text has been sitting in her dad’s study for about twenty years. We’re lucky she had it.’

I pulled a smile from out of nowhere, flashing it at Sam. He had to know I was apprehensive about seeing her again, but I couldn’t let him see it on the outside. After thirty odd years, putting on that brave face for my kid brother was too hard a habit to break.

'You and Y/N will have it cracked in no time.’

'It’s not like you’re gonna be no help, Dean.’

'I’m not the book type, Sammy.’ I kept my tone playful. I hated research. It was necessary, and when I put my mind to it, I could do it. Hell, I could find vague references in any lore. But I’d rather find the bottle of whiskey that Y/N hid last month.

'We’re gonna need everyone to pitch in on this, Dean. Garth’s already there.’

My hands tightened on the steering wheel, and I had to reprimand myself. Garth was a Beta and one of the sweetest, goofiest guys in the world. No way there was any competition there.

_Shouldn’t be any competition anyway, Dean. She’s never going to be yours._

I hate that voice in the back of my head some days. Even if it was right.

Sam’s phone rang, and I kept my eyes on the road as he answered, cursing under my breath as the rain got heavier.

'Hey Y/N. Yeah. Not a problem. Dean can help with that.’ Sam laughed. 'No, I don’t think so. We’ll be there soon. Hang tight.’

He hung up and I looked over at him, curious as to what I could help with. My brother seemed to know the question before I spoke and smiled at me.

'There’s a leak in the roof. Garth tried to get up the ladder, but he’s not a fan of heights.’

I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up from my chest. 'Reduced to handy man.’ My eyes went back to the road. 'At least it gets me away from the books.’

*****

_Reader’s POV_

'Garth, you hungry?’ You yelled, your back to the kitchen door as you cut up the fresh bread you’d picked up in town this morning. The trip hadn’t been fun, with three out of the four roads flooded, but the old pick up you drove had just about made the journey. Then you’d gotten home and the roof had been leaking into the den, long enough for a small paddling pool to form. Garth had tried to fix it, but he’d gotten up two steps of the ladder and skidaddled back down, apologising profusely.

Thank god for the Winchesters.

'I could use something to eat, yeah, thanks Y/N!’ Garth was such a sweetheart. He’d been a long time friend of yours, and you kept in touch as much as possible. It had even come to the point that he had his own set of bedclothes for when he stayed, and he was the only one who used the box room. If he had anything close to a home, it was here.

'Cheese do ya?’

'Sounds delightful!’ He yelled back, cheerily and you smiled, cutting up the filling for the sandwiches and quickly finishing them off. As you plated up and carried the food through to the study, the doorbell rang and you smiled.

'Looks like the boys are here.’

'Want me to get that?’ Garth asked, his still-wet hair clinging to his forehead. It had been raining for three days now, and even venturing out onto the porch left you soaked.

'No, it’s okay.’ You smiled, knowing he sensed your concern about seeing Dean again. He was very perceptive for a hunter, and very sensitive to other people’s emotions. Which was probably why he hung around so much – he knew you were lonely,  no matter how much you protested. Unlike anyone else, he refrained from bringing up the “mate” subject.

Garth grinned and took his food as you bolted to the front door, opening it to two very soaked Winchesters, both of them smiling at you. Sam’s long hair was stuck to his face and Dean had a large drop of water hanging off of the end of his nose.

'Wow. Still coming down, huh?’ You deadpanned, standing back. Both of them squished their way into the house, toeing their boots off.

'Just a bit.’ Dean grumped, despite the grin on his face. 'But it’s good to see you.’ His tone was warming and you ignored the shiver that ran up your spine. Despite the rain, it was like a blast of hormones in your face, and you tensed as Sam hugged you.

'It’s really good to see you.’ He said, pulling back quickly, before glancing at Dean, almost apologetically. You tried to ignore the gesture, pointing to the study.

'I just made lunch. Garth is in there.’ They both nodded and heading into the room where Garth was stuffing his sandwich into his mouth, and you let a sigh of relief escape you as you ran to the kitchen. Focusing on making food was what you needed, anything to get your mind off of the almost possessive anger coming off Dean when his brother hugged you. It was easy to see it was because Sam was an Alpha too, but even though biology dictated you _should_ be attracted, you weren’t. Whenever Dean was around, it was like his presence swallowed in every other feeling in the room, leaving you focused on him like a fucking laser beam.

This was gonna be a long ass week.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

This is actually killing me.

Sammy says we’re not finished yet, and we have to stay here to get the text translated before we can do anything else. I’ve been desperately searching for a hunt, anything local, but apparently we’re stuck in the middle of dullsville. Nothing. Even Garth can’t help.

A week after turning up in the rain, I took my leave. Headed out to find a bar in town. Y/N didn’t say anything, but I know she’s blaming herself for my mood. I wish I didn’t have to be this way, but when I’m frustrated, I tend to take it out on everyone else. With nothing to kill, I’m useless. I wasn’t any help with the research either.

The dive I came across was the other side of town. Dark, dingy with just the right amount of cigarette stench and stale beer in the air. Rock tunes playing on the jukebox and some rough looking guys playing pool that I could try and hustle later. But for now, I just wanted to drown myself in alcohol and take the edge off.

And it wasn’t long before I had company.

Her name was Sandra, and she was pretty as they came. Long blonde hair, great rack, wearing that little black dress that apparently every woman owned. She was a…well, I didn’t exactly listen to the stimulating conversation. All that was running through my head was a million different ways to rid myself of the boner I’d had for about a month. What better way than with a nice little Beta number like Sandra?

Then she kissed me, and I nearly vomited with disgust at myself.

She left after that, with some guy that had clearly skipped leg day, and I found myself another whiskey. When my eyes were sore, and I knew it was a danger to drive the Impala home, I left, wondering if Sam would notice I’d gone for a while. A motel was up ahead and I pulled in, slapping a fake credit card on the desk and booking myself in for the night.

The bed was cold, and the room smelt like layers of uncaring sex, and I couldn’t sleep. Relieving the ache in my cock didn’t help the issue. My fingers were like ice, and all I could think about was Y/N, wondering what she’d feel like wrapped around me, calling for me, begging me to knot her. Fuck, just knowing that she’d be the perfect Omega….the perfect lover…the perfect mate…,everything in me was screaming to go home to her.

For years, Baby had been my home. Now it seemed like my soul had found somewhere else to reside.

Problem was, staying there would end up with her dead.

We needed to get that book translated and get the fuck out of dodge.

*****

_Reader’s POV_

You finished translating last night, relieved it was over as much as Garth and Sam were. Dean didn’t come home, and Sam paced the study, constantly looking out the window. You offered your truck to go find him, but the younger Winchester had shook his head.

'He’s probably drunk in a bar with some blonde, making mistakes he’ll regret.’ He muttered, and you felt a lance of pain in your chest at his words. Dean was the type to go off and find comfort elsewhere. He’d never seek it with you, and despite the pain at the thought of him with another woman…you knew that he’d never be _yours._ It was too dangerous for both of you.

'I’m gonna make some coffee. You guys want some?’ Garth asked, almost as if he knew what you were thinking.

'Actually, I’m gonna…go lay down. I’ve got a headache. Probably from all the reading.’ You smiled, keeping your tone neutral. 'Dean’ll be back soon, Sam. Then you guys can get out of here and go get your monster.’

Sam looked stricken as if he’d just realised what he’d said. 'I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean…I know that…’ He sighed, dropping his chin. 'I didn’t mean to upset you.’

'You didn’t.’ You smiled, reaching out to squeeze his arm. 'I know what’s on the cards here, Sam. And I’ve accepted it.’ _Liar_. 'Just get your monster ganked, and call me to let me know you’re both alive, yeah?’ He nodded, and you turned away, your eyes meeting Garth’s as you walked from the room.

Laying in your bed, you resisted the urge to cry, curling up in the covers as you listened to the movements downstairs. Dean had returned, about an hour after you’d retreated, and Sam had chewed him out. Obviously he’d gone and spent the night elsewhere, and the thought of what he’d probably gotten up to was excruciating.

Eventually, they’d stopped shouting at each other, and you’d heard your front door slam, shortly followed by the roar of the Impala. As the noise of the engine faded into the distance, you’d pulled the covers over your head and allowed yourself to cry.

Garth knocked at the door gently, peering in. You didn’t speak, almost unable to through your tears, and he quickly came to your side, pulling you into his skinny arms and hugging you tightly. 'Sweetheart, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this.’

Your body shook, your emotions getting the better of you. It probably didn’t help that you were close to that time of the month, so everything always seemed worse.

But right now, Dean spending the night with some random woman seemed like the end of the world.


	3. March

**March**

_Reader’s POV_

The heavy rain in February was always somewhat cathartic, clearing away the freezing winter and leaving behind a fresh spring in March, with morning frosts slowly giving way to dew covered lawns and trees. You liked walking in the morning, usually traversing the couple of miles into town for fresh milk and fruit. Ms Wethers would be outside her little cottage, watering the new plants she’d put in for the year, and occasionally she’d stop you to chat. Her eldest son had just become a father for the first time and she was always over excited to show you the latest picture on the smart phone she could barely use.

You tried to ignore how much the thought of never having that hurt.

No one in town really paid much attention to you. You were just the odd Omega that lived on the outskirts of town, not doing anyone harm. Most of them gave you a nod or a smile when you walked past, and you returned the gesture.

It was nearing the end of March, approaching the Easter holidays when you popped into the family run bakers to pick up some fresh bread. Garth was back at yours, recovering from a vampire almost taking his leg off, and you’d been running low on supplies. As the bell above the door tinkled merrily to announce your entry to the shop, Mrs Dobson, the baker’s wife, smiled widely at you.

‘Y/N!’

You blinked, unaware she even knew your name. 'Mrs Dobson.’ You punctuated the greeting with a quick nod of your head.

'How are you?’ She asked, sweetly.

'I’m fine.’ You replied, puzzled by her friendliness. 'Can I get an uncut loaf and some of those iced cakes?’

'Another house guest?’ She enquired, not looking at you as she prepared your order. You looked around, still confused. The woman had barely said two words to you, and now she was asking all about your home life?

'Yeah. A friend. He’s not well and needs a bit of nursing.’

Mrs Dobson looked up, grinning widely. 'Ah, just like your father. He was always having problems with his friends and hunting accidents. If you ask me, these men and their guns…all very primal.’ You nodded, hoping she’d hurry up. 'Ms Wethers worries about you, up there all on your own. And Mr Mackley said he saw a couple of alpha boys sniffed around last month.’

You swallowed. You could understand Ms Wethers making a passing comment – she’d said she was worried about you being on your own before. But Mr Mackley was a curtain twitching old man, who had always poked his nose where it wasn’t wanted.

'Just friends, Mrs Dobson.’ She nodded, placing the bags with your order on the side.

'That’ll be five dollars, Y/N.’ You handed her the money and picked up the bag. 'He just thought it was odd, you know. With your pa gone, you might have wanted a nice alpha male around to help out.’

'I manage on my own.’ You replied, keeping your tone polite despite the indignation you felt. You weren’t some helpless pup – you were a grown woman and your dad had been gone a _long_ time. 'It is okay for Omegas to have friends that are Alphas, despite what Mr Mackley says.’

Mrs Dobson shook her head, realising she’d offended you. 'Oh I know, sweetheart, I know.’ She smiled. 'Still, you are nearing thirty. Don’t want to leave it too long for pups.’

Your mouth set into a thin line, and you suddenly decided you’d be using the supermarket bakery from now on. Dropping the bag to your side, you turned on your heel, not wanting to discuss things with the woman any further. 'Thank you for the baked goods, Mrs Dobson.’ You didn’t wait for her reply as you left the shop, stomping along the pavement, anger simmering low in your veins.

Some people seriously had a nerve. Just because you _happened_ to have a genetic structure that put you on the lowest rung of the social hierarchy, but it was about time that society woke up and realised they weren’t cavemen anymore.

Garth picked up on your mood as soon as you walked into the house, looking up from where he was laying on the sofa, his leg propped up and wrapped in bandages, a frown on his face. 'You okay?’

'Mrs Dobson. Nosey old bitch in the bakery.’ You scowled, dropped the bag on the hallway table. A sigh escaped you. 'I don’t like thinking badly of people, but why do I get all the shit comments about my being single, _just_ because I happen to be Omega? I don’t _need_ a fucking Alpha to run my life.’

Garth smiled. 'We know you don’t. Isn’t that what matters?’

'Just a bit sick of it.’ You replied, sighing again and flopping onto the second sofa opposite his makeshift bed. 'Being judged is….’

'Shit.’ He finished, his smile not wavering. 'But at least you have options. I’m a skinny Beta with no chance.’

'I thought you had the corner market on the ladies, Garth?’ You teased, returning his affectionate smile. 'You were seeing that one girl…er…what’s her name? Miranda? Melinda?’

'Melissa.’ He sighed. 'She was…way too good for me. Besides, she was Alpha. And Alpha girls are…a little hot to handle.’ He winked. 'Couldn’t keep up.’

You scrunched up your nose. 'Eww Garth, too much information. What about a nice Omega girl? We aren’t as bad as everyone says.’

He raised an eyebrow. 'Like you?’ He shook his head. 'All it takes is for a true mate, the _real_ Alpha to turn up and bam! Garth on the kerb. I mean, could you seriously tell me that you wouldn’t ditch anyone if Dean -’

You held up a hand. 'Gonna stop you there. For one, I’m not a nice Omega girl. I’m a social recluse with an Internet problem and a creepy second life. Not cut out for pups or any of that stuff. And secondly…Dean would never claim me.’

'He’s your real mate, you know’ Garth said, reaching over for his phone. 'The signs are there.’

'No. He’s not. I’m…not.’ You shook your head. 'Even if it were true, Dean and me…’

'Do I need to retrieve Mr Fizzles?’ He interrupted and you glared at him, and he gave you that stupid puppy dog look he’d mastered over years of dealing with grumpy hunters. 'Y/N, I know you and Dean is a touchy subject, hell I’m not stupid, but I’m not blind either. Maybe it’s gonna take some time, but you’ll both realise. You’re not gonna be happy as long as you evade the truth.’

'He’s a hunter. I’m just…me. Nothing exciting. Dean doesn’t want to settle down; he couldn’t.’

'Why not?’ Garth frowned. 'Who says hunters can’t have lives?’

'Because that’s what gets them killed.’ You replied simply, shrugging.

'So others say. If it’s meant to be, then there’s a way.’

'How are you so optimistic about life?’ The frown on your face deepened. 'You aren’t exactly starting the new Brady Bunch.’

Garth’s smile faded a little before he looked you square in the eyes. 'Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try if I met the right girl. If you don’t ever try for the happiness, how can you say absolutely that it’s not possible?’ You sat back, unsure of how to answer. Garth was right of course, and it irritated you.

But still. It didn’t matter even if he was right. Because even if you changed your mind, if you wanted those things, if Dean _was_ your real mate…he was halfway across America, and he wouldn’t be thinking of you at all. He wouldn’t want those things, so what did it matter if you did?

*****

_Dean’s POV_

It was raining outside. I wasn’t sure if it would be raining where she was, but of course, I thought that whether it was raining, sunny, or a friggin’ hurricane. Wherever I was, my thoughts inevitable drifted back to her, to Y/N, wondering if she was helping another hunter, if she was alone again, or if she’d…

God, even thinking about her meeting someone was like a knife to the heart that wouldn’t kill me but shredded me to pieces. A thousand times I’d typed her name into my cell, intending on texting her, calling her…and every time I put the phone away, too afraid of being shot down to even try.

Sam had picked up on it, and he’d only brought it up a handful of times. I told him to cram it every single time, when in reality I wanted nothing more than to pour my heart out. But I couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t say the words.

I didn’t want to hunt.

I didn’t want to fight monsters.

I wanted to be at her side, with her every damn second of the day. I wanted to make love to her and claim her as my own, like my goddamn instincts told me to. Wanted to see her belly full of my pups, the radiant glow of motherhood around her.

Whatever Sam would say in response, I’d feel like nothing but a sap. This was just my stupid biology talking, wanting to take the Impala halfway across the world to her side. I could ignore this. No matter how painful it got.

March was closing off when Sam finally broached the subject with me again. We were driving down a long stretch of wet highway, heading to another boring salt and burn. The monster we’d been hunting the month before, the ghoul pack as it turned out to be, had been slaughtered by another group of hunters, although Y/N’s work had come in handy.

'How you feeling?’ I’d tried to ignore the question, but Sam had only continued to talk. 'You seem a little tense. Especially since we left…’ He trailed off. 'And that little fight you had with Joe? He was only making a comment about how helpful Y/N had been.’

'Wasn’t that.’ I grumbled. Joe Thompson – a hunter from California, and green as hell – was a cocky little Alpha mutt. I’d clashed with him instantly, and when he’d made a comment about Y/N helping him and his father out on a hunt, and how she was fantastic with her hands…I’d seen red. In my defence, I only punched the little shit because I’d heard his comment about how he’d like to make her beg for his knot.

'No, I know. He was being a dick.’ Sam chuckled. 'I’d have done the same thing if someone talked about my Omega like that.’

Sometimes I forgot that Sam had lost his Omega. Jess had been the world to him, so long ago now, but he’d never fully gotten over it. What everyone else saw was miles from the nights he spent screaming out her name in his sleep, the constant nightmares that still plagued him now. Ever since then, he’d not been the same, his instincts muted. He could chat any woman up, but he’d never take a mate again. It made me feel even worse.

'She’s not my Omega.’ I replied, my hands flexing on the wheel of the Impala. 'She never will be.’

Sam frowned. 'Why?’

I glanced over at him, before returning my eyes to the road. 'What do you mean, “why”?’

'Why wouldn’t she ever be your Omega?’

I sighed, trying to ignore how much that thought pained me. 'Because I’m a hunter, Sam. Everyone I love usually dies. The curse was never on our family – it was just on me.’ He was silent for a moment when I said that, and I wondered if he would speak again. The car ate up the road underneath us and I tried not to let my thoughts drift back to Y/N. I failed, naturally.

'You’re an idiot.’ Sam finally spoke, and I blinked, glared at him sideways. 'Seriously, Dean…the tension between you two is so…it’s starting to drive _me_ nuts, so god knows how it’s affecting you. Or her.’ He shook his head, leaning against the window with his shoulder. 'Both of you. You’re as stubborn as each other.’

I didn’t reply. Truth is, I knew he was right. But Y/N wouldn’t wanna be tied to someone like me. I’m a danger, I live a terrifying life and not one I wanna drag her into. Or pups.

It’d just be easier if I stopped thinking about her.

But I wouldn’t.


	4. April

**April**

_Dean’s POV_

I honestly hadn’t intended to return. Even after all Sam’s talk, and his constant prodding, I was going to keep my distance.

Then Garth called, and I damn near destroyed Baby’s engine gunning it down the highway, making a six hour trip in four just to get to her quicker. Sam sat beside me the whole time, his jaw tight, his hands curled into fists on his knees, his eyes focused on the road much like mine.

Demons had tracked down Y/N through a hunter that she’d helped. They’d put out a hit on her…not to kill, but to make all of us aware that she was a prime target. She’s managed to stay hidden all these years, and then they’d found her.

And I couldn’t help but think it was my fault.

Garth had been staying with her, a fracture in his lower leg rendering him unable to hunt for a while. I managed to push aside the gnawing jealousy in the pit of my stomach to be thankful he was there, otherwise they might have gone all the way and murdered her. As it was, he was injured and she was worse.

He said that she’d put up a hell of a fight, and killed two of the demons before the remaining three pinned her. He’d tried to stop them, but he’d been knocked clean out, unable to do much more than hobble threateningly at them.

The Impala skidded to a halt in her driveway, and the engine had barely even turned off before I was out of the car, not caring if Sam was following or not. Garth was at the door, obviously waiting for us anxiously, a shotgun in his hands and too much blood on his shirt.

I knew without asking that it was hers.

‘Where is she?’ I demanded and Garth saw straight past my menacing exterior to how panicked and torn up I was inside. He pointed to the bedroom he usually used, on the first floor by the staircase, where the door was slightly ajar. Without thanking him, I pushed past, only stopping when the door creaked open.

On the old blue bedspread she’d once told me belonged to her grandmother, Y/N was curled up in the fetal position, her arm wrapped poorly in bandages, her white vest soaked with blood. Her face was a mess, her bottom lip swollen and split, her right eye the same, and it looked like one of the demons had almost slit her throat; a long gash spread from just underneath her left ear round to the middle of her chin.

She cracked her undamaged eye open and looked up at me, relief in her gaze. I stumbled forward, collapsing to my knees at the side of the bed, feeling as broken as she looked and a second later, feeling guilty for even _thinking_ like that.

This was my fault.

'I’m so sorry.’ My voice was a choked whisper, and I reached out to take her hand, noticing that it was free of injury but still spattered with blood. As I met her gaze again, she frowned, before wincing at the pain in her face.

'Sorry for what?’ She asked, clearly confused.

I shook my head, not realising that she never laid the blame at my door for this. I could do that all on my own right now. 'I led them here. We should never have come to you for help.’

Her laughter was still bright, despite her agony, but it quickly turned into a racking cough that left fresh tears coursing down her face, leaving a trail in the dirt and crimson on her skin. 'Dean, you’re not the only hunters I help. This isn’t your fault.’

She wasn’t going to convince me of that for a while. 'I should have been here.’

'You were working a case. How is any of this your fault?’ She didn’t let me speak. 'Stop being a idjit and get me a drink of water. Feel like my throat is on fire here.’ There was no need to explain why. She’d screamed – of course she’d screamed; they’d made a fucking canvas out of her body for their amusement.

I turned, picking up the pitcher on the bedside table, noticing the dressings and blood covered antiseptic pads that Garth had left. He’d tried his best, bless him, but he wasn’t skilled in the art of patching up. He’d gone to dental school, I recalled him mentioning it once, but he’d obviously never learnt the finer points of stitching a wound.

'Everything okay?’ Sam’s voice made me look up, and I nodded, not daring to speak to my baby brother as I poured Y/N a glass of water, my instincts screaming at me to get the other Alpha out of the room, that I had to protect Y/N – I’d already let her down.

It just reminded me of why she was better off not being my Omega.

Sam crept across the room, taking a seat at the other side of the bed. He started to check Y/N’s wounds, frowning at the extensive cuts and gashes across her shoulders and stomach. She allowed him to touch her freely, which made my hair stand on end, and I tried to focus on getting her to drink some of the water without hurting her more. My brother carried on checking her over, muttering to himself, before standing again.

'I’m gonna go get the medical kit from the bathroom. These wounds need stitching and cleaning.’ He didn’t wait for an answer, and I didn’t watch him leave, keeping all of my attention on Y/N. I heard him talking to Garth in the corridor, checking to see if he was injured, which he wasn’t really, and hearing the other hunter apologise for his awful medical skills. I didn’t blame him for this.

I’d always blame myself.

'Dean, you need to stop.’ Y/N’s voice brought me out of my downward spiral, her fingers clenching around my wrist. God, she was so fucking pale. 'This is not your fault.’ She shifted on the bed, yelping in pain as she moved her leg. I looked down, seeing several deep slashes through her jeans. Garth had missed them, and fresh blood was soaking into the material. 'That…really hurts…’ She whimpered, crying hard, clinging to me as I tried to inspect the wound.

The denim was stuck to some of her leg and I knew it was going to hurt even to cut the pants off of her. And she was already in enough pain. Barking out Garth’s name, I asked him to go into the Impala’s trunk and pull out the medical we kept. Y/N only had painkillers in the house, and I carried much stronger stuff. You never knew when you needed to knock someone out.

*****

_Reader’s POV_

When you woke up, the house was silent and night had fallen. The room was lit only by a dim lamp by the window, and turning your head was painful. Trying to grasp what had happened was hard, and you ignored it in favour of figuring out what was going on now.

You were still home, that much was clear. And the strong scent of Alpha was in the air, which usually indicated hunters were near. Garth was watching something in the living room; you could hear the telltale tones of a soap opera, which he’d admitted were a guilty pleasure. His laughter rang out at something, and he was joined by another. Sam. Sam was here.

A soft snore to the other side of you made you turn, wincing as you did. Dean was asleep in a battered old armchair you usually kept in the den, his sleeves rolled up and his jeans bloodied.

You remembered now.

The demons.

What they did to you.

_Filthy little Omega bitch. Want your master back here? Tail between his legs?_

You closed your eyes tightly, anger simmering in your chest, pain exploding through your bruises and a whimper escaped your throat. Immediately, Dean was awake, concern plastered across his features as he fell out of the chair and to his knees at your side.

'Y/N? You okay?’

'I-I’m fine.’ You said, shaking your head lightly. 'I’m sore but…you knocked me out -’

'Me and Sam fixed you up.’ He said quietly, starting to check you over again. You were in a clean vest, no bra and little shorts that you usually wore as pyjamas. So at some point, you’d been naked in front of both of the Winchesters.

That probably shouldn’t be what worried you most, but there’s logic and then there’s reality.

'You were pretty banged up.’ Dean continued. 'They worked you over good, huh?’

A slight nod from you. 'Yeah. They…they wanted to know where you were. Thought that you’d come straight back.’

'Garth said you killed a couple of them.’

'There were too many.’ Your voice had lowered to a whisper, and you felt tears threatening again. 'The three that were left…I don’t know…I don’t know what happened to them…or if they’ll come back…I don’t…’

'Sssh.’ Dean slipped his hand over your stomach, avoiding your injuries, offering comfort with his touch. 'Garth took them out. He woke up when -’, his green eyes dropped to the bedspread, 'when he heard you screaming. You passed out, and he exorcised them. He called us, and tried to patch you up but -’

'Garth is good at a lot of things. Being a medic is not on that list.’ You laughed a little, despite your pain. 'I’m glad you came. As long as they won’t come back for you.’

Dean shook his head. 'Me and Sam can handle it. We’re not going anywhere for a while.’ His fingers slid between yours, and you were instantly warm, and so fucking relieved he’d come. 'If we can get hold of Cas, he’ll help heal you.’ You remembered Castiel; you’d only met him once but he’d left an impression. 'And we’ll stay. Stop this from happening.’

'They won’t force me out of my home, Dean.’ Your voice took on a stubborn tone. 'Not ever.’

'I know.’ He smiled, pulling your hand to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

'But you can’t stay.’ Your sudden statement made him frown in confusion, and he sat back a little, waiting for an explanation. 'Bad timing I guess. It’ll only be a few days before…before I go into heat. We both know that it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to be around.’

Dean’s face remained impassive for a moment, before he slowly untangled his fingers from yours. 'Okay. It’s not a problem. We’ll call a couple of other hunters – we know a few Betas. And Garth will be here. We’ll make sure you’re not alone.’ His expression was accepting, his tone even, but you didn’t believe it for a second. You knew exactly what he was thinking.

Dean believed that you wanted him to leave because you didn’t want him. Because Garth was right. You were so in friggin’ love with Dean Winchester, it was hurting more than the wounds you had received to think about sending him away. And you would still do it. Because he couldn’t be tied to you. Not when you couldn’t protect yourself from a couple of hench demons.

'I know you won’t.’ You said, quietly, and he smiled, squeezing your hand once more before standing up.

'You need to eat. I’m gonna go sort some food out.’ You replied with a nod, watching him leave before trying to shift into a comfortable position. The boys had left you laying on your back whilst they’d sorted out your wounds but you were never comfortable sleeping like that.

Dean’s voice caught your attention again, and you stopped moving, listening intently.

'Oh, you’re telling me you had no idea? That _your_ demons were out doing this without you being aware?’ A silent pause and you frowned, wondering who he was on the phone to. He was in the kitchen, and you could hear the coffee maker running, and Sam was still laughing along with Garth in the living room. 'I don’t give a _fuck_. You find out who decided it would be a good idea to fuck with the person…to fuck with her…you find out and you _deal_ with it. Before I come find you and find a nice cosy spot to shove you in Lucifer’s cage with him!’

You heard him slam his phone on the table as he growled, and Sam’s heavy footsteps padded along the corridor.

'What’s wrong?’ Sam asked his brother, who huffed loudly.

'Crowley. Says he doesn’t know who decided Y/N was a good target.’

'Is she okay?’

'She’s fine. Resting.’ Dean’s sigh was clear over the sound of Garth’s chuckle. 'I’m gonna kill him if he knew anything about this.’

You pulled yourself up a little, seeking some form of comfort despite your injuries. Sam spoke again and you continued to listen. 'I don’t know whether he did or not. But it’s not just that bugging you.’

'No. Y/N said we should leave. She’s gonna be in heat soon and…she doesn’t want me around. Or you. I know, I know, it won’t affect you cos you’re just not…’

'No, I’m not. But I don’t know if it’s such a good idea we should leave.’

'She doesn’t want me here, Sammy.’ Your body tensed at the dejection in his words.

'That’s bull. She does want you here. She just doesn’t…fuck, I’m gonna bang your heads together. Even if she is in heat, Dean, you’re not some teenaged Alpha that would knot a fucking lampost if it looked at you the right way. You’re an adult, and you can control yourself.’

'I know that.’ Dean huffed. 'But she asked me to leave.’

'So you roll over and show your belly?’ Sam chuckled. 'Never thought I’d see the day that Dean Winchester did as he was told.’

'Shut up.’

'We’re staying.’ Sam said, and you heard the kitchen door squeak. 'Put your foot down, tell her straight. She needs _you,_ Dean. Not me, not Garth, not anyone else. You.’

Silence fell, and Sam’s footsteps moved back past your door to the living room, the shadow of his large frame filling the small gap of where the door was open for a second. Moments later, Dean stepped back into the room, and you looked up at him, wondering if he knew how thin the walls of your house were.

'I’m gonna order pizza.’ He said, smiling. 'Any preference?’

'Pepperoni.’ You answered automatically, and he nodded, turning to leave the room again. 'Dean?’

'Yeah?’ He looked back.

'I heard…I heard what you said to Sam. And what Sam said to you.’ He paled and you couldn’t help but smile. 'Walls in this house are really thin. And you guys don’t seem to be able to master hushed tones.’ You frowned for a second. 'How the hell do you hunt so well when you’re so damn loud?’

Dean stepped back towards the bed. 'Y/N -’

'No.’ You held up a hand, trying to ignore all the cuts you pulled as you did so. 'Sam was right. We’re both being idiots here, and I wanna get this out. Need to lay it all on the table, right?’ He nodded, but you could tell he was nervous as hell. 'Fuck, Dean, I’ve been in love with you since I was a teenager. It’s wrong and dangerous and…’

'Who said it was wrong?’ He muttered.

'Well, maybe not wrong but…I never in a million years thought you’d want me. Especially after I presented as…well, let’s face it, the bottom rung of the hierarchy.’ He scoffed and you smiled. Dean was never one to believe in Omegas being the lesser of the species. 'But you don’t wanna be tied down, and I don’t _wanna_ tie you down. I’m…I’m good with it. I don’t wanna put you in a position you don’t wanna be in.’

Dean was silent, his eyes on the floor as he absorbed your words, and you felt a chill settle in your stomach as you waited for him to agree. His teeth grabbed his bottom lip and his hand left the door handle as he slowly raised his green eyes to yours.

'We’re both idiots.’ He said quietly, moving to sit on the bed. 'Real idjits.’ He chuckled. 'Bobby would be kicking my ass right now.’ His hand sought out yours. 'You’d never tie me down. But this…with the demons…this is my fault -’

'No it isn’t. I knew what I was getting into when I continued my work. When I help hunters out. Hell, I’m lucky I went this long without an ass-kicking.’

'Even so, I live a dangerous life.’ Dean said, his thumb grazing over the back of your hand. 'But these days, I’m finding it difficult to see a reason to keep living it.’ You tensed and he smiled. 'Since January…I guess I’ve not found it so hard.’

'Dean?’ You asked, your expression of his name light as a breeze.

'Yeah?’

'Just fucking kiss me.’

He smiled, leaning down. 'Okay.’


	5. May

**May**

_Reader’s POV_

It was three days before you felt it.

Three days of sleeplessness because of the wounds on your back, or knees, or whichever ones decided they were going to hurt more. Of course, the first clue to any heat is being unable to sleep, feeling constantly hungry and thirsty, and feeling your temperature hook up a few notches.

When the cramps started, you wanted to do nothing but curl into a ball on the bed, underneath duvet, preferably with a massive chocolate gateau. You wouldn’t even need a spoon.

Sometimes, and it was mostly at this time of the month, you seriously hated being an Omega. Beta females didn’t have this agony – they were lucky enough to have regular cycles, and they never had to deal with the sweating and the constant need for sex. Of course, your body was telling you that you were fertile, you needed to mate, you needed an Alpha knot and fuck, there were two fucking Alphas in the house, and neither of them would come near you.

Dean tried. The first day, he came in, and you saw the scent of you knock him for six. His conversation was disjointed, his pupils blown, and he kept a suspicious hand over his crotch the entire time. When Sam knocked and went to enter the room, Dean practically flew at him, tackling him out of the room and into the den. After that, Garth was left to bring you anything you needed.

Bed-rest was still the order of the day, since your injuries were extensive, and Castiel hadn’t been answering any form of call, so you weren’t able to do much beyond going to the bathroom and having quick showers. You were becoming frustrated with the entire situation.

Garth had tried to keep you company, and you appreciated that. But it wasn’t what you wanted or needed. With Dean so close, your hormones were going haywire, demanding the attention of the Alpha you _truly_ wanted, but the most you could get out of him was when he wandered past your bedroom door. Even on the one occasion you’d escaped, limping out of your room to the kitchen in search of something _really_ naughty to eat, Dean had bolted the second he saw you, and it had been up to Sam to parade you back to your bed.

Sam didn’t have any effect on you. It was odd, really. And it didn’t appear like he was affected by you in the slightest. One night, halfway through, when you were struggling to sleep again, you called out for him as he walked by your room.

‘Sam?’ He stopped at the sound of his name, poking his head through the small gap.

'Yeah?’

'Can I talk to you?’

He nodded, walking inside, checking behind him quickly, just in case Dean saw him. Whilst his brother was being stubborn about his own feelings, he wasn’t happy for you to be around Sam.

'What’s wrong?’ He asked, and you somehow got the feeling he was expecting a talk about Dean.

'You’re not affected by this.’ You said, quietly, and Sam sighed, shaking his head. 'Why not? I didn’t think it was something you could…you know…ignore.’

'I didn’t. When I was younger, if I got so much as a whiff of an Omega in heat, I’d…well, I’d be panting like a literal dog in heat.’ He grinned, but it was so sad it almost broke your heart. 'Then I met Jess. I was young, and I didn’t think beyond the physical really. All I’d had up to that point was a family of Alphas and hunting. I went to college thinking I’d probably bed a few Betas, and then the first week…’ He smiled, his eyes glazing over as he remembered. 'She was drop dead gorgeous. An art student. Always had her head in clouds when she was on her own. But when she was with me…I never felt that way about anyone. She knew, of course, she knew straight away.’

'Knew what?’

Sam smiled, looking down at his hands. 'That I was hers. And that she was mine.’

You frowned. 'You were…true mates?’

He chuckled. 'It’s such a romantic notion. Jess loved it, naturally. She was an artist. The gentlest, most kind, most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I’d have loved her even if she wasn’t an Omega.’ He sighed, and you saw tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. 'We barely had any time together. I wish I’d made the most of it.’

'You never…I mean, wouldn’t you have had kids?’

Sam shook his head. 'Jess was on control. She wanted to finish college first. But she talked about it all the time. If she hadn’t…if she hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have gone with Dean. I’d have gone back to school, finished becoming what I’d planned. I’d have given Jess all the kids she wanted. I’d have given her the stars if it made her happy.’ The tears were escaping down his cheeks now, and you felt so bad for him. 'Ever since I lost her, I’ve never found that feeling again. Someone one told me that you only get one chance at finding your Omega. And I lost mine because I couldn’t protect her. Sure, there have been other people in my life, other loves…but none like Jess was.’

'So you don’t think you’ll _ever_ find another Omega?’

Sam smiled, reaching out to take your hand. Your skin was practically boiling under his touch, and he frowned. 'You’re really warm. I’m gonna get you a cold drink.’ He stood up, before hesitating. 'Y/N…don’t let Dean walk away. I know he’s hiding and I know he’s stubborn…but I can’t watch him go through what I’ve been through. Half my life died with Jess. I never recovered that. I never will. The least I can do, is make sure my brother finds his happiness.’ His eyes met yours for a second. 'And that you find yours.’

You stared as he left, the truth of his words settling heavily in your soul.

*****

Four days in, and you’d become unbearably uncomfortable. Garth and Dean had gone out on a supply run, and Sam was mending a broken drainpipe in the backyard, leaving you alone in the house, desperate for some sort of relief.

Creeping out of your temporary room, you snuck upstairs, ignoring the protests from every single part of your body. You’d been begging the boys to let you sleep in your own room, but they were concerned about you using the less accessible bathroom up there, and after a while, you’d just relented. Garth was happy on the sofa and both Winchesters were using the bedroom they usually occupied when they stayed.

Your bedroom door was shut, and you opened it to darkness, the black out blinds you used still shut tightly. Silently padding across the room, you felt the side of the bed and located the small lamp, flicking it on.

Immediately, you saw Dean’s face, his head buried in your favourite pillow as he slept fitfully on the bed. The light made him open his eyes, just as you jumped in shock, falling backwards onto your ass, a groan of pain leaving you as you did so.

'Y/N!’ He cried out, leaping from the bed, and your brain slowly registered that he was only wearing his boxers. He’d been practically _naked_ in your bed. 'Shit, are you okay?’

'Dean, what the fuck are you doing in here?’ You asked, unsure what you were mad about, and if you had the ability to even be mad. Very quickly, your hormones were overiding any feelings of anger, and replacing everything with a single thought. _Dean’s almost naked. Dean’s almost naked. Dean’s almost naked._

It was like you were sixteen all over again.

'I was driving Sam nuts and Garth said he was going to shoot me.’ Dean mumbled, helping you to your feet, checking over your wounds. You tried to ignore the tent in his underwear as he did so. 'Your heat has…it’s making me a little stir crazy.’

You eyed him, scrunching up your nose. 'There is something we could do about that.’ Your voice came out as a purr and almost immediately, Dean went on the offensive.

'No. No. Not a good idea.’

'You kissed me the other day!’ You protested. 'Now you won’t come near me! But it’s okay to sleep in my bed, in my sheets, which I’m fairly certain stink of me.’

'It was…it was comforting.’ He defended his actions, taking a step back. It was slightly hilarious to be arguing to someone stood in front of you with a boner making an impressive tent in their boxers, but you tried to stifle the giggles along with the inappropriate thoughts. 'I was out of the way.’

'I didn’t even think anyone was in the house!’ You yelled, desperately clinging to your anger. Dean was blushing bright red, but you weren’t sure if that was from embarrassment or arousal. He was within touching distance and you itched to physically feel him, but managed to hold yourself back.

'What are you doing up here anyway?’ He demanded, turning the tables. 'You’re not supposed to get out of bed.’

'I’ve been in that bed for over a week. I’m gonna fucking kill someone if…if…’

Dean narrowed his eyes. 'If what?’

You sighed. 'If I don’t get some relief from this -’ You gestured to yourself. 'That isn’t my room and all my…things…are up here.’ He raised an eyebrow, clearly looking for elaboration. 'I have some…toys that help.’ The last few words rushed out, and Dean’s other eyebrow hit the roof.

'Toys?’ He swallowed, shifting on the balls of his feet. 'As in…fake knots and shit they sell for omegas?’ You nodded and he moved backwards, his calves hitting the edge of your bed. 'I really shouldn’t know that sort of thing.’

'Why not?’ You asked, a little spiteful as you spoke. ’ _You’re_ not gonna do anything to help.’

He had the grace to look hurt by the remark. 'I’ve got good reasons for that.’

'Save it.’

His hurt expression turned to anger. 'I have. But fuck it, you wanna play with fire?’ He stood up again. 'Lay down.’

'What?’ You blinked.

'I said, lay down. I’m gonna help you.’ His voice was little more than a growl and you sidled around him to scoot onto the bed. You didn’t lay down, but you sat with your legs on the bedspread, keeping your eyes on him. 'I’m not gonna knot you. But I can help. If that’s all you need.’

'You know what I need, Dean.’ You replied quietly and he shook his head. With a heavy exhale, you motioned to the drawer at the bottom of the bed side table. 'In there.’

Dean bent down, drawing your attention to his cock as it bobbed against his stomach, a small patch of wetness on the fabric from his tip. You swallowed hard, feeling your body respond to the sight, and you let your head fall back, mostly so you couldn’t fixate on his dick for a few minutes.

You failed. You might not be able to see it, but your brain provided a very accurate visual.

'Whoa.’ Dean’s voice was quiet, and he stood up with the shoebox in hand. 'How many you got?’

'Depends how bad it gets.’ You whispered.

'How bad is it now?’ He asked, taking the lid off, and you felt your mouth go dry. 'I mean, do you need this little purple one?’ He held up the smallest of your toys, the one with the vibrating knot. You shook your head and he grinned, picking up the smooth white one next. This one had a clitoral attachment that stimulated you even more.

'Dean…you don’t have to…’

'Quiet.’ The simple order made you shiver, and he put the box on the side, keeping the white toy in his hand. 'This one will do for now. If you need more, you’ll have to ask nicely.’ He tugged at your sleep shorts. 'We’re gonna have to take these off without aggravating your wounds.’

'Okay.’ You whispered, closing your eyes and lifting your hips off the bed as Dean pulled your shorts down your legs, revealing your glistening sex, wetness already coating your thighs as he pushed them apart.

'Someone’s definitely eager.’ He growled under his breath and you whimpered.

'Dean…please…I don’t…’

'You wanna know why I won’t knot you, Y/N?’ He asked, and you nodded, before he touched the tip of the toy to your sex and you stiffened. Dean didn’t speak as he applied the tiniest amount of pressure to slip the plastic between your lips, allowing an inch or so to penetrate you before pulling back. 'You’re hurt.’ He said quietly, and you could feel his hand shaking where he held the toy. Pushing it into you again, he allowed two inches, before stopping once more. 'And that’s my fault.’ You opened your mouth to protest, but Dean silence you by pushing at the toy again, flicking the little button to activate the vibrating rabbit ears as they came into contact with your clit.

Almost involuntarily you moaned, your hands clenching into fists at your sides, catching some of the covers in your fingers.

God, you wanted to cum. But Dean was intent on taking his time…

*****

_Dean’s POV_

It was hell. I was putting myself through hell.

But I had to touch her. Even if just to help her, to ease the symptoms of her heat, I had to do it. Watching her writhe under my hands though, my cock hard in my pants, that toy buried in her slick, warm pussy…it was almost too much. I had to pause, to give myself a minute to breathe before I lost all control.

'I can’t.’ I whispered, closing my eyes. 'I can’t knot you when you’re hurt, Y/N.’

’D-Dean…’ She shuddered, and I could almost taste her orgasm. She was so fucking close. A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin, and I could feel the heat of her though my hand. She felt like the fucking sun and I wanted to burn.

Biting my lip, I pushed the toy in further, and she cried out. I twisted it a little, watching the changes flutter across her face, the progression of her mouth from an open-mouthed cry to a tiny o-shape when her first climax took her crashing into waves of pleasure, her juices coating the toy and my fingers.

My free hand slid underneath my boxers, and I gripped my cock, pumping it a few times, feeling the knot at the bottom, the tension in my own flesh almost painful. My mind, of course, provided vivid imagery of what it would be like to sink into her, to take her as mine, even though I had no experience of that. I’d never had an Omega.

Never thought I would.

Y/N made a little keening noise and I had to tighten my grip on my cock, almost as if jerking myself off would prevent me from losing control. The hand holding the toy inside her pressed it further in until it would go no more, and her pelvis started to thrust, and I realised she was fucking herself onto the toy. She needed more friction.

With a gasp, I gave her what she need, timing the strokes of the toy inside her along to the pace of my hand on my cock. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came, but I wouldn’t knot. It didn’t work that way. I’d be left with the same empty feeling I’d had for five months, and Y/N would be just as empty.

'Dean…please…I need…I need…’ She couldn’t say it, she was panting and sweating so hard. But I knew what she needed, and I flicked the other button on the toy, triggering the fake knot to expand. The toy lodged inside her and she came with a scream, drowning out the grunt I gave as I came into my boxers, staining the front of them with cum, my hand sticky as I released myself.

For a few moments I stayed there with my hand between her legs, watching her body shake, her chest rising and falling in a fast rhythm, and I was almost mesmerised by it. She looked sated…for now.

Slowly, I let go, knowing that removing the toy now would probably only aggravate the situation. It should have been my knot giving her what she needed, not some fake piece of plastic.

But I couldn’t hurt her. Not any more than she’d already been hurt.

'Y/N?’ I whispered, wiping my hand on a dry part of my boxers discreetly. Y/N nodded slowly – she was falling asleep. Obviously whatever I’d done here had eased her discomfort for a little while. 'I’m gonna go downstairs okay?’

She nodded again, but her eyes were shut, her entire body relaxed. I pulled the covers from underneath her, tucking her into the bed, before leaning down and kissing her forehead. She was out cold before I stood straight.

Heading out of the room, and to the bathroom, I fired off a quick text to Sam, letting him know that Y/N was asleep back in her room and I was getting a shower. He’d know something had happened, and I’d be facing question time later, but right now, I needed to ease my own discomfort a little.


	6. June

**June**

_Reader’s POV_

After your encounter with Dean during your heat, he’d made excuses to leave your house. Although he was still technically staying there, you didn’t see him for the rest of the month. Sam had kept up a constant vigil, but once the heat was over and you were back on your feet, you told him to go and find a case. You were used to being alone, and having three men around the house crowding you was a bit much.

Especially when you were head over heels in love with one of them. His actions during your neediest time had only confirmed that feeling – he’d taken care of you, eased that discomfort without taking advantage. Any other Alpha (with the exception of Sam maybe) would have lost control. Dean gave you exactly what you needed without compromising his position.

In one way, it was sweet and endearing.

In the other, you felt rejected as hell, even if he swore his only reason for not losing control was because you were injured.

Of course, even after you sent them away again, you knew it wouldn’t be long before they were back. You just weren’t expecting to be the one to make the call this time.

They were in Illinois, so not a million miles away, but you still had to try and take care of this yourself. This was your town. It always had been, even if you lived on the fringes and didn’t partake in community activity. You prided yourself on the quiet and safety here, and having demons in the midst of people you’d known your whole life?

Not on your watch.

So, you found yourself, at midnight, hunting through town, following the omens. Dean had been in contact with Crowley, who’d insisted they weren’t his. Apparently, some rogue factions had split off from hell’s main quarter, and started claiming souls for themselves. They’d already killed four people in town, and you were intent they wouldn’t kill any more.

Dean had told you to wait.

You hadn’t listened.

Naturally.

An abandoned house, not a mile from your place, had flickering candle light in the windows. You parked a good few hundred yards away, before checking your gun, and sliding a machete in the thigh holster you’d made yourself. Garth had joked it made you look a little bit like Lara Croft, which had made you laugh.

Your tits weren’t pointy enough.

Creeping towards the house, you kept yourself on full alert. The sounds of sobs and then a high pitched scream, had you hiding in the bushes near the front door, as it opened. Light spilled out onto the porch and a tall man with jet black hair stepped out.

‘She’s gonna be dead before long if you keep that up.’ He spoke, as another demon, a woman, stepped out beside him, cleaning her hands of blood with a small towel. 'And we need her alive.’

'No, we don’t. All we gotta do is keep killing these itty-bitty town folk until that bitch turns up. We can attack her place again. Winchesters might be there. But if we make it look like a random thing, she’ll come after us herself. She’s done it before.’

How long had they been watching you before they’d attacked last time? Your throat itched and your fingers went to the thick scar still lingering on your skin, where the demons had unsuccessfully tried to slit your throat.

The female on the steps laughed. 'We’re just taking out their support system. Crowley will thank us when we tell him what we’ve been up to all these months. Make him realise that those goddamn hunters are nothing but a pain.’ You scowled. Maybe Crowley wasn’t lying to Dean, but these demons were working for him in some way or another. 'That stupid bitch was out cold when I smoked out. Made that idiot staying with her think that he’d killed me.’

'Either way, she might be angry enough to beat us if she finds out what you’ve been doing to these people.’

The female demon waved her hand dismissively. A sound from inside the house had her and her companion turning around and you watched them retreat into the house. Stepping from the shadows, you moved around the side of the house, gathering intel.

There was at least eight of them, scattered throughout the rooms you could see into. Didn’t mean there weren’t more elsewhere. You couldn’t take them by yourself, no matter how much you wanted to.

You’d wait for Dean.

You knew he’d have your back whatever went down.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

For a second, as I walked into Y/N’s house, I’d actually believed she’d waited for me, finding her sat in the kitchen. But of course, she hadn’t, and she’d been to find out what we facing.

Sam’s laughter at me had only worsened my mood.

'You shouldn’t have gone out there.’

'I’m not completely incapable, Dean.’ She’d scowled deeply at me and I’d only gotten more pissed. Sam’s hand on my shoulder made me turn on him.

'She’s right, Dean. She did recon and came back. It was smart.’

'She could have been caught.’

'And that’s stopped you when?’ Stupid overgrown little brother was right. But I wasn’t going to let him win so easily. I copied Y/N’s scowl and then shook my head.

She was still glaring at me, and I threw my hands in the air in surrender 'Fine. So what did you get?’

'There’s at least eight of them. I already called Garth. He’s with some hunter called Brian. They’re on their way.’ She opened the fridge, handing me and then Sam a beer. I took it, suppressing the shudder I felt as our fingers connecting for less than a second.

'So we’ve got back up.’ Sam said, and she nodded. I grimaced, unsure of the odds still.

'Only one knife.’

'We can make devil’s trap bullets. Five of us, trap them and find out what they want. Although, I think I already know.’ Y/N folded her arms over her chest, and I’m not ashamed to admit I admired the way her breasts strained against her tight tank top. 'They’re brown nosing. They think killing me, drawing me out, will put you off kilter and allow them to kill you. They think it’ll make Crowley happy.’

My grimace turned into an expression of anger. 'I knew he was behind this.’ I growled and Y/N shook her head.

'No. I don’t think he has any idea. These are just…radicalists or something? Killing me won’t do anything. It’ll only make you more dangerous. So they’re stupid to boot.’

'You’re not going.’ I said, dropping my beer to the table. 'If it’s you they want dead, you aren’t going.’

'Dean-’

'I’m not arguing with you about this.’ I said, knowing she’d try and fight me. Sam was seconds away from joining her, but all I could think about in my mind was her getting hurt again, seeing her covered in too much blood, too many cuts and wounds…but not breathing this time.

It cut me to my core, where I built walls so long ago to protect myself. Cracks had appeared over time, and there was always places where pain existed constantly, but this? Thinking about losing her when she’d never really been mine?

It would break me.

'Dean, I’m not staying here.’ You whispered. 'I can’t. This is my town. People are dying because of me. I’m not letting you go without me.’

I stepped closer to her, completely forgetting Sam’s presence behind me. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes and knew she might see, but I couldn’t care less. Raising my hand, I cupped her cheek – it was warm, her skin smooth under my touch. 'I can’t lose you.’ I whispered, and her eyes went wide at the admission, her pupils black and expanding to wipe out the colour. 'I can’t..’

'You won’t.’ Her words were quiet, barely reassuring, although she held my hand in place against her cheek, leaning into it slightly. 'But I can’t stay here, Dean.’

'She’s right.’ Sam interjected, and I closed my eyes, hating that this was happening. 'She has to come with us. We can’t leave her here alone. Only takes a second for a demon to get across town and do what they came here to do. We take her with us. We protect her. We can be smart about this, Dean.’

'Sam’s got a point.’ Y/N said, pulling my hand from her face but keeping hold of it, squeezing gently. I opened my eyes again, looking down at her, still feeling hopeless despite the confidence of both my brother and the smaller Omega in front of me.

I nodded, not willing to speak in case I gave in to the threatening terror inside me. I’d stayed strong and fought the odds my entire life. It wasn’t the first time I’d had a bad feeling about something. It wouldn’t be the last time either. The only thing I could do is go with it.

*****

_Reader’s POV_

Sometimes it frustrated you that Dean had little to no faith in you, or it seemed that way. You knew that he had a lot of baggage from the past, and you didn’t have any wish to distract him from the fight at hand. But you weren’t going to sit down and be protected. Yes, you weren’t a proper hunter, and you didn’t like shooting things – it didn’t mean that you didn’t know how. These things were taking lives – maybe you found it hard to fight, but it was harder to sit back and do nothing.

Dean gave in eventually, and plans were made when Garth and Brian arrived. They’d literally only turned up because you’d asked, and you were grateful for their assistance. It didn’t stop Dean from grumbling the _entire_ time.

The assault on the house was quick and brutal, and the Winchester brothers took the front, killing three demons before you’d even got through the front door. The hostage inside was in a bad way, but alive, and Brian quickly freed her before smuggling her out through the fights.

Once all but two of the demons were dispatched, and the two left were trapped by carved bullets, Brian and Garth left, taking the survivor to the hospital. To your dismay, there were two bodies in the house that you’d discovered, and they’d been there a day or so. You’d never noticed any other captives on your little reconnaissance mission, and you immediately felt guilty at their deaths.

Sam had one of the demons in his grasp and was demanding details. He refused to talk, but the female you’d seen the night before was turning to jelly in the face of Dean Winchester’s interrogation skills. He had the demon knife to her throat, and she kept glancing to you.

Your neck itched, and you scowled, knowing exactly who she was.

'So your plan was to crawl up Crowley’s ass, huh? By killing her?’ Dean was seething as he spoke.

'He was distracted!’ The demon wailed, ignoring the hissed request to shut up from her comrade. Sam dragged the other demon from the room, and you heard a whispered exorcism, followed by a roar of black smoke. 'You and your brother….you’re liabilities. We’re only trying to show the king who his _real_ friends are!’

'We’re not friends with Crowley, you douchebag.’ Dean spat, sliding the knife into the demon’s side. 'And you tried to kill someone I care about.’

'We knew she was your Omega.’ She struggled, but it was hopeless, and her black eyes drifted to you. 'We were…we weren’t going to kill her at first. But then she killed ours, and…’

'And it became revenge?’ Dean shook the demon, the knife smoothing through her flesh like butter.

'Dean -’ You slipped your hand over his shoulder. 'Just kill her. We know there aren’t any others.’ His eyes moved to you, seeing the scar on your neck once more. 'Can we just go home?’ You asked, and he nodded, ignoring the demon’s cries as he killed her, the body flashing with yellow light before dropping to the floor.

Dean turned to you then, his chest heaving, his hand taking hold of yours and squeezing it. 'You’re okay?’ He asked, nostrils flaring as he tried to control his emotions.

'I’m fine. No injuries.’ You checked him over, seeing no visible wounds. 'It went fine. We’re both okay.’

He nodded, inhaling deeply. 'I need…’ He let out the breath he’d taken, before holding you close. 'I need to get you home.’

'I know. There’s not exactly anything -’

'No.’ Dean shook his head, his eyes darkened as he pulled you closer. You gasped as you felt his arousal press against your belly. 'I can’t fight this anymore, Y/N. I need you.’

'I thought you said -’

His head shook again, and he looked so desperate, it almost tore you in two. 'Forget what I said. Knowing you’re…’ He seemed to be struggling with words. 'We need to go.’

Sam appeared in the doorway, and he frowned at Dean’s possessive hold on you. You glanced at him, shaking your head, before Dean threw him the keys.

'You need to drive.’ He ordered, his tone giving no leeway for arguing. His hold on your waist didn’t lessen as you followed Sam out to the car, and you slid into the backseat with Dean close to you, his face nuzzling at your neck. The movement only made you aware of your own arousal, and you groaned quietly, noticing that Sam was breaking a few speed limits to get back to your house.

'I’m gonna grab a motel,’ he said quietly, catching your eye in the rearview mirror. Dean didn’t acknowledge the sound of his brother speaking, but you nodded, all too aware that the Alpha pressing himself against you had crossed a line he wouldn’t be going back from, and you were jumping right over it with him.

True to his word, Sam left you and Dean at your doorstep, speeding off in the Impala without even a word of protest from her owner. He was too busy pulling at your sweater, his hips plastered against yours.

'Baby, we need to be inside. Now.’ He grunted, rutting against your leg.

Your whispered reply was drowned out by a moan as he thumbed you through your jeans, managing to find your clit even through the layers of clothing. 'Fuck, Dean, hold on.’ You fumbled with your keys, finally unlocking the door, only to find yourself pushed into the house by the horniest Alpha you’d ever seen.

Dean nipped at your neck, pressing you against the nearest hard surface, which happened to be a wall, and you reached out to shut the door, managing to knock over a table with a vase on it at the same time. Water splashed onto the floor, but you didn’t have time to think as Dean pulled you with him along the hallway, straight into the room you’d been using when you’d been hurt.

'What about my room?’ You whispered, somehow not wanting to break the atmosphere with loud speech. Dean shook his head.

'No. Need you now. We can go up there later but….fuck, now, Y/N.’ He pulled at your jeans, and you grabbed his hands, slowing him a little.

'Dean, calm down!’ You urged and he paused, his flushed cheeks raising as his eyes met yours. The green was almost obliterated by his pupils, and he was panting, sweating heavily. 'Shit. You’re in rut.’

'Don’t give a fuck.’ He said.

'Well I do!’ You retorted, pushing him back. 'I could be any piece of tail right now and you’d be like this.’ Hurt flooded your emotions and you shook your head, pushing him away again as he tried to reach out to you. 'No.’

'Y/N, please. Please don’t leave me.’

'I’m not leaving. But you just want to fuck. That’s all. I’m not gonna be used.’

'I’d never use you.’ He pleaded, and you let him grasp your hands. 'You know why I’m in rut?’ He asked and you shook your head. 'Because you were in danger. Maybe not bad danger, but you…you got hurt. And then I helped with your…your heat and ever since…fuck, I can’t get the smell of you out of my head. The taste of you on my fingers.’ He pulled you close and you didn’t resist this time. 'I had to fucking jerk off in the shower about a thousand times because I dared stick my fingers in my mouth after they’d barely touched your pussy.’

'Dean…’ Your voice was a choked whisper as he pressed himself against you, his lips seeking yours. 'I don’t -’ Shit, you weren’t even in heat but you were slick for him, your entire body vibrating with him so close.

He was shaking too, his fingers unsure where to settle on your skin as he explored you. 'I’m in rut for my mate. My Omega.’

'Alpha.’ You keened against his lips, giving into your body’s demands. The sheer exhaustion of fighting it for so long was mind numbing, and the relief of realising what the universe had been trying to tell you was almost too much. Dean’s presence settled against you and you held onto him.

'Need you now, baby. So bad.’ His teeth grazed your neck as he pulled your pants undone, roughly thrusting a hand into your underwear, seeking out your wetness. When he found the right spot, you cried out, letting him know you were ready for him, almost desperately so.

'You don’t…Dean, just please, I need you.’

'And I need to make sure I don’t hurt you.’ He exhaled, the words a rush. As much as he wanted you, he wanted to not hurt you more, and he was intent on making sure you were ready for him. Your pants pooled around your ankles, and he guided you back towards the bed, laying you down with your legs over the side before he knelt between your thighs and pulled your pants and shoes off the rest of the way.

The first touch of his tongue against your clit sent you spiralling, but not quite to orgasm. It was sensitive as hell down there, and it wouldn’t take long, but Dean was insistent on doing a thorough job apparently. After swirling his tongue around your clit a few times, he trailed downwards, thrusting in and out of your hole and then burying his face in your cunt, fucking you with his mouth. You arched and cried out, begging for more, and he obliged, sliding one finger into your heated flesh, searching out that one sweet spot he knew would have you soaking his tongue with your orgasm.

As you nodded, despite him not being able to see, a repeated “yes” fell from your lips, and Dean moaned into you, moving his mouth back to your clit and sucking hard as he added a second finger, pressing deep inside you and rolling the tips around to figure out exactly what made you tick.

And just like that, you came, screaming his name, begging for him, and this time, he wasn’t about to linger. He kept his fingers inside you, stretching you and allowing you to adjust to the intrusion as he stripped off his pants. Only when he needed to take off his shirt did he remove his fingers from you, and you took the opportunity to strip the rest of your clothes, scrambling up the bed as he loomed over you.

'Dean -’ You started, before finding yourself with a mouthful of Winchester. 'I’m ready, please.’ You pushed him back, and he nodded, pulling you down to the bed with him.

His cock nudged at your thigh and you groaned, biting at his chest, which made his dick twitch against you, and you giggled, shelving that information for later. With a sly grin, he rolled you over, using his fingers to spread you open.

'You wanna be on top or bottom?’ You asked, wiggling your hips as he rubbed his cock against you, his weight supported by his knees.

'I wanna be on top, unless you want something different.’ He pressed into you a couple of centimetres, smiling as your eyes rolled back. 'Wanna kiss you when I knot you, sweetheart.’

'Fuck.’ How could he be romantic when he was about to fuck you into the mattress? Was it some unique talent he’d picked up somewhere? 'Dean just…’

'Yeah, I got ya.’ He nodded, grabbing your hips and pulling you down the bed a little way. Moving closer to you, his cock brushed against your pussy lips and you arched a little for him, before he swept your lips into a deep kiss. His tongue thrust into your mouth and you felt him push into you slowly, swallowing down your moans as he kept moving. When his cock was fully sheathed inside you, he pulled his head back, sweat dripping from his skin onto yours.

'Oh fuck….’

'You curse a lot.’ He pointed out, and you scowled, hitting him on the shoulder.

'Way to kill the mood.’ You whispered and he shrugged with a grin.

'I’m trying to distract myself. You’re so fucking hot and wet…I might not last long.’

'Isn’t it supposed to be like that the first time?’

He raised an eyebrow. 'I don’t wanna be a disappointment.’

'After the way you just licked me out?’ You giggled, and he groaned at the vibrations through your body, making your cunt flutter around him. 'Not possible.’ Your hands went to the small of his back, pressing him into you further. 'Dean, just knot me. _Please.’_

The last whispered word seemed to set him off, and he fell upon you, his hips moving wildly but in a timed pace, drawing almost all of his length from you before slamming back in. With each stroke, you made an “o” sound as his tip found its mark inside you and you quivered, before shouting out your pleasure. Dean’s cock swelled, his knot slowly restricting his movements until he gave in, shuddering hi release into you, filling you to the brim with his cum, his knot tying you together. His teeth found your shoulder and bit hard, enough to slightly break the skin. The act made your orgasm draw out a little longer and you held onto him  as your body did the same.

'Shit, Y/N.’ He panted, pulling back a little to look down at you. Your skin was just as sweaty as his now, and both of you were breathing heavily. 'I had no choice then. Bit of a poor act.’

'Yeah well, give it an hour and we can go again.’ You grinned, running a hand through his mussed up hair.

'An hour?’ He blinked. 'Can I not get a coffee first?’


	7. June cont.

**June**

_Reader’s POV_

There were several things you noticed about Dean as the weeks drew on, him and Sam taking up a sort of semi-residence in your house leaving occasionally t hunt or return to the bunker. The younger Winchester had been sleeping in the room he and Dean used to share when they stayed, and Dean had practically moved into your room.

The first thing you’d noticed was his unwillingless to leave your side. After bonding, the first week was pretty much food, showering and copious amounts of time being lost in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets. Normally, being with someone twenty four hours a day, seven days a week could become overbearing quickly, but Dean was somehow possessively adorable, but he knew when to back off and give you some personal time.

Not that you were too fussed about having personal time lately. You were quite happy to be by his side, ignoring the outside world in favour of imprinting every inch of your Alpha onto your memory, whilst he did the same to you. After three days, you’d catalogued every scar on him, and by the end of the week, you could describe him in perfect detail to anyone who asked, down to the freckles on his nose.

The second thing you’d become aware of was his sleeping habits. Years of sleeping in shared beds with his brother, or his father, and he’d become very accustomed to keeping to his own space. With you around, you’d thought that might change, but Dean wasn’t much for hugging or spooning; after about ten minutes, he’d kiss you on the nose, wish you goodnight and then roll over. But he’d never stay put. He moved, often ending up with his hand possessively place on your ass, almost like he was just checking you were still there and proclaiming to the world that you were his.

It made you smile the first time you noticed, and when you pointed it out to him, he’d gone bright red and run to the shower.

Dean didn’t like to show weakness. This was a part of his personality that you’d seen before, and prepared yourself for. But around you, the walls crumbled and there wasn’t a single part of himself that he didn’t share with you. It was so easy to open up to him in return, and in those small sections of time where neither of you had the energy to move, when the covers had been thrown to the floor as you enjoyed the warmth of each other, you talked about growing up, about seeing hunting from the outskirts of the life. He told you about his life, what he remembered of his mother and things he’d possibly never uttered to another human being.

Sam spent a lot of time avoiding the both of you and you couldn’t blame him. He was being reminded of what he’d lost, and whilst he’d told you that he was happy for his brother, that he wanted nothing but the best for him, you knew this was haunting him.

Mentioning it to Dean had made him silent, and after a long while, he’d finally spoken, holding you close, but not meeting your eyes as he talked.

‘I can’t imagine what Sammy is going through.’ He admitted. 'I couldn’t…just the thought of losing you after so little time hurts. How he manages that ache after so long…’ He’d trailed off then, preferring to show you with actions rather than words.

June rolled in with a heatwave, the sun beating down on the ground relentlessly, the grass turning yellow within a few days. When the mercury was practically boiling, on an early June afternoon, Dean had pulled you from the bed, stirring you from a long sleep.

'What are you doing?’ You asked, sleepy but grinning at him, and he returned the expression, wiggling his eyebrows.

'We’re taking a shower.’ He said, pointing towards the bathroom, and your eyes widened.

'Dean, it’s the middle of the afternoon.’

'And?’ He laughed at your distress, before using his grip on your arm to propel you towards him, pressing against you gently, his excitement already in evidence against your belly. 'It’s too hot. And I’ve got an entire day with Sammy in Baby to look forward to.’

'I forgot you were leaving for a hunt.’ You pouted, allowing him to guide you into the bathroom. Stepping into the cubicle, he slapped his hand to your already naked ass, squeezing gently on impact. You shrieked and turned the water on, letting the spray hit the both of you, leaving the temperature low but not freezing.

'I can’t get over how damn lucky I am.’ He whispered, kissing a path down your neck, his chest pressed to your back. You moaned, your head back under the spray so it hit your throat., cascading over your bare breasts. It was relieving n the heat of summer, and one of Dean’s better ideas.

His thought of using Nutella in a sexy way hadn’t been so great.

His lips caressed down the line of your backbone, until he was kneeling in the shower cubicle, his hands cupping your ass and massaging. You held your hands out, palms against the tile as he pushing gently on your lower back, making you bend over so you exposed yourself to him.

'Seriously…you’re fucking beautiful.’

'Dean, shut up.’ You breathed against the tile, leaning your forehead into the cool surface. 'You’re blind.’

'Twenty twenty vision, baby.’ His hand slid from your ass round to cup your sex, his index finger teasing at the top of your folds to stroke your clit from behind. You moaned an arched a little more, giving him better access.

You’d wondered yesterday why you hadn’t come into heat yet. A little Google search had shown that your body was already getting what it needed, and you didn’t need that helpful little push towards finding your mate. Apparently one of the perks of having an Alpha was that your heats would never be as bad as they were again, and whilst you’d still have them, they’d be simply an excessive need to have him with you rather than a full blown, humping-the-bedsheets desperation.

Dean’s tongue teased at you hole and you gasped, the simple touch wiping your mind of all coherent thought. Leaning forward, he buried his face in your pussy, feasting on you whilst using his spare hand to hold you steady, knowing you were likely to collapse as he brought you to the brink. You briefly wondered how he could hold his breath so long, with his face drenched in the water from the shower, as well as being pressed between your thighs.

'Come for me, baby.’ He muttered, pulling back a little before redoubling his efforts, his tongue providing an effective rhythm as his fingers rubbed around your sensitive nub, and you cried out, bracing yourself against the wall whilst you rode out your bliss on his talented mouth.

When you were done, he stood up, cock jutting out proudly from his body and you panted heavily, turning to face him.

'Turnabout is fair play.’ You said, falling on him, not giving him a seconds warning as you engulfed his cock with your mouth. The clean taste of water mixed with the saltiness of his precum, and he yelped, clinging to the top of the shower door as you went to town on him, bobbing your head enthusiastically, noting how he angled his body to stop the water showering over you. Your ability to hold your breath was nowhere as good as his, but you could manage well enough to get him begging for release.

Swirling your tongue underneath his length, you pressed into the veins that ran along his cock, and he gritted his teeth, his jaw ticking as you kept up the pace. His knuckles were white where he held onto the shower, his head arched back as the sensation of your mouth on him drove him crazy.

'Fuck, Y/N, I’m not gonna last, I can’t….fuck….fuck….’

One of the things you loved most about Dean was when he cursed. He sounded so filthy and decadent when he did it, that you like to see how many times and variations you could get out of his. Apparently “fuck” was the word of today.

Hell, he practically screamed it as he came down your throat, his hand leaving the wall to tangle in your wet hair, his hips jerking the last vestiges of his orgasm into your mouth. Before  you let his cock go, you allowed your teeth to scrap gently over the small swell of his knot, and he hissed, pulling you up roughly to kiss you on the lips. 'You wait until later.’ He promised. 'I’m going to fuck you until you’re seeing stars.’

'I already do.’ You replied, before kissing him again.

The shower finished with Dean washing your hair, his fingers massaging your scalp decadently, and you lost yourself in just feeling him for a few moments.

When he got you back into bed, you curled into the thin sheets, feeling his hand land on your ass, where it seemed to live, and a smile lit your face.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

I loved waking up next to her. Seeing her hair fanned out over the pillow, the warmth of her skin filling the bed…I’d seen heaven and it was nowhere near this good.

When she’d pointed out that I tended to lay a hand on her ass when she slept, I’d brushed it off. But then I’d keep waking up, finding my hand in the same place. I’ve never been into cuddling, preferring my own space but _feeling_ her by my side? I guess I needed reassurance that this was real – that I could be this happy without anything going wrong.

Not that it didn’t haunt me. The possibility of the future, the worry that something was going to happen and take her from me. Right now, the future could go two ways – we could live out our lives happy, hunting without anyone getting hurt, and get the white picket fence and kids, a puppy for Sam or whatever bliss came along. I’d have to paint the fence outside Y/N’s house, because it was currently a weather-worn grey, but fuck it, whatever you have to do right?

Or the future didn’t happen.

My curse hit again.

After over thirty years of being a hell bound pessimist, it was difficult to keep myself focused on the lighter side of life. Even if it was easier when I could forget the world and hunting existed and that was damn easy when I was rolling my girl in the sheets, making her scream my name like some sort of heavenly prayer.

It didn’t stop me waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sam kept telling me to relax. I was basically living on the “fake it til you make it” motto. I was happy, I had never been happier, but being a Winchester wasn’t the key to an easy life.

Something was coming.

Something was always coming

June was relentlessly hot and by the second week, I had the idea for a cold shower. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be such a great idea to knot her in there, one of the downsides to being an Alpha. At the moment, every time I took her I couldn’t stop myself, probably because it was all so damn new, but I’d take the second best option, which was making her cum screaming on my tongue. I love the sounds she made, from that little whimper when I’m just teasing her, to the full of scream of my name when I pushed her over the edge, watching her entire body shake with the intensity of her orgasm.

She was beautiful when she came. Even more so than when she was sleeping next to me.

I could die happy right now.

After the first time we showered together, I’d put on a film, knowing it would be a while before I was ready to go again, and knowing she must be sore after the copious amounts of sex we’d been having. I was due to leave for a hunt with Sam soon, a werewolf pack ten hours away, and I didn’t want to go, but it wasn’t like I could drop the job. Y/N understood that, thankfully, even if I was struggling to accept it myself.

I was gonna make sure she knew she was mine before I left, that she knew I was hers too. This was equal to me. Fuck all that social hierarchy shit. I wasn’t any better than her because I was an Alpha; I was lesser if anything. I wasn’t worthy of her. I was so damn lucky that she even glanced at me.

Waking her up gently, when the film had finished and she was snoozing, curled up into my side, she wiped her mouth for non-existent drool before smiling at me sleepily.

'Dean?’

'I gotta go soon, sweetheart.’ I whispered and she nodded sadly, her fingers curling around my arm. 'But I wanted to…’ I didn’t even need to finish the sentence as she climbed over my body, rubbing herself against me. She slept naked, as did I, and it made for easier access when the need was fresh like this.

'Dean…’ She whimpered, thrusting her tongue into my mouth, pinning my arms with her hands as she ground her hips into me. My cock was harder than steel, twitching against the length of her wet slit, desperate to be inside her as she moved on top of me, breaking the kiss to sit up.

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, looking up at her. 'Ride me, Y/N. Wanna watch you.’ She nodded, raising her hips so that the tip of my dick slid inside her, and slowly she sat back, groaning as I bottomed out, stretching her again, before starting to move. I let her have full control, my hands roaming from her thighs up to her breasts, tweaking her nipples as she gyrated her hips to get herself off on my cock.

I rocked a little, trying to help her, but she tutted at me, using her hands to place mine fully over her breasts, encouraging me to knead them with my fingers as she groaned and rode me like a prized fucking stallion. I could feel her walls fluttering around me as she approached her peak, her pace quickening until she tightened and came hard, her fingers digging into my hands as she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

It was amazing to see her like this. She was so fucking beautiful. I could worship her if she’d let me, but I knew she wasn’t that type of girl. I would have to settle for admiring the curve of her hip into her waist, the small amount of puppy fat that she _hated_ and I loved around her midriff. She’d often complain about the size of her thighs but I’d shush her, because feeling those legs clamped around me was better than anything I’d ever feel. The way the line of her neck sloped down to her tits, and the scattered tan lines from where she spent the summer months wearing little vests and no sun screen.

I didn’t deserve this.

She collapsed forward as she finished, and I considered flipping her over and fucking her til she couldn’t walk straight. Instead, I held her close, blessing her skin with peppered kisses as I continued to move inside her, letting her relax. She moaned into my chest, raising her head to kiss my lips, but I held her close, feeling my own orgasm stir at the closeness of her touch.

'Dean….’ Her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear her. 'I love you.’

It wasn’t the first time she’d said it.

I wasn’t sure how to reply.

I loved her. There wasn’t any way I couldn’t love her. But I struggled to say the words. Saying it out loud meant it was real, meant the world knew it and that meant the world could take it away and I didn’t want to lose her because I couldn’t control myself. I never wanted to lose her.

She knew it. She knew I couldn’t say it.

She accepted it and I only loved her more.

With a grunt, I came hard, my knot swelling and pulsing inside her as I filled her with hot spunk, and she cried out, clinging to me, her body slick with sweat as we rode out our mutual orgasms. My lips pressed to her forehead and my eyes closed and I wished so hard that I didn’t have to leave her side.

By midnight, I was watching her house get smaller in the rear view mirror, and I knew I’d left part of myself behind for a stupid hunt. Sam knew it too, and kept quiet in the passenger seat.

I’d be home soon.


	8. July

**July**

_Reader’s POV_

Dean returned quickly from his hunt, to the point that Sam complained they may not have made it back alive if he’d carried on abusing Baby’s gas pedal. The older Winchester had brushed it off and taken you straight up to your room, ignoring his brother’s rolling eyes.

It was nice, having him home again, close again. Despite it being less than four days since you’d last seen him, everything was so new, so fresh, it was a relief to be with him. Dean felt it too and it wasn’t long before he had you naked and screaming his name on your bed. You’d heard the front door slam at some point and felt badly for Sam.

But then Dean made you forget everything but his name again and it wasn’t long before you were both asleep in post-coital bliss, Dean’s hand on your ass where it belonged.

July came, hotter than June had even thought of being, and as the weeks rolled by, you and the Winchester brothers fell into a comfortable routine. Garth was around more often than not, and you and Dean tried to keep your public displays of affection to a minimum around Sam. He constantly said he didn’t mind, but you knew it would remind him of everything he’d lost.

You wished he could find someone else to try and ease that pain.

It was coming up to mid-July when Dean and Sam had to go four states over for a case. You’d pouted, hating that he was going so far, but not standing in his way. This was the life, this was the way it went, and whilst it scared you every single time, you knew he’d come back to you.

He told you enough.

You’d given him something to live for.

Two weeks was a long stretch without Dean, but you weren’t due a heat, and Garth was staying, not at Dean’s insistence in the slightest. But you’d have company and there was a few research issues that were needed for other hunters around the States. Garth had taken to doing Bobby’s job, and he was using your house as home base a lot of the time. You quite frequently heard him answering calls, pretending to be an FBI agent, or head of department or something else, and his professionalism made you smile. He was such a sweet guy.

The night before Dean left, he’d asked if you’d go out with him, and you’d been hesitant at first. He’d booked a table at a restaurant in town, and you’d been very reluctant, knowing the small community would gossip. But eventually, he’d convinced you, even getting you to put on that little black dress you’d bought in an internet sale _forever_ ago and never worn.

As you swept down the stairs, he’d stood at the bottom, wearing his best black button down, freshly ironed if you weren’t mistaken, and clean boots for a change. He’d done something with his hair and had a shave, and you smiled, running your hand down his smooth cheek as you reached the bottom of the stairs.

‘I think I preferred the scruff.’ You commented and he shrugged.

'It’ll grow back soon enough.’ He muttered, smiling and catching your hand, bringing your palm to his lips for a soft kiss. 'I’ll have a five o'clock shadow by the time the night is out.’ His grin was wide, and his arm slipped around your waist to pull you in for a deep kiss. It held all the promise of the night to come and you shivered, resisting the urge to just pull him back up the stairs to your room.

A flash made you break apart and you both glared over at Garth in the doorway, a polaroid camera in his hands, and a goofy smile on his face. 'Sorry, I just had to capture the moment. You two are the sweetest, ya know that?’

'Shut up, Garth.’ Dean growled, and you slapped his shoulder.

'It’s nice. I like photos. Proper ones, not all the crap you upload to Instagram.’

'Insta-what?’ Dean asked, frowning as Garth snapped another photo, pulling the slip of paper from the camera to shake it as it developed.

'Can we get a nice one? Where we’re not eating face or making faces?’ You asked and Dean rolled his eyes before nodded, turning to face Garth, his arm hooked around your waist and your cheek laying gently on his shoulder. Garth was more than happy to play cameraman for a few more seconds, and snapped you both, pulling the photo out and shaking it.

He held it up and smiled as you snatched it from his hands. 'You look adorable.’

Dean grumbled in protest at the choice of description, but you stood, holding the photo in your hand and smiling at it. He peered over your shoulder, making a noise of agreement in his throat. 'We do make a good couple.’ He muttered, before taking the photo from you and tilting your chin upwards. 'We’re gonna miss our reservations.’

'Okay. Put this somewhere safe, Garth.’ You took the photo back and handed it to the other hunter with a smile. 'We’ll see you in the morning.’

'Not a worry. You two have fun!’

*****

'This is weird.’ You said quietly, spooning a forkful of lasagne into your mouth. You were convinced everyone was watching you, but Dean just sniggered and quietly picked at his chips. 'I’ve never eaten in here before. I know half these people.’

'They don’t care that you’re here, Y/N.’

'What if they do? Everyone gossips in this town. I’m the unmated Omega from outside of the town limit. The weird one that has people turning up covered in blood at her house all the time.’

Dean raised an eyebrow, reaching across the table to take your hand. 'You’re not unmated anymore, are you sweetheart?’ You smiled, the warmth from his hand spreading through your body.

'No. No, I’m not.’

He nodded, letting go of your hand to spear his steak, chowing down on it with great enthusiasm. 'I tell you what though, this steak is good. I’m surprised you’ve never been here.’

You shrugged. 'I don’t spend a whole lot of time in town. I get what I need and leave.’ You shuddered. 'Having to go to school here was a nightmare. With what my dad did…’ You shook your head. 'I was always the freak girl with the knife collection.’ Dean froze and you looked up, frowning at him. 'What?’

'Nothing.’ He shook his head. 'Just…I knew someone else that said that once. She was a lot like you. Brave. Stupid in the end.’

'What do you mean?’ You asked, dropping your knife and fork to the plate, finished with your main course.

Dean didn’t look you in the eye as he spoke. 'She followed me into a fight I knew we wouldn’t win. Got herself ripped apart by a hellhound. My fault.’

'Jo.’ You whispered and he nodded. 'You’re talking about Jo Harvelle.’ He didn’t speak again but you felt compelled to. 'I knew her. A little. Both hunters kids. We talked some, back in the day. I heard when she died and…Dean, it wasn’t your fault. She _chose_ to go into that fight. She was doing it for the right reasons.’ You reached out, offering your hand as he had done moments ago. 'Dean, you can’t keep blaming yourself for all the things that happened in the past.’

He didn’t reply, pushing his plate back, before squeezing your hand gently. 'You see too much good in me, Y/N.’

'You don’t see enough.’ You replied simply, shrugging at him, before leaning forward to change the subject. 'How about we get the dessert to go?’

*****

_Dean’s POV_

I don’t know how she brings it out of me, but Y/N has this way of…making me feel like I’m not at fault any more. She makes me a better person. Which makes me feel worse somehow because I’m dragging her down. I’m not worthy of her. Never will be.

I’m lucky enough that she doesn’t believe that. And selfish enough to stay.

Her suggestion of getting dessert to go was the best thing she could have said at the moment. Sometimes, when I’m sad, being with her…being intimate with her makes it better, as bad as that sounds. Right now, all I wanted to do was be wrapped up in my Omega’s arms, safe from the world. Everyone always says that the Alpha is the protective one, that the Alpha is the strongest…but she’s so much stronger than me. She’s my safe-house. Without her…fuck, I’d have nothing to live for at this rate.

I’d always have Sam, but it’s different. He knows that.

Baby wasn’t going fast enough as Y/N nibbled on my ear from the passenger seat, her heat palpable in the car. My cock was straining against the buttons of my dress pants, and I was half ready to park the car up and take her right there.

Back seat wasn’t the most comfortable place to be stuck in a knot though, and I didn’t want that for her. Despite the warm night, I wanted her in her – our – bed, safe and cosy.

When we eventually pulled up to the driveway of her house, I couldn’t get her out the car quick enough. I scooped her up in my arms, carrying her bridal style over the threshold and up to the bedroom. She’s tell me later on that it was romantic, and I’d reply that I’d do it again when we were properly married. I’d never see shock on her face like that.

But I did want to marry her. Hell, I’d already mated her, so marriage was the next logical step. We’d worry about what came next later on.

At that point, all I cared about was losing myself in her and letting her do the same.

She was already wet when I pulled that little dress off her body, her panties soaked through with slick. She was handsy too, grabbing at my shirt, breaking a few buttons in her eagerness to remove it from my body. Not that I was going to complain; it was sexy as hell when she was demanding like that.

We skipped the foreplay, neither of us in the mood to do anything but fuck, and she screamed when I pushed into her wet cunt, her mouth forming a perfect “o” of pleasure. I wasn’t even sure I could last more than five seconds, the way she was bearing down on me, squeezing my cock with her walls.

Within moments, I’d brought her off, my lips swallowing down her cries of pleasure as I kept rocking into her, my thumb teasing her clit. I love making her come, watching her writhe underneath me. Or on top. I had no preference as long as it was always her. She was beautiful when she lost control.

'Y/N.’ I gasped, feeling my own climax approaching and I pounded into her harder, desperate for those last moments of friction before my cock swelled and I wasn’t able to move. I still hadn’t gotten used to the sensation of that happening – she was the first and last Omega I’d ever knot – but fuck, it felt good to be so _connected_ to someone I loved.

Y/N came again as I did, clutching at my shoulders, leaving nail marks on my skin, and I took everything she had to give, biting at her neck, hard enough to leave marks. It only made her whimper more, and when I was finally finished pumping into her, she relaxed, letting me roll with her and pull her into my arms.

I had to leave in the morning.

And there was a pit of dread in my stomach.

'I love you.’ I whispered, knowing she was already asleep.

I’m such a fucking coward.

*****

_Reader’s POV_

He was coming home early. Another six hours and he’d be home, and you couldn’t wait. You were practically bouncing with excitement at the news you had to share with him.

Garth had popped out to get some supplies for dinner, and he was just as happy to have the guys home. He didn’t quite know why you were so excited, or why you’d cleaned the house from top to bottom, seeing as neither Dean nor Sam gave a flying toss about that sort of thing, but he wasn’t going to argue with it.

At about four in the afternoon, there was a knock at the door and you frowned – both the Winchesters and Garth had keys. Unless Garth was carrying so much he couldn’t unlock the door. Skipping over to it, you opened it, pausing when you saw a brunette woman you didn’t recognise on the other side.

She smiled sweetly. 'Hi. Y/N, right?’ Her accent was crisp and more European than American.

You frowned. 'Yeah. Can I help you?’

'I’m a friend of Dean and Sam’s. Hunters.’ You looked her over. She wasn’t dressed like a hunter – in fact, she looked more like she was into selling real estate. 'I’m a clairvoyant, honey, I don’t get my hands dirty.’ You accepted that explanation, but it didn’t mean you trusted her. 'But I’ve got some information for them, and the grapevine suggested he might be here? With you?’

You narrowed your eyes. 'Grapevine?’

She laughed, not an unpleasant sound and you relaxed a little. 'Oh sweetheart, when Dean Winchester is in love, the cosmos knows it. And I knew it too. Besides, every hunter points to you as a safe-house. You’re quite the well known party.’

'That’s probably not a good thing.’ You muttered, opening the door a little wider. 'Well, if you’re as up on the information as you say you are, you won’t mind going through the usual drill.’

She nodded. 'Of course not.’

You reached behind the door and picked up a vial of holy water you kept for this very reason, and she held out her arm. You splashed her with the water, and were satisfied with the lack of steam. 'You can come in, but I’ve got a silver knife on my person and I will use it.’

'Don’t worry, sweetheart. Not here to hurt you.’ She smiled. 'I’m Natalia, by the way.’

'Y/N.’ You said, watching her walk into the house, shutting the door behind her. 'But…you already knew that. Can I get you a coffee or anything?’

'That would be lovely. I’m assuming Dean’s not going to be long then?’ She asked, following you into the kitchen.

'No, he’s on his way home.’ You blushed a little, that you thought of this as his home. 'Should be back soon. He doesn’t tend to hang around on cases any more.’

Natalia smiled warmly. 'Ah, the bonded Alpha male. They’re sweet, aren’t they?’

You nodded, smiling yourself. 'Yeah. Dean’s a bit of a softy underneath all that bravado. So -’ You flicked the kettle on. 'What was the information you had?’

'It’s about that monster he was fighting a while ago. It had company and I know where to find them.’ She seemed legit and you started to relax around her. 'We need to get the boys to take out the other parties before they try and finish what the original started.’

'Oh right.’ The name of the monster escaped you at this moment, but you focused instead on making the coffee. 'Well, that’s good then, that you knew that.’ You poured out a cup of coffee, asking her if she took milk and sugar, which she didn’t. She accepted the cup gratefully, then frowned.

'Are you not having one?’

'No…er….I gave up.’ You replied, thinking quickly. A knowing look passed over her face.

'I’ve been meaning to. Sometimes I can’t function without it though!’ That tittering laugh sounded again and you smiled, before gesturing to the living room.

'How about we sit somewhere a little more comfortable?’

*****

_Dean’s POV_

That dread in the pit of my stomach never moved, the entire time was I away from her. When we finished the case early, I’d been more than eager to get home.

It was getting dark as we drove down the long road toward Y/N’s, and I frowned when I saw a car in the ditch up ahead, lights flashing. Sam saw it too and we quickly stopped, not ones to pass someone in trouble.

When we saw it was Garth, unconscious at the wheel of his battered old pick up, the dread in my stomach turned to all consuming fear.

With the smaller man safely in the backseat, his car locked up to be retrieved later, we sped back to Y/N’s house. From the outside it seemed clear; the lights were on downstairs, casting an eerie glow across the lawn. Leaving Sam to deal with Garth, I sprinted across the driveway, bursting in through the front door to find Y/N sat on the sofa with a taller brunette, who smiled up at me as I walked in.

'Dean!’ Y/N got up, smiling as she approached me. I was relieved to see she was fine, but still on edge with a stranger in the room. 'This is Natalia. She’s been waiting for you to get back.’

'Natalia?’ He said. 'Never heard of you.’

'Oh, but I’ve heard of you, Dean Winchester. Too much, one might say.’ She winked, standing from her seat, putting down the coffee mug she’d held in her hand. Y/N planted a kiss on my cheek.

'She’s got some information about that monster you and Sam were chasing a few months ago. The Lin…Lin…dammit what was the name of that thing?’ She shook her head, still smiling. 'Anyway, she said it wasn’t working alone and -’

'That enough of that.’ Natalia said, holding up her hand and Y/N froze, a strangled yelp coming from her throat. I immediately went on the attack, drawing my gun, reaching out to Y/N but Natalia laughed, a clipped and irritating noise. 'Y/N is sweet. She’s been very accommodating.’

'Let her go.’

'No.’ She grinned. 'I’ve got some business with you, Dean, and she’s an integral part of it.’ She walked forward, and my eyes shot to Y/N, seeing the fear in them. I heard Sam and Garth approaching the house, and obviously the witch – as it appeared she was – heard it too. Her other hand came up, and seconds later, Sammy was banging at the door yelling for me. 'They, are not.’

'Who the fuck are you?’ I growled out, my finger itchy on the trigger. The bullets wouldn’t kill her but they might be enough to wound her and get Y/N free.

'You fire that gun, and I’ll be the woman who murdered your mate.’ Natalia grinned, her gleaming white teeth giving her an almost ethereal look. Her dark hair fanned around her face, and I narrowed my eyes further, my target in my sights. 'And my name is Natalia. She already told you that.’

'Means nothing to me.’ My voice was raw with anger and she smiled even wider. I didn’t recognise her in the slightest, and I didn’t usually leave witches alive.

'You never met me.’ She said, flicking her hair back. 'But you met my sister. About six years ago.’ Her eyes flashed. 'You killed her.’

'It’s what I do, sweetheart.’ My front was all bravado, but my chest was in an icy tight grip. If she was here for revenge, there was no telling what she would do. Sam’s thumping on the door continued, Garth’s voice echoing in the background. 'What do you want?’

'Oh, sweet Dean. I want you to feel like I felt.’ She moved a little closer, her fingers clenching the air as Y/N gave a small moan. 'I loved my sister. Dearly. But when she died, it hurt so much, because I couldn’t stop loving her.’ Natalia grinned wickedly. 'I’m not going to hurt Y/N. But _you_ are going to suffer.’ Y/N’s eyes drifted closed and I started to panic. The witch said she wouldn’t hurt her, but I wasn’t going to believe her for a second.

'Let her go. Do what you want with me.’ I sounded desperate and was fully aware of that fact.

So was Natalia. She laughed loudly. 'She’s going to sleep, Dean. For a very long time. Nothing will help her.’

'So you’re pulling a Sleeping Beauty on us?’ I scoffed, my reflexive humour coming out to cover up the bone chilling fear I felt. 'Original.’

'Oh no. No true loves kiss, or anything quite so poetic.’ Natalia’s grin was demonic now, her lips stretched back so far I could see her gums. Her skin had taken on an almost bluish grey tone, as if whatever glamour she’d used to appear normal was fading. 'In order for Y/N to wake up, you’ll have to stop loving her, Dean. And being her Alpha, that’s almost impossible isn’t it? You couldn’t ever love anyone more than her.’ My blood froze in my veins.

'Don’t…’ I whispered. 'Please…’ _MY fault. My fault. Please don’t take her._

Natalia laughed again, and I felt sick. 'I waited so long, Dean. So long for you to fall in love so I could hurt you. Your brother wasn’t quite enough – you two seem to survive without each other, so I knew it would make you angry but this? Seeing your mate, the one being you would be nothing without, locked in sleep where she can’t even dream?’ She threw her head back, cackling like the witch she was. 'It was perfect. And then I got here and it was more than I had ever imagined. The mate….’ She lowered her voice, her eyes driving into mine like a drill into my skull. 'And the pup.’

The weight that had been suffocating my chest dropped into my stomach and I wanted to vomit. Y/N had been so excited on the phone when I spoke to her. So happy, saying she had something to tell me but wanted to tell me when I got home.

She was pregnant.

And I hadn’t protected her.

'Remember, Dean. If you ever want her to open her eyes again…’ Natalia smirked. 'You’d better start killing off those feelings. Of course…’ She released her hold on Y/N, letting her fall to the floor in a crumpled heap before I could reach her. 'I wouldn’t expect you to manage it. You can suffer like I have.’

I held my gun up, pulling the trigger, but the bullet hit air before slamming into a painting the other side of the room.

The front door burst open, Sam and Garth tumbling in. Both of them skidded to a halt in the living room doorway, horror on their faces.

I wasn’t even aware of the tears streaming down my face as I held her close. She was breathing, but she was cold and so still. Sam’s hand on my shoulder went unregistered in my mind.

I had done this.

This was my fault.

 


	9. August

**August**

_Dean’s POV_

I’d taken the decision after a few days to take Y/N to hospital. We didn’t use the closest one, instead leaving Garth at the house to keep it running, and heading back to Kansas. The hospital we chose was close to the bunker, not that I had any intention of going home, and enabled us to keep…working.

Sam thought it would keep my mind working.

I didn’t care.

The minute she’d hit the ground, I’d felt bereft and broken. And guilty. I should never have gotten close, never mated her. This was my fault. The witch wanted revenge on me and Y/N had just been a pawn.

Now my child was her pawn as well.

The doctors were puzzled, but of course we couldn’t tell them the truth. After days of waiting for her to wake up, figuring out how to get water and food into her, I’d realised that I’d probably end up with her dead if she wasn’t monitored around the clock. There were things I couldn’t do for her that a hospital could.

They tested her a million different ways; no brain damage, no wounds, no injuries beyond the old scars she bore. They asked me a thousand questions about her health, her history, the scar on her neck. I gave them everything they wanted and more. Anything to try and help.

It didn’t do anything. A week into August and it was raining hard outside. I couldn’t help but feel like it was reflecting my feelings. It’d never be sunny again as far as I was concerned.

The only way to save her was to stop loving her.

And I couldn’t do that.

Charlie turned up a few days into her stay at the hospital, just as they were preparing to do an ultrasound to check on the status of the baby. They’d been informed she was an Omega, and even though we weren’t married, as her Alpha, I was her next of kin, and allowed to stay at all hours. Sam had to leave on occasion, bringing me clean clothes and food – not that I ate anything – and he had called the red headed nerd as back up to keep me company. I managed a few grunts at her, but I was grateful.

She was there when the nice nurse from OB/GYN did the ultrasound. She gasped as I sat in stunned silence when the nurse delivered the news that Y/N wasn’t just carrying one baby. That I was gonna have two pups.

I couldn’t stop crying after that.

She’d given me the most precious gift I could ever imagine and I was sat here, guilty of bringing death to her doorstep. She might still be breathing, but she wouldn’t wake up. She couldn’t experience the things she’d wanted to experience. She didn’t even _know_ of the precious cargo she was carrying.

Sixteen weeks gone. She wasn’t showing. The nurse explained that the babies were healthy, but they couldn’t tell the sex yet. She told me her name and that she’d been handling Y/N’s case, as she’d had experience with difficult pregnancies before, especially with Omega mother. I think she might have been an Omega, but my senses were dulled.

Charlie thanked her, and the only thing I noticed was the look of pity she gave me.

*****

_Sam’s POV_

It was the middle of August when I convinced Dean to take a trip back to the bunker with Charlie. He was losing weight, losing interest in anything. He was lost, and I knew that the only way to help him was to force him back into life. It was a fight, but he finally relented, on my promise to not leave Y/N’s side.

I was there for a few hours when the nurse came in, almost falling asleep in the armchair by the bed, the steady beep-beep of the monitors and Y/N’s soft breathing sending me right off.

The nurse crept in, but I woke immediately, years of training too much to ignore. She smiled at me, and I stared, a little dumbfounded. I think she assumed I was just a little sloppy from having just woken up. But it wasn’t that at all.

‘I’m Sam.’

'Ah, Dean’s brother. Yeah, he’s talked about you.’ She smiled again, checking over the stats. Pulling out a stethoscope, she started to check Y/N over, paying special attention to her barely visible baby bump under the hospital gown. 'I’m Caitlin, by the way. The OBGYN nurse assigned to Y/N’s case.’

I nodded, watching as she worked. 'Did you need me to leave?’

'No, no. Just checking her over for the day. Did Dean leave?’

'He went home for a rest.’

Caitlin threw her head back, a cascade of dark blonde over her shoulder. The movement sent a waft of her scent my way and I froze in the chair, my fingers gripping the arms until they were white at the knuckles. She didn’t seem to notice, carrying on with her duties.

'About time.’ She said quietly. 'He’s very….broody. Mind you, I can’t blame him. It’s sweet to see an Alpha so devoted. You’d be surprised how many I’ve seen completely abandon their mates in their time of need.’

I nodded, gritting my teeth. 'Yeah, he’s….he blames himself.’ Caitlin frowned, and I realised how that sounded. 'He feels like he should have been there to stop whatever caused this. Even though…sometimes it doesn’t work that way.’

'No. It doesn’t. Sometimes nature is cruel. But there’s hope. No one’s written her off.’ She finished scribbling on the notes at the bottom of Y/N’s bed, before smiling over at me. I tried to ignore the growing arousal in my lower belly. How did she not feel this? 'Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again, Sam.’

She left the room and I sighed, sinking down into the chair.

How the hell could this happen? After all this time, and in this place, right here…I hadn’t felt like this since I’d seen Jess across the quad at Stanford.

Caitlin, the nice OBGYN nurse assigned to my brother’s mate, was an Omega.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

'So, twins huh?’ Charlie tried to break the tension in the car and I blinked, looking over at her. I wasn’t even sure if I was paying attention to the road at this point.

'Yeah. Twins.’ I muttered and she smiled, reaching over to touch my knee. My body recoiled at any other human touching me, even though logically I knew that Charlie was a Beta _and_ a lesbian. Still…it made me feel wrong.

'She’s gonna pull through this, Dean.’

'The witch -’ I spat the words, feeling rage boil in my veins. It was the first time I’d felt anything but _numb_ for days. I couldn’t even be happy at the thought of the pups growing in my mate. Because she wasn’t awake to experience it. 'She said that the only way that will happen is to stop loving her.’

'Sam said as much.’ Charlie replied quietly. 'And that’s not going to happen, is it? I mean, I’m only a Beta but…it’s written all over you, Dean.’

'Then I’ll have to kill her.’ I growled.

'The witch?’ Charlie asked, and I nodded in affirmation. 'Well, there’s something I can help with. I can track her down. We’ll gank the bitch and reverse the spell, right?’ I nodded, wishing it were that easy, but who could tell if that would work. Still, capturing Natalia and torturing her for a bit definitely would help.

'I’m planning on it.’ I said quietly, pulling the car into the driveway of the bunker, making my mind up as Charlie climbed from Baby’s front seat. Following her into the bunker, I dropped my duffel on the table, starting to collect various weapons from around the room. She looked at me in confusion, and I kept focused on what I was doing, starting to speak firmly. 'You’re gonna get your laptop and go back to the hospital. Call Garth. See what we can find out. Me and Sam are gonna find the bitch and torture her until she fixes this.’ I glanced up, seeing the bewilderment on her face.

'Dean, I don’t -’

'Look, I’ve been sat in that hospital for nearly three weeks, watching my mate lay there like a fucking corpse!’ I was screaming and I didn’t care. 'I’ve gotta do _something_ , Charlie! I can’t just watch her die!’

'She’s not dying!’

'How long before that happens?’ I was hysterical, tears running down my face and I didn’t care. I wanted blood. Something _angry_ had awoken inside me and I was going to do what I did best. I was going to hunt things and kill them. There was only one person I cared about saving now.

Charlie didn’t argue with me further, watching as I packed my bag for the road. I entrusted her with the key to the bunker, and drove her back to the hospital. Sam tried to argue the point, but when I said I’d leave without him, he followed. I heard him promise Charlie that we’d be back soon.

I knew I would be. I was going to find Natalia and rip her fucking spine out.

*****

_Sam’s POV_

Dean was out for blood. I’d seen this attitude before, and it scared me. Anyone who wasn’t scared didn’t have a brain cell to work with. Dean was downright dangerous when he was hurting, and right now he was an Alpha with a wounded mate, and endangered pups. That was pretty much the most dangerous animal you could face.

Fighting with him was less preferable to taking on a grizzly bear.

I didn’t mention the OBGYN nurse. I know Dean had met her, and part of me, the selfish part, wanted to talk to my brother about it. But I knew right now he wouldn’t care. I felt bad, that in the midst of all this, I felt like I’d met someone…even if she hadn’t even slightly acknowledged it. A man could dream though, right? And it was good to hold onto something positive…

Although Dean wouldn’t see it that way.

'So, what’s the plan again?’ I asked, desperate to break the tension.

'Find Natalia.’ He spat her name like it was poison. 'Make her reverse the spell. Kill her. Slowly and fucking painfully.’

 _Wow_. 'Okay. And do we know where she is?’

He hesitated. _That would be a no_. I frowned and he glared at me out of the corner of his eye, keeping his main focus on the wet road ahead. It didn’t normally rain this hard in August – but the road were almost flooding. 'I don’t. Charlie and Garth are working on it.’

I didn’t say anything else after that, letting him seethe quietly as he drove. Leaning my head against the window, I let my thoughts drift, automatically going to Jess, before Caitlin’s face jumped into my mind. Somehow, I thought Jess might have liked her.

I certainly did.

When I woke up, a few hours later, Dean was pulling into a motel. He looked beat, but I wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t slept well in weeks. 'Where are we?’

'Just the other side of the Colorado border.’ He replied. We’d made some distance then. I looked down, just checking I was alive and we hadn’t been involved in a horrible accident. 'I need sleep. Nearly came off the road a couple miles back.’ He grinned, but it didn’t reach his almost dead eyes. 'You were out cold, princess.’

'Thanks.’ I stretched and yawned, letting him climb from the car before I followed. He went to the office to get a room as I grabbed our stuff from the boot. Dean sauntered from the office, taking his bag from my hand and pointing towards room number 3.

'Last twin they had.’

I nodded, feeling like I needed a shower, and I followed him to the room, watching as he threw himself onto the bed fully clothed. Moving past him, I went straight to shower, making it as hot as I could. Thirty minutes later, I felt cleansed and refreshed, not ready to sleep more. Deciding on contacting Charlie and Garth to see if they’d dug anything up, I left the bathroom fully dressed.

Dean was snoring on his side, and I walked around to check on him. His face was red and puffy, tears track streaked down his face. One hand was fisted in the blankets underneath him – he’d never bothered to get dressed. His other hand was clutching what looked like a Polaroid photo and I moved closer, frowning as I bent my head to get a better look in the dim light.

It was the photo Garth had taken the night before we left on that last hunt. Y/N was dressed up, Dean too and they were smiling at the camera, her head bent a slight angle where she rested on his shoulder. They looked so happy.

It was so fucking unfair.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

A week of searching and nothing. I’d contacted Crowley, and Charlie and Garth were on it, spreading the word through every network they knew, searching for the brunette witch. But I didn’t even know if what I saw was her true face.

I fucking hated witches anyway and now I wanted them all dead.

We’d killed more monsters than I’d faced in a month in the last week, looking for any sign of the bitch. But nothing came up. August was coming to a close when Charlie called and asked us to come back to Kansas, that the doctors needed to speak to me.

I’d driven like a bat out of hell. If something worse was happening…I couldn’t deal with that.

When I got there, the doctor on call wasn’t Y/N’s usual doctor, but that nurse, Caitlin, the one my brother was sniffing after (and thought I hadn’t noticed) was there. She’d quickly assured me that nothing was wrong, that Y/N was just slipping into a deeper coma than they’d expected, her brain activity lessening. It happened sometimes but wasn’t a threat to the babies. I’d heaved a sigh of relief, and pretended not to notice the shared looks between the blonde nurse and my brother.

I wanted to be happy for him but I couldn’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

I’d resumed my place at Y/N’s side, taking her hand, talking to her about what I was trying to do. The entire time, I watched her face, hoping for a twitch, a flicker – anything to indicate she was in there.

But there was nothing.

What else could I do but break again?


	10. September

**September**

_Dean’s POV_

‘You should ask her out.’ I said quietly, not even looking at Sam across the room. They’d brought in a cot for me, seeing as I’d refused to leave Y/N’s side, except when someone provided me with a lead that might get me Natalia’s head on a platter. Even then, in the last month, it had only been two or three times I’d left, and I’d only go if Charlie or Sam were here to watch over her.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had a fucking shave. She’d probably love this beard I had going.

Sam made a noise at me, having not heard, looking over his stupidly thick book. 'What was that?’

'Caitlin.’ I motioned to the door. 'The pretty Omega nurse you’ve been slobbering over every day for a month. Hell, dude, even I’m getting embarrassed now. Just go…make a move or something.’ I felt a little drop in my chest. 'Don’t feel like you should hold back on my account.’

'Dean, I -’

'Look, you were there man, you were there the whole time when I should have been more considerate. Parading this around in front of you when I knew you’d lost Jess.’ I sighed, knowing he was probably thinking I was an idiot.

'You’re an idiot.’ _Bingo_. 'And…I’m going to. Just…don’t quite know how.’ His voice lowered to an ashamed mumble and I felt a smile cracking my cheeks. It had been a while since they’d done that.

'Yeah, I felt like that. Do you think…she might be…’

Sam shrugged, putting his book down. 'I don’t know. I mean, I like her. A lot. A hell of a lot. And there’s something about her that just makes me feel – I dunno -’

'Primal?’ I interjected, knowing exactly what he meant.

'Me and Jess were real mates, Dean. I don’t think it’s possible to have that again.’

I shook my head. 'So you’re not even gonna try?’ I felt a little angry at him for that.

'I didn’t say that.’ Sam said, slowly, almost sensing my irritation. 'And I am.’ The door clicked open. 'I’ll talk to her later, yeah?’ I sat up straight as two doctors entered, one being Y/N’s usual doctor, Dr Porter and the other being someone I’d not seen before. Dr Porter smiled, the wrinkles on his forehead almost tripling.

'Mr Winchester. This is Dr Osgood.’ The new doctor nodded, and I looked him up and down, assessing him. He looked like a dick. 'He is one of our neurology consultants and he’s been having a look at some of Y/N’s scans.’ I did _not_ like the sound of that.

'Mr Winchester.’ Dr Douchebag started – I liked that name better – and his voice grated. 'Mrs Winchester’s -’

'We’re not married.’ I said. 'And her name is Y/N.’ She hated being formal. She’d hate this guy to hell and back.

'Y/N -’ Dr Douchebag said her name haltingly, as if it were below him, and I subtly sniffed the air. Alpha doctor. Great. Probably thinks the worst of any Omega. 'Her body is under a great deal of stress in the coma. With the drop in her brain activity -’ He was referring to the two drops in the last four weeks. I’d only been there for the second, and it had terrified me. 'We are concerned that the pregnancy is taking an unnecessary toll on her body.’

Sam stood up, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Dr Porter looked at his colleague worryingly. Dr Douchebag scratched his nose and carried on speaking.

'It would be advisable, in her condition, if we aborted the fetuses until -’

He didn’t finish his sentence. I had him against the wall, my teeth inches from his neck, bared and growling like an animal. Red filled my vision, and my hand tightened around his throat, intent on squeezing the life out of him. Shouts of “Mr Winchester” and “Dean” filled my ears along with the ringing of murderous thoughts in my own mind.

He was almost blue when Sam pulled me off, holding me back as I thrashed against him. Dr Porter was helping the collapsed doctor to his feet, the latter holding his bruised neck as I screamed at him. He left the room abruptly, with Dr Porter shaking his head.

'I told him not to suggest it. I told my superior it was a bad idea. But they both thought it would be easier…I am so sorry, Mr Winchester.’

'You should go.’ Sam said, not menacingly, but he was still pinning my arms to my side. I was practically foaming at the mouth, ready to rip Dr Douchebag apart for even suggesting that I kill my children.

Fuck the coma.

Fuck that fucking witch.

Y/N wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want her pups killed because it _might_ help. She’d hate me if I even thought about doing it.

I stop fighting against my brother and fall to her bedside, my left hand taking hers and the other laying over her now swollen belly. They’re growing fast – she’s almost 24 weeks now. Caitlin said they’d be doing another ultrasound this week and I’d be able to know the sex.

I wish Y/N could be here to see all this, to experience with me. The doctors and Sam tell me that coma patients can hear their surroundings…but this isn’t a normal coma. Natalia said she wouldn’t dream. For her…it might just be endless blackness, trapped in her head without anything to focus on.

It’s like a living death.

My resolve to find the witch strengthens. Along with my intentions to rip her into shreds.

*****

_Sam’s POV_

I needed a distraction. Dean had fallen asleep at Y/N’s bedside, so I took the opportunity to leave the room, knowing Charlie would be back soon. The doctor who’d made the stupid suggestion to him was at the nurses’ station, and they were all giving him a wide berth. His neck was a mass of purple and black, and I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied.

Stupid dick.

You don’t threaten an Alpha’s pups in front of him; born or not. Dean acted exactly as any Alpha would. Apparently the nurses, most of whom were Betas, understood this. They gave a few nods in my direction, meant in solidarity.

It didn’t hurt that Dean had charmed half the women on the wing into giving his mate the best care possible. I envied him sometimes.

Caitlin was coming out of the staff room when I was walking down the corridor towards the coffee machine, and I almost hid. _Almost_. God, I felt like a teenager around her, and it was highly embarrassing. She spotted me almost immediately and smiled, and I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat.

Maybe Dean was right all those years ago. I am a sickening romantic.

'Hey, Sam.’ She waved, stopping and waiting for me. 'Rumours are going around that your brother beat up Dr Osgood.’

'He didn’t…beat him up. Bruised him a little.’ I grinned. 'But he had it coming.’

'Dr Porter warned him and the Chief that it was a bad idea. I did too, but they thought they had to present all the options.’ She fell into a gait beside me, and I found myself draw to her pretty green eyes. She was stunning – curves in all the right places, gorgeous shoulder length hair. I had to fight to keep my attention on what she was saying.

'Well, obviously they forgot how protective Alphas can be. And Dean’s pretty protective anyway so…’ My grin faded and nerves swelled in my stomach. God, I was working myself up too much over this. 'I just wanted to, er, wanted to ask -’ I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. What if she was already with someone? Didn’t mean she had to be claimed. She could be with a Beta, or her Alpha might be waiting or -

'Sam?’ She asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I’d stopped walking as she was facing me now, her chin level with my chest. 'I finish at six today.’ She smiled. 'And I would love to go for a drink with you.’

I heaved a sigh, glad she’d seized the initiative there. 'Six. Okay. I’ll probably be in Y/N’s room.’

'Won’t Dean -’

I shook my head. 'He pretty much told me to do it before he hit me. Or something like that.’ She giggled and it was the most wonderful sound in the world. Fuck, I was in deep. 'So, six. I’ll see you then.’ I smiled and she nodded, moving back a foot or so before freezing. She stepped back towards me, reaching up on her tiptoes and kissed me softly on the lips. She tasted like cherry lipbalm and coffee.

When I got back to Y/N’s room, I was bright red.

 

*****

_Dean’s POV_

My phone woke me up, vibrating in my jeans pocket. I read the text quickly, wiping my face of the sleep I’d not enjoyed. Nightmares were hitting me more frequently these days, mostly of Y/N suffering, or of losing…

I couldn’t even think it.

The message was from Garth and he had a possible lead. He was on his way to check it out and would let me know if it was solid. In the meantime, I was sat here, on my own. Sam had left with Caitlin for a date, and whilst part of me was happy for him, a small part of me resented anyone getting on with their lives when mine was laying in a hospital bed, unresponsive to the world.

I pressed my hand against Y/N’s belly, marvelling at the swell of it. We’d done that. We’d made those little people growing in there. She’d be so excited.

They were doing a scan tomorrow to find out the sex. I couldn’t bring myself to look forward to it. But my nightmares had given me an idea.

'Cas?’ I called out to the silent room. 'Cas, could you…could you come down here?’

The flutter of wings sounded a few moments later, and he approached the other side of the bed. I hadn’t seen him for a while, but knew he’d tried to find Natalia too.

'Dean.’ He greeted, in that gruff tone of his. He took Y/N’s hand – they’d only met a few times, and the last time he’d been here, he’d tried to heal her, with no luck. 'The babies are healthy.’ He said, smiling over at me. I didn’t smile back. 'Is everything okay?’

'I need…’ I started again, pinching the bridge of my nose. 'I need you to help me with something.’

'I already tried to heal her, Dean. I cannot -’

'No. Not that.’ It felt like there was a stone lodged in my throat; what I was about to ask him to do was not what I wanted but if it worked… 'I need you to wipe my memory. Take all of it away. So I don’t remember her.’

Castiel stared at me, those stupid blue eyes full of more emotion than I could muster right now. He looked down at Y/N, still holding her hand, before shaking his head. 'It would not work, Dean.’

'Why not? I can’t love her if I don’t know her. Then she’ll wake up.’

'Because even if you do not know her, you are bonded to her. Your soul knows hers.’

Well, wasn’t that disgustingly romantic. So much so that it warmed me a little bit and I hated it. I should be cold, like her. 'We don’t know that it wouldn’t work.’

'It wouldn’t.’ The angel reaffirmed. 'You and her are mates. The witch knew that. You are connected on a level that not even the strongest power could separate you. Even if you did not know her, your soul would and would still love her.’

'We kill me then.’ I reasoned. 'If I die, I’m gone, soul’s gone, so she wakes up.’

He looked even sadder if that were possible, like one of those stupid china clown dolls they give kids, with the frowny faces. 'Your soul would only wait for her in heaven, loving her eternally. Death does not stop love, Dean. You should know this already.’

I sank down into a chair, feeling more lost and desperate than I had before. 'I don’t know what to do, Cas. How do I…how do I keep going?’

'You find the witch. She is the only one who can break the spell. Or…you stop loving Y/N.’

'That isn’t possible.’

'Which I believe was her intention.’ He pointed out and I wanted to punch him. I held back, knowing it would hurt me more than it would hurt him. 'Dean, I can feel your suffering. I wish I could help.’ He walked around the bed, standing next to me and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. Sometimes he got the human thing right. 'We can only hope that we find the witch soon.’

I nodded, but didn’t speak again. He left soon after that.

I waited for Garth to call.

*****

_Sam’s POV_

Garth’s lead had been a bust, and when I got back to the room, Charlie was there, on her own. She was half asleep, reading Lord Of The Rings to the babies, and I smiled, making sure she had everything she needed before leaving.

Dean was at the bunker, and he was half drunk. It took a lot to persuade him into his room, and even more to get him to get some rest. He’d wanted to go back to the hospital, but after repeatedly telling him he couldn’t turn up drunk like that, he’d finally relented.

And sobbed for about three hours until he finally went to sleep.

I was too wired to sleep right away, after my date with Caitlin. She was…intriguing. Beautiful and intelligent – I was completely caught. Inappropriate timing aside, I was feeling happier than I had since Jess…well, the possibilities were opening up. I had to take a cold shower, seeing as thinking of her was causing some issues with controlling myself.

After finally grabbing a few hours sleep, I woke up at 10am, finding a hungover Dean in the kitchen, making coffee. He looked grumpy as hell, and I decided not to poke the bear for a little while, leaving it to him to speak first.

'Y/N has another scan today.’ He mumbled, half into his coffee. I nodded, sitting opposite him with my own drink and a bagel. It was mostly stale, and I made a mental note to buy something a little fresher later on. 'At half one.’

'Do you want me to be there?’ I asked, and he nodded.

'I think Caitlin is doing it.’ He mentioned and I blushed, looking down at my food. 'I assume last night went well? Except for…well, drunk me.’

I nodded, smiling. 'It did. Obviously not rushing. She knows…about Jess and everything. Turns out, she had a mate but he was a douche and ran. Don’t know why. She’s pretty fantastic.’

Dean managed a small smirk. 'She’ll be in good hands.’ He stood up. 'I’m gonna go shower off the whiskey.’ As he passed me, he clapped a hand on my shoulder. 'You told me to seize happiness once, Sammy. I’m gonna tell you the same thing. And thanks. For last night.’ He paused. 'For everything.’

'Don’t worry about it.’ I assured him, watching him slump from the kitchen.

Three hours later, we were driving to the hospital, making it just in time to burst into Y/N’s room where Charlie was quizzing Caitlin on all the different equipment she was using. The ultrasound machine was next to the bed, switched on and Dean’s face fell.

'Did I miss it?’

'No!’ Caitlin exclaiming, smiling at me. I nodded, ducking my head and moving around beside Charlie, who gave us both a knowing look. Goddamn perceptive Betas. 'We’re just about to start.’ She picked up the wand, spreading the ultrasound jelly over Y/N’s exposed stomach. My heart hurt just to look at her; she was missing all of this.

It should be an exciting time, but the atmosphere was morose. Dean sat beside his mate, holding her hand, his eyes flickering between her still features and the machine by Caitlin.

She made humming noises as she rubbed the wand over the swell of Y/N’s belly, nodding and smiling when she found one of the babies. 'Here’s number one.’ She glanced at Dean. 'Did we want to know the sex?’ He nodded. Never was one for surprises. 'Well, twin number one is…’ She squinted at the screen and then smiled. 'A boy.’

Dean didn’t react.

Caitlin waited a second or two, her eyes flickering to me, before she carried on. When she found the second, she leaned in, twisting the wand a little. 'Number two is a little shy.’ She commented, before twisting the wand again. 'Let’s try another angle – oh no, there it is! Another boy.’

I looked to Dean as Caitlin continued with the scan, checking for all the other things she needed to check for. Dean was still, his hands holding Y/N’s, but his lips were moving. I edged a little closer, seeing the small smile on his lips, and catching the words he was whispering.

'We’re having twin boys, baby. I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna wake up to see them. I’ll make sure of it. I love you, so much.’

I closed my eyes for a moment, stepping back to watch Caitlin pack up the equipment, a sad expression on her face. Charlie moved behind Dean, rubbing his shoulders, and she looked at me, asking a silent question.

But I didn’t know what to do.


	11. October

**October**

_Sam’s POV_

‘I found her.’

Crowley’s voice was clear as day and I sat bolt upright in the chair, not expecting this call so soon. The British accent on the other end gave me an address and I nodded, despite the fact he couldn’t see me, barking out an affirmation that I would be there within the day, before hanging up.

Opposite me, his head laying next to Y/N’s swollen belly, one hand curled around her waist, and one at his side, clutching the precious Polaroid photo of them, Dean snored lightly. He couldn’t be comfortable in that position but it was the way he slept most nights. The photo was worn around the edges, probably from where he’d pulled it out of his pocket so often.

'Dean?’ I shook his shoulder gently, and he awoke instantly, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes. He clearly hadn’t had peaceful sleep.

'What?’ He was alert in a second, looking over at the monitors, his first thought for his mate. Once he was satisfied that she was there and nothing had changed, he switched his attention to me, and I nodded.

'Crowley found her.’

His eyes cleared, and he stood up, pulling out his cell. He was on the phone to Charlie, arranging for her to be here within the hour, and I waited for him.

'How’d he do it?’ Dean asked, and I shrugged.

'Didn’t ask. Figure he’s feeling bad about his hench demons going behind his back.’ I picked up my coat. 'I’ll get supplies. You stay here, wait for Charlie and I’ll swing by for you before we go. Crowley’s got her contained.’

His jaw ticked. 'For now.’ It wasn’t difficult to see the murder in my brother’s eyes. I nodded, leaving the room, seeing Caitlin across the hall but I didn’t stop, despite my urge to go to her. She smiled, giving me a little wave as I bolted off.

She’d figured it out quicker than I’d thought she would. She wasn’t up to top on all things monsters and demons, but she was laid back about my mysterious past.

But I didn’t have time to think of my own love life right now. We had a witch to hunt.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

I wasn’t expecting Castiel to pop in. Taking a few moments to myself, talking to Y/N, the room was silent and he scared the shit out of me. He simply grinned, in that simple way he had, and walked around to the other side of the bed.

Something hit me, and he seemed to sense the question on my lips, his blue eyes on me. 'She doesn’t dream.’

'The witch said she wouldn’t.’ I muttered in return, hating when he could do that. 'It’s like she’s dead but -’

'She isn’t. She is far from death. It’s more like…suspended. Freeze frame.’ He cocked his head to the side, before looking down at Y/N on the hospital bed, her skin as white as the sheets she lay on. Those tan lines I’d once kissed were long gone. Castiel reached out, putting a hand on her belly, and I had to fight down the urge to tackle him away from her.

He wasn’t an Alpha. He wasn’t even human. I was just being over protective.

A smile cracked his face, and he looked up at me again. 'The babies are kicking.’ I nodded, hating the pain that laced through me at that when it should have been happiness. 'They are very content.’

'They’re not even born, Cas. They don’t have feelings.’

'They have progressed far enough to have them, they just cannot acknowledge them.’ He kept his hand where it was, closing his eyes. 'I sense deep contentment…they know they are loved and warm and safe, even if they don’t know what those feelings mean.’ I shook my head, turning away from the bed.

Cas’ hand on mine made me freak a little, until a warm and serene feeling came over me. I stopped in my tracks, looking from the angel’s hand on mine up to his face. 'What the hell?’

'That is what they feel.’ Cas smiled, before releasing me. The warm feeling faded, but remained as a shadow on the edge of my consciousness. 'They don’t know what it is, but it is important that they feel it. And important that you know.’ He removed his hand from Y/N, fixing his eyes on me again. 'Dean, I know this situation is difficult, but there is light here. From the both of you.’

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I could feel that feeling and not the despair eating away at me. 'Crowley found the witch.’

'And you plan to kill her.’ The angel stated.

I nodded. 'Once she’s reversed the spell.’

'And if she cannot?’ He paused. 'Or will not.’

'I’ll figure it out.’

*****

I wasn’t lying, and sat in the car, I let my mind wander through the possibilities. Sam had insisted on driving, and I honestly didn’t have the energy to fight him on it. My only focus was killing Natalia and saving my Omega.

As I watched the lights go past the car, I stopped thinking about possible outcomes. The radio was playing random songs, and Alicia Keys came on, “Empire State Of Mind”. Not my sort of song, but it reminded me of a happier moment. A smile touched my lips as I closed my eyes.

_'Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t dooooo -’ Her voice echoed through the bedroom and I rolled over, looking over to the bathroom where steam billowed out. There was an ache in my thighs, probably from the exerting night before, and I stretched out on the bed languidly. Y/N continued to sing in the shower, and I waited, hearing the water turn off._

_Moments later, she emerged, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair sticking to her equally wet skin._

_'Now, that view makes up for the singing.’_

_'Hey.’ She admonished, a little bit of a swagger in her step as she came over to the bed. 'I’m a good singer.’_

_'Whatever you say, sweetheart.’ I reached out, unashamed of my nudity as I pulled her onto me. She squealed, and fought against me without much effort._

_'Dean! I just got clean.’_

_'And I’m making you dirty again.’ I chuckled, pinning her underneath me, my arousal already poking into her towel covered thigh.'I love it when you’re dirty.’_

_She pushed at my shoulders. 'Can I at least dry my hair?’ I shook my head. 'Deeean.’_

_'Shush.’ I kissed her, making her forget every single protest as I let my hands pull her towel open. Moving down from her lips, I made a path down her jawline, over her pulse point, nipping lightly to hear a satisfying yelp from her. My nose brushed her skin as I kept at my journey, coming to rest over her belly, dipping my tongue into her belly button. She smelt like raspberries, and I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply._

_'I can’t wait to see your belly full of pups.’ I whispered, not even filtering the thought, feeling her still underneath me for a second. I opened my eyes and looked up at her. She was smiling, her eyes shining. 'Tell me you want that.’ I practically begged, even though I hadn’t realised I’d wanted it so badly until now._

_Her hands cupped my face, pulling me back up, taking me away from my previous intention, which was to have her squirming on my tongue. But the atmosphere had changed and I slowly pushed into her, moaning as we finally connected, our mouths fused together._

_Sometimes, I wondered how lucky I was, when the other shoe was going to drop. I had this beautiful creature underneath me, whispering my name over and over, my cock buried inside her, bringing her to the edge over and over again._

_She told me once that when she came for me, the stars fell around us. I loved when she got all deep and poetic like that. I wasn’t one for words, but I agreed. Everything little thing she did was magic. And I was aware of the copyright infringement on that line._

_Right here, right now, I was in heaven. I didn’t need anything else but her._

Sam’s voice pulled me out of the pleasant memory and I wiped my face, realising I was crying. He didn’t say anything except for asking if I wanted to stop, and I nodded. A bathroom break was called for, mainly so I could try and man up in a filthy truck stop mirror for five minutes.

I practically leapt from the car when he stopped, not answering his question of what I wanted from the store. I didn’t want anything. Nothing bought could make me happy.

*****

_Sam’s POV_

Dean was hurting. I woke him up and asked if he wanted to stop because he’d nodded off. It was obviously a happy memory….until he started crying. The truck stop was quarter of a mile away and I knew this would be the last one until Crowley’s. Dean needed to pull himself together, as harsh as it sounded. Weakness in front of the enemy was never a good idea, and Dean was showing everything right now.

When he got back into the car, I handed him a bottle of water. He wasn’t exactly eating much, but keeping fluids up was important and even he knew that. He took it without argument and I started the Impala back up, pulling out onto the road. It was raining hard again, but there was a distinctly wintry chill to the air now.

Summer seemed like so long ago.

I’d managed to fire off a quick text to Caitlin when we stopped, and she’d replied telling me to keep safe. Y/N was okay, nothing had changed, and I relayed that information to Dean. He only nodded, and went back to staring out the window.

I missed my brother. He was right there beside me, but it seemed like most of his personality, his mind was with Y/N. This goddamn witch had done a number on him. She’d gotten him right where she wanted. But it would only end badly for her.

Dean was out for her blood, and I knew what that meant.

He cleared his throat, sitting up straight in the seat. 'We’re nearly there.’ He spoke quietly, not looking anywhere but at the road ahead. I nodded, letting him take his time. 'I don’t know what to do. I want her dead…but killing her won’t fix this.’

'I don’t know what to suggest.’ I replied quietly, knowing what he was thinking.

He could torture her, or let Crowley do it. It wouldn’t be the first time we’d gotten our hands dirty. But chances were, Dean would have to dig deep, into training he didn’t want to remember, times he’d put behind him.

Trying to undo this spell might undo him.

'I don’t want to see blood on my hands when I hold my kids, Sammy.’ God, his voice was heartbreaking.

'You’re not alone in this, Dean.’ I reassured him, glancing over. He looked like a ghost, sat there in Baby’s front seat, his skin pale and drawn, his normally green eyes a lacklustre hue of moss. I was right before – he’d left everything with Y/N. This was just Dean’s shell.

Until she woke up…it was all he’d be.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

Crowley had taken up residence in some kind of old asylum, naturally. It would be the homey place for a demon, with its Gothic architecture and long haunting halls of brick.

And it had a dungeon.

I couldn’t complain about that – it wasn’t like my home didn’t have one too.

His henchmen met us at the door, taking us straight down to the lavishly decorated office. The King Of Hell himself stood, bowing his head slightly as we entered.

'Dean. Sam.’ He greeted and I simply stared at him. I didn’t have time for pleasantries. Sam grimaced in return.

'Crowley.’

'Where is she?’ I ground out and Crowley blinked.

'Straight down to business then.’ He gestured to the still open door, and we followed him down another stupidly long corridor and some rickety old stone steps. I followed like a zombie, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. 'I have called in some help, if you don’t mind. Another witch, who may be able to help.’

I scowled at the demon’s back. 'More witches. Just what we need.’

'Well, if you want to break a spell, they’re usually the ones to help.’ Crowley pointed out and my fists tightened again. 'Anyway, Natalia is a somewhat nasty piece of work. She hasn’t given my boys anything yet, but she’s bound, and hopefully we can get some answers now you’re here.’

'Why the hell are you helping us anyway?’ I asked, still curious as to his reasons.

Crowley stopped in his tracks, turning to face me. 'We’ve all lost people, Dean. You’re not the only one who’s been hurt by a witch.’ He shrugged. 'Besides, you all cosy with a mate and pups? Keeps you out of my hair, doesn’t it?’ I didn’t believe him for a second,  but as long as he kept to his side of the bargain, I’d let it slide for now. He started to walk again, and I shared a look with Sam before following.

At the end of the corridor was the dungeon. Natalia was in a small cramped cell on our right as we entered, and murder immediately surged through my veins at the sight of her.

She was looking more like the twisted creature I knew she was, than the prim brunette I’d first seen. Her grey skin and crooked teeth, mottled with her blood, lank brunette hair hanging down to her waist. She was dressed in a simple black dress, but it looked like she’d been worked over already.

Obviously Crowley had tried to get our answers for us.

'Dean Winchester.’ She cackled. 'It’s been months.’

'Natalia.’ I growled, stepping closer to the bars she was behind.

'How’s Y/N?’ She enquired, almost friendly in her tone, but it just pissed me off more. 'And the baby? Well, I hope.’ Her grin was malicious now, and I wanted to rip her throat out to watch her choke on her own blood. 'You don’t look very well though.’

'That’s enough, sweetheart.’ Crowley came to stand by my side, and I knew he sensed the animosity flowing off of me. I wanted the bitch dead. 'Why don’t you give us what we need, and we won’t start cutting off pieces at a time.’

Natalia turned her gaze to Crowley. 'And why would I do that? Dean is suffering. He’s stood here, right in front of me, so hopelessly in love with his poor little Omega, and unable to save her because of it.’ Her eyes moved back to me. 'Do you sit with her? Talk to her? You know she can’t hear anything?’ She laughed. 'I bet you’ve tried everything. Tell me, did you try to kill yourself yet?’

I lost it. I threw myself at the bars, everything in me screaming for her blood, and I barely registered Sam’s hands on me. All I could hear was her laughter, echoing over the image of Y/N laying in that hospital bed.

My brother dragged me away as Crowley continued to try and get anything out of the witch, but all I wanted was to kill her. 'Dean!’ He yelled, slapping my cheek. I froze, realising I was almost crying, I was so desperate. 'Killing her won’t get us anything.’ He insisted, shaking me. I nodded, numb now, almost like I was giving up.

'You can kill her when I’m done.’ A new voice said, a European lilt to her accent and a tall blonde woman stepped from the shadows. 'Never liked the stupid cow anyway.’

'Ah, Katrina.’ Crowley greeted, holding out his arm to her. 'So nice to see you.’

'I don’t think the same can be said in return.’ Katrina replied, pulling at her black shirt. 'But a deal’s a deal, isn’t it?’ She sighed, peering into Natalia’s cell. 'Oh dear, Natalia, what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into now?’

'Katrina?’ Natalia sounded angry, and I dared myself to walk closer. 'You’re working with _hunters?_ With _demons?_ ’ She let out a low growl. 'You _traitor_.’

'My dear Natalia.’ The blonde witch smiled sweetly. 'If you will be a sweetheart and shut up.’ She looked over at me and Sam. 'I may not care for hunters, but I care for you even less.’ She pulled her hands up, closing her eyes. 'Now, let’s see if we can’t break this curse.’

I watched, feeling like the seconds were stretching into centuries as she chanted under her breath, Natalia silent in her cell. I vaguely sensed Sam’s presence behind me, and magic seemed to fill the room, standing my every hair on end. I hated magic. But if this could save Y/N, I wasn’t going to say no to a try.

She kept chanting, frowning every now and then, her body still like stone, and I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until my lungs started to burn. My body was so tense it hurt, and my eyes stung where I didn’t want to look away or blink.

Finally, she stopped, opening her eyes, her pale gaze fixed on Natalia, hanging from her chains in the cell. 'I can’t do it.’

'What?’ My voice was a rasp, disappointment flooding my entire system. 'Why can’t you do it?’

'She’s used blood magick.’ Katrina said, turning to me. 'I’m sorry, but the only person who can break this spell is her. Or the curse ends by her decree.’ She looked over at Crowley. 'I tried. Our deal is done.’ He nodded, and Katrina disappeared from the room.

I stumbled backwards into Sam, Natalia’s low chortling ringing in my ears. Crowley opened the door, and one of his henchmen walked in, brandishing the keys to her chains. 'Plan B.’ He said. 'We torture her some more.’ He looked over at me, but I wasn’t looking at him. I was staring at my hands, wishing I had the answer.

'I can’t.’ I whispered, and Crowley frowned.

'We can take care of the torture.’

'I won’t tell you anything!’ Natalia screeched, earning herself a backhand from the henchman. Her head snapped back, and fresh blood trickled down her lip. Crowley grabbed her by the throat, holding her up easily. She smiled at him, her lips stretching back over her gums. 'I won’t lift the curse. The only way for Dean to break it is to stop loving Y/N. And the only way for him to do that is to love someone else. He can’t die, he can’t forget…’ Her eyes flickered to me where I was stood, my arms by my sides, my entire being ready to give up. 'But an Alpha won’t leave the Omega he’s bonded to. It’s _impossible_.’

'We’ll see about that.’ Crowley grunted, throwing her across the room.

'Can we go?’ I asked, suddenly not willing to be part of any torture or death. I just wanted to be back with Y/N. Sam frowned at me.

'Are you sure?’ He asked, confused by my sudden about turn on the subject of killing the witch.

'Crowley can take care of this.’ I said, feeling like a blackness had taken hold of my insides. 'I just…’ I didn’t need to finish, as Crowley interrupted.

'I’ll see what I can get out of her.’ He raised his hand, clicking his fingers and we were back outside.

The cold air felt good, and Sam took the initiative and led me to the car.

I slept most of the way back to Kansas and dreamt of Y/N.

I think a part of me didn’t want to wake up.


	12. November

**November**

_Dean’s POV_

‘So, what do you want for lunch?’ Y/N slid over to my side of the bed, or what we’d classified as such, wrapping her smaller arm around my waist. Her fingers tracked the trail of hair leading from my belly button down to my groin, and I groaned loudly.

'You.’ I muttered, pulling her up for a kiss.

'I don’t think I’m edible.’ She giggled, before I flipped her underneath me.

'We’ll see about that.’ I moved down over her belly, pausing to kiss the swell of her stomach, my nose inhaling her sweet scent before I focused on my main prize. Spreading her thighs, I ran one digit up over her slit, and she moaned, provoking a grin from me. 'You sound delicious.’ I pointed out, before licking her essence from my finger. 'And you taste even better.’

'Dean, I’m starving.’ She whimpered, but didn’t put up a fight as I buried my tongue in her soaked cunt, sucking and licking up every drop of her. I held her thighs apart, making sure she couldn’t block me out, and listened to the sweet sound of her orgasming on my mouth. 'Deeeaaaan.’

Music to my ears. She kept panting my name over and over and -

Was that an alarm going off?’

'What’s that beeping?’ I asked, pulling back to look at her. 'Did you set an alarm?’

'You need to wake up.’ Y/N replied, sadly, and the room grew a little darker. I leant back on my haunches, seeing her gloriously naked body disappear beneath a white sheet, the swell of my pups inside her completely covered. 'Dean?’ She repeated. 'You need to wake up.’

'No.’ I shook my head. 'I am awake, I’m -’

The hospital room was stark white and hurt my eyes when I opened them. Sitting bolt upright, I felt Caitlin’s hand on my shoulder, and she was smiling softly at me. Sam’s scent was all over her, and my stomach dropped.

'It was a dream.’ I muttered, looking over to my mate, still in the bed, still wearing that awful white gown, those coarse sheets over her constantly growing body.

Caitlin nodded, sympathy all over her face. She moved around the bed, doing her usual checks. 'You were out for a while. Sam asked if I could wake you up. He’s gone to get you both some lunch.’

“M not hungry.’ I grumbled, reaching over to take Y/N’s hand. The Polaroid photo lay discarded next to her and I snatched it up. Obviously my body had grown tired of sleeping slumped over. 'How is she doing?’

'No change.’ Caitlin scribbled something on a chart, placing it at the bottom of the bed. 'She’s still stable and the babies are doing fine.’ She moved around the bed, sitting at the foot. I wondered when I’d gotten so comfortable with her – clearly she was making Sam happy, which I was grateful for beyond belief – but I never thought I’d be accepting someone new into our weird little family, whilst half of it was stuck in a hospital bed. 'Have you…have you thought about names for the babies?’

I blinked up at her, shaking my head. 'I…didn’t want to pick anything. In case she didn’t like it.’

She nodded, and I hated the pity in her eyes. I knew she couldn’t help it, but I still hated it. It was the look everyone gave me now. The scruffy Alpha, watching over his mate, even though it was likely she’d never wake up. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d gone back to the bunker for a shower and a shave. Maybe I should do that today.

'I think -’ She started, and I could sense her apprehension. 'Maybe you should think about it. I don’t want to be negative, Dean, but there’s a chance…there’s a chance that you might have to raise these boys alone.’

The thought cut through me like a knife. It had done every time I’d had it. The second I’d found out about the babies, I’d been thinking about that. What kind of father would I be? Raising one child was hard alone, raising two?

Caitlin obviously sensed my thoughts. 'Dean? You know that Sam will help. Charlie and Garth too. And there’s still hope.’ She smiled gently. 'I don’t want to be too forward but…I’ll help too.’ I’d had an inkling that her and Sam had finally done the deed, but neither of them wanted to rub it in my face. Almost immediately I felt guilty, knowing that when you first bond like that, all you want to do is spend time together. And I was standing in the way of their happiness.

'I’m sorry, Caitlin.’ I whispered, slumping down into my chair as she frowned at me. 'This whole thing…I should be happier for you and Sam. I am, I know I’m not showing it, but he should be with you, not babysitting his broken older brother.’ I held my photo tightly in my hand, trying not to acknowledge the evil little part of me that was glad I was interrupting their time.

If I couldn’t have my mate with me, why should Sam?

Because Sam had lost just as much as I had. More, even.

Caitlin didn’t seem to show any animosity towards me though. She smiled, patting my forearm as she stood. 'I’ve got to go do the rest of my rounds. Don’t worry about me and Sam, Dean. We’re figuring it out.’ She moved to the door. 'It’s not like I can just call in sick for that.’

I smiled, feeling like it was at least a little bit genuine, and nodded at her. She looked back, her eyes flickering between me and the bed.

'Eat something Dean. Get a shower. Rest a while. She’s in good hands.’

*****

_Sam’s POV_

His dreams were getting worse. He didn’t need to say anything, I just knew. I’d never seen my brother this broken before…but I’d seen it elsewhere. I’d seen that face in the mirror every day after Jess died. I knew exactly what he was going through.

Made it worse that I couldn’t do anything. I guess I know how he’s felt all these years, looking at me and knowing I’d lost her. He’s in the same place, with only a slim hope that his mate would come back to him. It was like living on a knife edge between hope and loss, not knowing whether he’d ever see her open eyes again – at least I’d known, without a doubt, that Jess was gone. I didn’t have to hold onto a hope that might not come to fruition.

At least he ate more now. I think Caitlin had been helping with that.

I always felt warm when I thought of her now. Ever since we’d made it official, at her place of course – the bunker wasn’t really the most romantic setting – I’d had to resist the urge to find her every five seconds in the hospital. Felt like a teenaged pup again, but it was nice. To have something bright in the midst of all the darkness.

I knew Dean felt guilty, that he was stopping us from having our time together, but really, it wasn’t entirely that. She had a job to do as well, and I wouldn’t ever take that from her. I liked that she was so keen on helping people. Just made her even more beautiful.

Slipping into the hospital room with two sandwiches in my hands, I found Dean gone, and Castiel stood by Y/N’s side, just watching her. He looked up as I came in, and I frowned, dropping the food on the table at the end of the bed.

'Where’s Dean?’

'He asked me to take him back to the bunker, and return here to watch Y/N. Charlie was unavailable – she has gone to check on Garth and help out with a case.’ He was always so matter-of-fact, the angel friend of ours. Made him even more endearing. 'He said he was feeling pungent.’

'That’s a long word for Dean.’ I chuckled, sitting down by Y/N’s bed. Castiel just stood there, looming over her like some statue. 'I assume there’s been no change.’

'Not in Y/N, no. But the babies – it is fascinating watching them grow.’

'I forget you’ve never really been around this stuff.’ I replied, reaching for my sandwich and ripping the packet open. They’d only had white bread in the shop, which wasn’t my preference, but I was pretty hungry, so it would do. 'Pregnancy is pretty weird.’

'It isn’t weird.’ Cas seemed a little insulted. 'It is a beautiful process to watch. For example, this morning, the first baby heard a sound for the first time. It was Dean talking. He’s still processing that information.’ He reached out, as I watched, placing a hand on Y/N’s belly. They’d had to elevate her bed a little more, as she was growing so big, and her feet were slightly elevated too, to prevent any swelling. 'It’s astounding how quickly they grow.’

'Wait until they’re out. Dean always said I grew like a weed.’ Sam paused. 'How do you know it was Dean’s voice he was reacting to.’

'I’ve been here.’ Castiel shrugged, removing his hand from Y/N’s stomach. 'I like to stay and watch over them. They’re very…important to me.’

I grinned. 'Uncle Castiel.’ He frowned. 'Uncle Cas. It’s got a ring to it.’ I took a hefty bite of the sandwich, watching the angel’s confusion play out across his face.

'But I am not their blood relation.’

I waved him off, giving myself time to swallow. 'Doesn’t matter. You’re family, Cas. So you’re gonna be an uncle to those kids whether you like it or not.’

He shifted, looking down at Y/N. 'It is an honour to be considered as such. One I am not sure I am worthy of.’

'Family don’t end with blood.’ I remembered. 'Man, wish Bobby were here. He always knew what to do.’

Cas frowned again. 'No, he didn’t.’ He waited, as I gave him a pointed look, and then the penny dropped. 'You’re saying that to comfort yourself.’ He nodded. 'Yes. Bobby Singer would have known what to do.’ I shook my head, going back to my sandwich.

He left a few seconds after that, I think. Well, he wasn’t visible any more. Makes me wonder how much he does that, lurking in the background, watching us. I guess, with Y/N like this, it made me feel a little more secure.

Don’t know if Dean would have seen it that way. He tended to growl at anyone who came near her lately. Except for me. But then, I’d never been a threat.

I settled in for a while, picking up the copy of Lord Of The Rings that Charlie had left behind, pulling my chair closer to Y/N’s bed. I leant on the edge, finding the bent page where the red head had left off and cleared my throat.

“ _So it was that in the light of a fair morning King Théoden and Gandalf the White Rider met again upon the green grass beside the Deeping-stream…..”_

_*****_

_Dean’s POV_

Her hands were gentle as they soaped up my back, and I leant into her, enjoyed the soothing presence of her scent around me. I moaned softly as she moved over my ass, around to my front, her slim fingers wrapping around my cock without preamble, and pumped a few times.

It didn’t take much encouragement to turn around, and I swallowed down her yelp of surprise with my lips, my hands finding her already hardened nipples and twisting them enough to make her hum against me. Her soapy hand kept hold of my dick, moving at a steady pace and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came.

Breaking away from her mouth, I turned her, causing her to let go of my length, and she muttered an approval as I placed her hands on the cold tile, spreading her legs with my knee. The soap and water combined to allow me a smooth entrance into her body, and I stilled when my pelvis pressed into her ass, content to just stay there forever.

She was not so content.

Moving back against me, she gyrated her hips, causing my cock to hit a different angle, and I fought not to release her hands and slam into her. Instead, I allowed my hips to move with hers, rocking into her from behind, the water making a pornographic sound as we collided over and over.

'Dean…’ Her voice was drowned out by my panting, and the spray hitting the rubber shower mat after covering our bodies, but it was enough to spur me on. I quickened my pace a little, looking down to watch myself moving into her, her pussy accepting me readily, and I could feel the first flutterings of her orgasm around my dick.

'Come for me, baby.’ I whispered in her ear, and she screamed, letting go, pulling me straight over the edge with her. I bit down into her shoulder, leaving a perfect imprint of my teeth, and she shuddered, letting me finish riding out the bliss inside her.

When I pulled out, I turned her around, kissing her tenderly, my hands moving down to caress her stomach.

Something was wrong.

This was all wrong.

Y/N looked at me, her eyes almost dead.

I sat up with a gasp, heaving lungfuls of air into my chest as I looked around the cold bedroom I’d once claimed as home. It was dim, lit only by a single lamp across the room, and I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.

I’d intended on a shower, but as soon as I’d seen the bed, I was out cold on it. I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been out. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I checked the time, seeing a few messages from Sam, and one from Castiel and Charlie. Garth had tried to call.

I’d been asleep for nearly twelve hours.

Panic seized me, and I bolted from the bed, having the quickest shower mankind had ever seen, forgoing the shave before praying to Cas. I’d left Baby at the hospital and I was hoping he’d answer quickly. A rustle of wings, and he was in front of me, cocking his head to the side.

'You look well rested.’ He commented and I scowled.

'You should have come back here and woken me up.’

'I was not given any instruction to do so.’ He pointed out. 'And Sam said you needed rest. Nothing has happened in your absence. Y/N continues to sleep. The babies continue to grow. Sam continues to pine over his new mate. Charlie is still at the safe-house with Garth.’ He frowned as I continued to scowl. 'There was no need to wake you.’

'I should have been with her.’

'You are not of any use to your mate if you cannot function.’ The angel pointed out, and I felt that urge to punch him again.

'Take me back to the hospital, Cas.’ I demanded and he sighed, his shoulders sagging. Reaching out, he touched my arm and the room span, nausea filling my stomach, bubbling up to leave a foul taste of bile in my throat.

It was at that point my brain decided I was hungry as hell.

'Dean!’ Sam sat up straight, running a hand through his mussed up hair. He’d obviously been sleeping in the chair I normally occupied. 'You’re back!’

'You should have sent him to wake me up.’ I growled, angry for no good reason. Sam climbed from my chair, putting the book he’d had in his hands to the side. I glanced at it, but ignored it, before retaking my place at Y/N’s side. 'I didn’t want to be gone that long.’ The dream I’d had was obviously the cause of my grumpiness, but I wasn’t about to admit it to them.

Sam shrugged. 'You needed the rest. Nothing happened.’

Castiel raised a hand. 'I already explained that to him.’

'Not the point.’ My stomach grumbled, and I spotted a sandwich on the table. Sam grimaced. 'How long has that been there?’

'Long enough that I suggest you don’t eat it?’ He said, grabbing his jacket. 'Look, I’ll do a run. Pick you up a nice greasy burger and a milkshake. You just…chill out, yeah?’ I felt bad almost instantly, but didn’t wipe the foul expression off my face. I wanted the memories of that dream gone. It felt wrong. Sam didn’t wait for an answer from me, but he shared a look with Castiel.

The angel remained after my brother had left and I wasn’t sure why. He sat next to me, just watching her like I did, and it was a long time before either of us spoke.

Surprisingly, it was me who broke the silence, with the strangest request I’d ever made of my friend.

'Do you think you could….can I feel them again?’ I wasn’t even sure if it was possible, but I had to ask. Just that connection…remembering the feel of it…I wanted it again.

Castiel smiled.

'Of course.’

*****

Thanksgiving was coming up. There were plastic turkeys and decorations everywhere. And I didn’t feel like I had anything to be thankful for. It was stupid really, because despite the fact that my mate was in an unresponsive coma, unlikely to ever wake up, she was still carrying my pups.

I was trying so hard to be thankful for that.

I was also trying to be thankful for Sam having someone new in his life. Caitlin was amazing. She continued to act as Y/N’s OBGYN nurse, constantly checking on her, more than she probably should. I wasn’t sure when Sam explained the whole weird life we led to her, but she seemed to accept it without question. I guess, working in a hospital, she’d seen her fair share of weird things.

I talked to Y/N, every day. We all took it in turns to read to her. Sam had ploughed through the rest of the Lords Of The Rings books, and Charlie had started reading the Hobbit. I’d picked a different set of books to read to her, ones I remembered my mom reading to me.

I started with Fantastic Mr Fox. The babies liked that one. When I’d started, as soon as my hand was on her  belly, they kicked, hard. According to Cas, they liked the sound of my voice. It gave me a little boost, and helped me to carry on. I wished that she could hear me too, and ignoring the fact that she couldn’t was harder every time I read, but I didn’t stop.

Making my way through the Roald Dahl collection, I decided to skip The Witches. It was a little too close to home. But they seemed to respond to The Twits and James And The Giant Peach. I always liked that one. I guess, when I was a kid, an adventure away from everything seemed amazing.

My mom never finished reading it to me.

My dad never bothered reading to me at all after the fire.

I wouldn’t have that for my sons.

My sons.

That thought gave me pause, and I felt something ignite in my chest that had been burning a dull ache since Y/N passed out in my arms, all those months ago.

I felt hope.


	13. December

**December**

_Sam’s POV_

Returning from the bunker, I was expecting to find the usual morose scene at the hospital. Dean had been slightly more upbeat as of late, but the amount of time he’d been spending with Y/N was increasing, although he was eating more. He showed zero to no interest in hunting, and I’d left on two hunts alone in the last month.

Christmas was fast approaching, and the decorations around the hospital were growing on a daily basis. Caitlin had managed to get Dean to agree to some tinsel and a little tree in Y/N’s room, but Dean was still being very Scrooge about the whole holiday. He didn’t care, and I could only think it was because the one thing he wanted, he was unlikely to get.

Walking through the hospital, finding my way to the neurology department where they were monitoring Y/N, I smiled at the nurses as I passed. A lot of them knew me because of Caitlin, and I was glad we’d managed to get such a good and caring team.

Except for Doctor Osgood. He hadn’t been back since Dean had left a lasting impression on his throat.

Approaching the door to Y/N’s room, I paused, frowning in confusion at the sounds coming from the other side. There was a distinct melody, guitar and…

Dean singing.

I wrapped my fingers around the handle, pulling it down slowly, banging my foot against the door. Ordinarily, the thought of catching my brother in an embarrassing position would be something I’d not pass up, but this seemed like too intimate a situation to rib him about.

He was sat on the bed, a small set of portable speakers and…an iPod? Well, that was unusual. Dean didn’t normally play anything produced after 1980. He saw me enter the room, and his singing stopped but there was no mistaking the joy on his face.

‘Sam!’ He waved me over, and I shut the door, confused by his suddenly turn in mood. I don’t think I’d seen him smile like that since before this all started. ‘You gotta feel this, man.’ He grabbed my hands as I neared the bed. ‘Put one here.’ He placed my left hand on the underside of Y/N’s belly and I felt my cheeks flush. He didn’t normally like anyone touching her like this. ‘And that one there.’ My right hand was put just to the side, and he looked up at me, green eyes tired but sparkling. ‘Now, wait.’

He turned the music up a little and I recognised the song as one of his favourites by Led Zeppelin. He started to sing along.

‘ _Mine’s a tale that can’t be told, my freedom I hold dear_.’ He was watching me carefully, and I kept my eyes on him, still confused, when I felt it. A hard thump from inside Y/N, in time with the music. A grin burst out on my face, matching my brother’s and he nodded.

‘See? See?’ He stood up, almost giddy. I wasn’t going to lie, it felt good to see him like that. ‘Pair of little rockers already. Caitlin gave this to me.’ He motioned to the speakers. ‘I wasn’t sure at first, but she was saying something about it being too quiet, and that the babies like sound. So she showed me how to put songs on it and play it, and then…man, they love it. Everything. Sabbath, Metallica.’ He was smiling so widely, I couldn’t help but match it. I suddenly felt a burst of gratitude that Caitlin had landed in our lives, the Omega I’d never been expecting. She was already part of this family, and I could see the old Dean leaking back through in front of me.

He put a different song on, and I left my hands where he’d put them, feeling the activities of my nephews under my palms. It was an amazing feeling.

And Y/N couldn’t feel it.

Somehow, that was the saddest thing I could ever imagine.

Dean sat back, putting his feet up on the smaller armchair beside Y/N’s bed, drumming in the air. I didn’t want to say anything to him, but my joy at seeing him happy had turned bitter in my mouth and I wondered if he’d had the thought and fought through it, or whether it was yet to strike him.

For now, he was happy.

I guess that was all that mattered.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

Cas appeared out of the blue, and scared the ever-living crap out of us both. He looked serious, but then it was always difficult to tell with him. ‘Dean.’ He nodded in my direction. ‘Sam. I have good news.’

I sat upright, turning off the music that I’d been playing constantly. ‘What?’

The angel took a breath and I wondered if he’d specifically amped up the drama. I think he liked doing that. ‘I may have found a counter curse that will work. But it is complicated and I cannot promise results.’

‘A counter curse?’ Sam looked over at me, and I held my breath, not daring to hope too much. ‘I thought Natalia was the only one who could reverse the spell?’

‘She can reverse the spell, yes. But this is a counter curse. It would negate the effects of the first curse.’ Castiel looked between us and I dared to think this might a solution, no matter how simple it sounded.

‘And we didn’t think of this before, because?’ Sam asked, suspicious as usual. I wasn’t angry at him for it; if anything, having Sam on side meant that there would be no missed points – he’d be meticulous about checking the details. I would try, but I’d always miss that one thing.

Castiel sighed. ‘It was not an immediate solution and the path may not be desirable. We would have to cast a curse on Y/N to remove this one.’

‘It sounds too simple.’ Sam shook his head. ‘What sort of curse?’

‘Anything would work, within reason. But I have found a curse that would work better than most, with no ill effects, and it does not require a witch to cast it.’

‘Surely Natalia would have covered her bases with this?’ I chewed on my lip, my eyes grazing over my still mate, wishing none of this was necessary. ‘She’ll be expecting this.’

‘No necessarily, if the curse we chose was one small, simple. Like, a sleeping curse.’

‘But she’s already asleep?’ I frowned. ‘Isn’t that the spell we’re trying to undo?’

‘No. Her curse is specific.’ The angel walked past Sam, looking down at Y/N. ‘I would propose a smaller curse, one with no blood magic. We cast the curse, and hopefully it will negate the properties of the current curse.’ He looked up. ‘We would need a full moon to try it.’

‘That’s in ten days.’ Sam muttered, going over it in his head.

I held up a hand. ‘Wait, what do you mean, _hopefully_?’

‘It’s a long shot. At the worst, the curse will do nothing, will not cause any ill harm. We don’t have many other options.’

I looked down at Y/N. The worst bit was that she’d know what to do. But if she were here to tell me…she wouldn’t need to. My previous good mood faded, and I reached over, stroking her hair. It was dry and thin, and I hated how much she looked dead without being gone.

‘Do you want to risk this, Dean?’ Sam asked, and I noticed he’d moved around the bed, standing beside me. I was reminded of all the time we’d had each others backs, and how grateful I was to have him here. I had no doubt I’d have fallen apart way before now without him. ‘I can check everything. Double check. But we won’t do anything without your say so. She’s your mate.’

I nodded, wiping at my face. Jeez, I was tired.

‘Ten days yeah?’ I asked and Castiel nodded, along with Sam. ‘Yeah. We can’t just let it pass. Let’s try. But only if nothing happens to her. Just that she wakes up.’

*****

I didn’t want to admit that I was a pessimist, but I spent the next ten days without leaving her side, except to use the restroom and occasionally to get fresh air. Leaving her side wasn’t something I could deal with, and the closer the end got, the more I started to panic. And the more the dreams came. Vivid recollections of the small amount of time I’d had with her, every single one in such perfect detail that I’d wake up empty and wanting.

I wanted her back. So much that it was tearing me up inside.

Sam and Castiel were there, the evening before the spell, waiting for the moon to be at its peak. Christmas was thirteen days away, and I wanted more than anything for Y/N to be awake for it. Sam had checked everything in the curse several times over, and it looked okay. I was allowing myself that hope I’d denied before, despite my inner voice telling me it was a bad idea.

All that could happen was that she stayed asleep. The spell wouldn’t hurt her.

At a quarter to midnight, Sam left, Cas disappearing with him. I pulled my chair close to her bed, holding her hand tightly, keeping my eyes on her face. I wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.

‘You’re gonna be home with me soon, baby.’ I whispered, trying to distract myself. ‘We’ll pick one of the rooms in the bunker for the boys. Paint it blue with rockets and…ducks or something. I’ll cut back on hunting. We’ll be a proper family.’ I chuckled. ‘Sam and Caitlin won’t be far behind, the rate they’ve been banging. All these pups running around, we won’t have time for anything else.’ I reached up, placing my hand on her belly, feeling the movement underneath. They weren’t as active as they usually were, but then, it was night-time. I’d read in one of those books that they calmed down when their mom slept. ‘You’re gonna get to feel this. You’re gonna be awake when our boys are born.’ There was no way of knowing if I was speaking the truth, but it felt better to say it out loud. I was useless with words. And useless in situations like this. I had nothing to fight, nothing to punch or shoot…this wasn’t my element.

I brushed her hair out of her eyes, smiling despite the tears in mine. There was nothing else I could think of to say, so I sat in silence, watching her breathing, feeling the odd kicks from the pups in her belly.

At three minutes past midnight, her body tensed, and I sprang up, gripping her hand tight, willing her to squeeze back, waiting for her eyes to open. Her mouth dropped and I held my breath, hearing her breathing change.

At four minutes past midnight, the seizures started. Her body jerked and shook, and in a panic, I slammed my hand on the emergency button.

At five minutes past, the room flooded with staff, including Caitlin, who looked at me in worry. I shook my head, unsure if she even knew what we had planned.

‘Any history of seizures?’ One of the doctors asked, and I opened my mouth, but found myself unable to reply. I settled for shaking my head again, stepping back out of the way, even though I was desperate to be right beside her. ‘Shit, she’s bleeding.’ Another doctor said, standing back, and I looked down. Blood was dripping from the bed, quickly saturating the blankets. ‘Is that amniotic fluid too?’

‘The seizures have triggered labour.’ Caitlin said, and the doctors looked at each other, as if silently agreeing on a course of action.

‘No!’ I yelled. ‘You can stop it right? She’s only thirty-four weeks! They can’t be born yet.’ Caitlin grabbed me, holding me back as the doctors completely ignored me, unhooking all of the machines and rolling my mate from the room. ‘They’re too small.’ Everything I’d read hadn’t prepared me for this, sobbing in my brother’s Omega’s arms, reaching out to the empty doorway.

‘Dean.’ She shushed, holding my shoulders. ‘You gotta calm down. Come with me, we’ll get you into some scrubs and you can be there. Okay?’

‘They’re too small…’ I wept and she shook her head.

‘We’ve got a fantastic unit here, okay? I’ll talk you through everything. It’s quite common for twins to be born early.’ I wasn’t sure whether she was telling the truth or placating me, but I followed her anyway. Pulling my phone out, before she took it off me, I fired off a text to Sam, a simple 911. I wasn’t sure if the spell had caused this, but either way, we had to face the consequences.

*****

The room was white and stark as I watched them prep Y/N for surgery. I stayed propped on a stool by her head, stroking her hair, whispering soothing words despite her not being able to hear me. After a quick test of responses, they decided no anaesthetic was needed, because she was in a non-responsive coma, and things moved forward from there. I could hear them, but I didn’t acknowledge their words – even if I had, I wouldn’t have known what they meant.

About half an hour in, the steady beep of her heart was comforting me, and I wondered how stupid I looked in blue scrubs, a surgical hat and gown, and the mask covering half my face. Y/N would have laughed if she could see me. Sam would too. I didn’t even know if they’d got my message, or if they were here.

Caitlin came in, dressed in similar attire, placing a hand on my shoulder. ‘The first twin is about to be born.’ She said quietly. ‘Do you want to hold him?’ I nodded, unable to speak for fear of bursting into tears. Standing from the stool, I watched them work. I’d never seen anything so gory, and I’d ripped monsters apart before. But this…this was personal. Different.

The small body they pulled from my mate was almost blue, and the nurses quickly covered it with a blanket, rubbing its back. I was await of Caitlin’s comforting touch on my arm, but I couldn’t do anything but stare as they turned to me, and a high pitched wail filled the room.

Probably the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

‘Say hello to your son.’ One of the other nurses smiled at me, handing me the bundle she carried, and I stared down at the tiny person I’d helped create. They’d cut the umbilical cord, and put one of those funny pegs on it, and the blanket was covered in blood and other things from his mother, but fuck, he was perfect. Ten little fingers and ten little toes. His mother’s nose, I could see it already. A thatch of dark fuzz on his head.

Time stood still as I held him, and his eyes opened, blurry and dark, but open, and his cries lowered to a baby whimper. I held him in one arm, although he was so tiny, I only really needed one hand, and used my other to touch his tiny hand, grasping at air. His fingers latched onto me straight away and I felt my chest swell. A feeling like I’d never known swept through me and the atmosphere of the room started to crackle. I knew then, that this tiny person had changed me forever.

‘Dean.’ The rasp of my name made me move, looking back over to Y/N. Her eyes were open, and she was reaching for me as I stood there, our son in my arms. She was awake.

And then she screamed.

The doctors freaked, and the newborn child was taken from my arms as I was shoved to the side. The whole room dissolved into chaos, with the coma patient suddenly and inexplicably awake and able to _feel_ everything. It became a rush to sedate her, and to get the other baby out before he became distressed. My first born was wheeled from the room, possibly to NICU, but I couldn’t ask. Caitlin was busy helping and in the midst of it all, I fell to my ass, tears streaming down my face.

‘She’s bleeding out.’

‘Did you nick an artery?’

‘She moved, how could I know? There’s too much blood to visualise.’

‘We need to drain this quick.’

‘Get the other baby out, now.’

Words mixed together in a blur, and it became too much. The heart monitors bleeped and screamed, Y/N fell silent and my heart thundered in my ears as I looked down at my gloved hands. There was blood there, from where I’d held my son.

‘She’s crashing.’

Those two words split through my confusion, and I looked up, terror on my face as the noise of the machines curled through my mind like a nightmare. I could only manage one word, and it came out a strangled whisper as I watched them pull paddles out to shock her.

‘No.’


	14. December cont.

**December (cont.)**

_Reader’s POV_

You felt groggy as hell, and nothing registered straight away. You remembered the witch, and remembered her grip on you, before finding yourself falling. Now there was darkness, but that was most likely due to the fact your eyes were shut. Someone was touching you, and you could hear an infant gurgling.

Opening your eyes, you registered the mask on your face, the clean taste of oxygen coming through it, and you slowly moved your head to the right, seeing someone in blue scrubs, with a surgical hat and mask on. Were you in hospital? Was something wrong?

Green eyes were staring down and you realised it was Dean. He was holding the tiniest bundle in one arm, his finger surrounded by the minuscule fingers of the baby he was staring at.

‘Dean…’ Your throat felt like sandpaper, and his eyes met yours. The pain in your throat opened a gateway and you realised that whoever was touching you, was hurting you. Agony split you in half. Someone was screaming.

You didn’t realise it was you until you’d passed out.

The second time you opened your eyes, you were back in your old bedroom, on your bed and face down. Dean’s hand was on your ass and you smiled contentedly, looking at his sleeping face. Reaching out, you traced his freckles and he stirred, wrinkling his nose. He pulled you close, cuddling against you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

‘Missed you.’ He muttered. ‘I hate sleeping sometimes. It’s like I’m losing time with you.’

You giggled. ‘I feel like I’ve been asleep for centuries.’ A yawn broke through your words, and you shrugged. ‘Guess I was tired. Had a really weird dream though.’

Dean frowned. ‘What kind of dream?’

‘You were there but you were holding a baby. And someone was hurting me. I don’t remember much else. Oh, and a witch.’

‘That sounds a little crazy.’ He smiled, kissing you softly. ‘But then, you must be crazy. You’re with me.’

‘You’re just as crazy.’ You pressed closer, enjoying the warmth and taste of him on your lips, his hands running through your hair, pulling you closer, as he kissed you more and more desperately. ‘Make love to me, Dean.’ You begged, just above a whisper and he nodded, his body hard against yours.

The both of you took your time undressing from the flimsy sleepwear you wore, because it was hard to pull away. It was almost like you hadn’t touched him in months, desperate to remember what he felt like. As he finally pushed into you, you groaned his name loudly, coming quick and hard under his skilled touch. He followed just as quickly, but didn’t knot you this time. It happened that way sometimes – this wasn’t about mating, it was about something entirely different.

‘If this is a dream, I don’t ever wanna wake up.’ You sighed, curling up on his bare chest. Dean chuckled, his hand combing out your ridiculous sex hair.

‘Maybe it’s not a dream.’ He said. ‘Feels like heaven to me. Maybe we’re dead.’

You slapped his chest. ‘Don’t say things like that.’ Dean laughed, rolling over to tickle your sides. You giggled, but he tickled harder and you yelped. ‘Dean, stop it, that’s hurting.’ He didn’t stop, his fingers practically digging into you, and you thought you saw blood. Pain lashed at your sides and you tried to push him away, tried to shout at him but your arms were heavy and your throat was sore, almost like you couldn’t breathe.

The bedroom faded, and bright white assaulted your vision, which was blurry as hell. Squinting and coughing, you became aware of the tube in your throat and the agony in your side. You thrashed, hearing muffled voices, and you dragged air in through your nose.

‘Calm down, calm down, please, Y/N –‘

You didn’t recognise the voice, but you tried to calm, focusing your vision and looking up to see an unfamiliar blonde woman. She smelt like an Omega, but more importantly, she smelt like family, which was weird.

‘Y/N, calm down.’ Her hands were on your shoulders. ‘I’ve called for Dean, okay? My name is Caitlin.’ She frowned, and you raised a weak arm, pointing at the tube in your throat. ‘We can take that out. The doctor will be here in a minute, okay?’ You nodded, blinking tears away. ‘Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry, you’re fine.’ Who was this strange woman? She was nice, but you had no clue who she was.

The door opened, and Dean rushed in, followed closely by a young looking doctor and Sam. Charlie and Garth were loitering in the hallway, and the doctor politely asked them to wait before coming in. He asked the same of Sam, who refused to move. The shorter man decided not to argue with either giant brother.

‘Y/N?’ Dean’s voice sounded tired, and when he came into your line of sight, you noticed he looked it too. ‘God, I thought you’d never wake up. Thought I’d lost you for real this time.’ He was almost crying, and you frowned. Surely you hadn’t been out that long?

‘Let’s get this tube out.’ The young doctor said, his movements coordinating with Caitlin, who you guessed must be a nurse with the way she worked. The clips were taken off and tape removed, and all that was left was the scratchy horrible tube down your throat. ‘Oh three, Y/N, you need to cough hard, okay?’ You nodded, waiting for the countdown.

It was like being sick, only worse, and you heaved, nothing coming up. The movement aggravated the pain in your stomach and you let the tears fall, as the doctor raised your bed and started checking your vitals. Dean was at your side again, taking your pale hand.

‘Dean…’ You rasped, gratefully taking the cup of ice chips he immediately offered. ‘What’s going on?’

He opened his mouth, then shut it again, looking like he was going to burst into tears. Sam was there behind him, looking down at you with that tight smile. ‘Good to have you back, Y/N.’

‘I don’t understand. How long did she knock me out for? Why was that tube down my throat?’ You were confused, and the flashes of memory, of being in surgery, kept haunting you. ‘What…the baby?’

Dean lost it, tears dropping from his long lashes, as he clutched at your hand. ‘Babies.’ He said, and you stared at him, stunned. ‘We’ve got two baby boys, Y/N.’ Your mouth dropped open as you tried to process. ‘They’re beautiful. We’ll take you to see them once the doctor is done.’

Sam patted Dean’s shoulder, before leaving with Caitlin, and the doctor finished up. ‘I’ll just give you two a moment alone.’

‘Dean, I don’t understand.’ You repeated. ‘What happened?’

He took a breath, standing up to kiss you softly, before retaking his seat. ‘I’ll tell you everything.’

*****

Sitting in a wheelchair was weird. Knowing you’d missed five months of your life? Even weirder. Waking up to being a mom of two?

There wasn’t a limit on weird in this life.

Dean had filled you in on everything, from Natalia’s curse, to Sam and Caitlin, to Charlie going on a date with a cute ER nurse. He didn’t leave anything out. He held your hand the entire time, told you the absolute truth and when he’d finished, you had a million questions. But you asked the most important one first.

‘Can I see my babies?’

He’d been more than happy to oblige, and had located a wheelchair, helping you into it. You had to keep the IV pole with you, and it hurt to move from the C-section scar, but he wheeled you slowly through to the NICU, where your sons were in a crib next to each other. Sam and Caitlin – now you knew who she was, you smiled at her - were already here, keeping watch in the waiting room.

‘They tried to put them in separate cribs but…they didn’t like that.’ Dean said, quietly, as you reached out a hand to the plastic between you and them. ‘But they’re strong and healthy. This is just a precaution because they were early.’

Pressing your nose against the case, you took in every detail. Dressed in tiny blue onesies, they were so small, but so perfect, both of them exactly the same. Identical little boys. You could see their father in them already. The boy closest to you gurgled, turning his head, bright green eyes looking at you, and you felt tears sting in your own eyes. Little fingers curled, tiny little nails…they were more beautiful that you ever could have imagined.

‘Have you named them?’ You asked, and he shook his head.

‘At the moment, they’re Winchester One and Winchester Two.’

You giggled, despite the situation, and you motioned to the nurse, who came over. ‘Am I…can I hold them?’

‘Of course you can, sweetheart. We’ve been giving them your milk, but I suppose now is as best a time as any to show you how to feed them.’ You went blank, looking down.

‘I…I haven’t prepared for any of this.’

The nurse smiled lightly. ‘We’d heard about your accident. Such a shame, but at least you’re here now. Your boys are little fighters, four days old and doing so well.’ She turned, opening the NICU crib, picking up one of the twins and handing him to you.

You’d held babies before. But this was different. The second you held your son, overwhelming love rushed through you, and you felt those tears falling. The nurse handed the second twin to Dean, and pulled him over a chair.

'Would you like some help?’ She asked you, as you gently brushed the baby’s cheek, unable to take your eyes from from. 'I can give you a few minutes if you’d like?’ You nodded, your words unable to filter through, and the nurse smiled, before giving you and Dean some privacy.

'Is this…is this what it’s like?’ You whispered, after long minutes, finally tearing your eyes away to look over at Dean. He was sat, slouched in the chair comfortably, your other son in his huge arms, and a look on his face you’d never seen before. 'To love someone so perfectly…that you’d fight the world to keep them safe?’

He nodded, smiling. 'It’s what woke you up.’

You frowned, cocking your head to the side. 'I don’t understand.’

'Natalia said that the only way to wake you was to stop loving you.’ He looked down at the baby in his arms. 'And for a split second, holding this little guy…I did. Because I loved him more than anything in the world.’ You nodded, understanding. 'I guess it was enough to break the curse.’

'And the counter curse that Cas did?’

Dean shook his head. 'No. She’d placed a protection on her spell. It shouldn’t have hurt you, but I guess she didn’t account for pregnancy when she’d originally come up with it.’ He looked away. 'Human error was what nearly took you from me. But I can’t blame anyone for that. It happens. And you’re here, now, with us.’

You looked back down, marvelling at the softly gurgling child in your arms. 'How do you know he was the one born first?’

Dean grinned. 'I can tell them apart. They look identical, but see, this little guy has a birthmark.’ He turned his arm slightly. 'Just above his collarbone. It’s like a little brown circle.’

'We need to name them. Can’t call them One and Two the rest of their lives.’

He nodded, holding out his finger to the boy in his arms, who gripped it tightly, flexing his tiny little hands. 'I wanna call him Bobby. Robert Winchester.’ You smiled, nodding in agreement.

'What about your dad’s name?’ You asked. Dean shrugged.

'I don’t know if it’s…if it feels right.’ He sighed. 'I loved my dad. But I know he wouldn’t think this was a good idea.’

'He’d be over the moon, Dean, you know he would.’ You said, looking down at the unnamed boy you held. You thought for a moment, chewing the inside of your mouth. 'I think I want to call him…Peter. Peter John Winchester. After both our dads.’

*****

The worst thing about hospitals is the looks people give you. And not being able to stand on your own without someone in a medical uniform telling you that you had to be in a wheelchair, or resting.

And you just weren’t the type.

It was now six days until Christmas, and the twins were a week old. You’d gotten the hang of breastfeeding, although Dean was being a massive pervert about it. When you’d pulled him up on his staring, he’d smirk, and the reminder that it was their intended use didn’t seem to do much. It had made you blush when he’d bent down, kissed you and whispered in your ear; 'Sorry, but seeing the mother of my pups feeding them? Sexiest thing, ever.’

He was a giant softy.

Having had the pregnancy practically stolen from you, you spent as much time as you could in the NICU. They weren’t allowing them to leave until they’d gained enough weight, and you weren’t sure when you’d be allowed home either. But then, you were still trying to figure out what the living arrangements would be.

When Castiel popped into your room one evening, when you were supposed to be “resting” and Dean was with the twins, you jumped out of your skin, pulling at your wound.

'Y/N.’

'Castiel.’ You replied, grimacing in pain. He approached your bed, reaching out with his hand and touching your side.

'You have sustained damage.’

'I pulled a staple I think.’ You watched as he flattened his palm, light glowing underneath it and your eyes shut automatically. And then, the pain was gone. 'Did you just heal me?’

'Yes.’ He said, a sharp nod of his head accompanying the affirmation. 'You are no longer injured. I also healed the internal wounds, and the neurological trauma that the doctors hadn’t discovered.’

You blinked. 'What?’

'It was my fault, after all. The spell we cast was intended to save you, not to endanger you and your children.’ He bowed a little. 'And as their uncle, I am duty bound to do my best for them. Which means helping you at this time.’

'Oh.’ You were still struggling to figure out exactly how to deal with this strange creature. Dean trusted him, so you did too, but he was very _very_ odd. 'I’m gonna have to figure out how to explain that to the doctors.’

'I didn’t think of that.’ He frowned. 'I am unable to replace the wound.’

You chuckled. 'Don’t worry. I’m sure I can…discharge myself or something.’ You watched him carefully. 'Dean said you were here a lot during…everything.’ He nodded. 'Thank you. For keeping watch over them.’ You included the babies in “them” and he nodded again. 'Where have you been the last week?’

'Keeping watch.’ He said simply.

'Over the twins?’ You asked.

'Yes.’ He said. 'I find the miracle of my father’s creation quite intriguing. You and Dean have very astounding children.’

A laugh caught in your throat. 'Castiel, they’re a week old. They make funny noise, poop and eat. That’s about it.’

'It does not make them any less of a miracle.’ He pointed out and you smiled, reaching out to take his hand.

'You’re gonna be a great uncle.’

*****

'Can we go home yet?’ You asked Dean. Caitlin had helped cover up the little secret of your wounds not being wounds, but she’d said it would be best to stay in the hospital for a couple more days to try and not attract attention to yourself. You’d agreed, but only because it meant you be with the twins. They were taking them out of the NICU and placing them in a normal maternity ward, where you could join them, and they had to be there for at least two days. The doctors were happy with their progress; each twin had gained weight and were growing like weeds.

'I don’t know.’ He said, not looking at you from his position stood over the two cribs placed close together. He was like a guard dog, refusing to leave you or the twins, and it was more than adorable. 'They said they’re doing okay, but we haven’t sorted out where we’re actually gonna go, Y/N.’

'The bunker.’ You said. 'Garth can take my house. We’ll sort out getting my stuff…but I wanna be with you, Dean. And the bunker is the safest place on Earth that those boys can grow up.’ You reached out, and he turned, taking your hand before sitting on the bed with you, looping his arm over your shoulders. You were finally back in your own clothes, having ditched the horrible hospital gown as quickly as possible. 'You said something about a nursery?’

'I did.’ Dean kissed the top of your head. 'There’s plenty of rooms. They can sleep in with us until we’ve finished their nursery. Want them close to us for now.’ You nodded. 'And we can get new furniture and everything we need. I didn’t…I didn’t really think about it before now.’

'I know, baby.’ You smiled, pressing your face into his chest. 'We’ll figure it out. I’m awake, the boys are fine…everything is going to be okay.’

Dean smiled tightly, and held you close, before feeling the weight of his phone in his pocket vibrate. 'I’d better go answer that. Might be Sam panicking about lunch.’ You nodded, hearing the lie in his voice but not wanting to push it for now.

He slipped from the room, and you got out of bed, wandering over to the cribs, looking down at your sons. 'Hope you don’t cause too much trouble.’ You smiled, receiving answering coos.

*****

_Dean’s POV_

I didn’t want to lie to her. But I couldn’t tell her what I was doing.

Answering the phone, I took a breath before speaking.

'You there?’ The British voice on the other end said.

'I am.’

'So, have you decided?’

'She can’t live. If she escapes, she’ll come after Y/N and the boys. I can’t…I can’t live knowing she’s out there.’

'So she dies.’ Crowley hummed. 'I’ll take care of it, Dean. But you owe me.’

'I can live with that.’ I grunted. Owing the King Of Hell was nothing compared to knowing there was still a definite danger out there to my family. Natalia had to die. I shouldn’t care. She was a witch. But I wasn’t sure how Y/N would react to it. And the fact that I didn’t do it myself.

Hanging up, I turned back to the door, walking up to it and seeing Y/N on the other side, with Bobby in her arms, talking to him and smiling. Inhaling deeply, I fixed a smile on my face and walked in.

I had to put this behind me.

There were more important things to focus on.


	15. January

**January**

_Reader’s POV_

You stood back, admiring your handiwork on the larger of the two walls. Brushing off your hands, you grimaced at the amount of blue paint you’d managed to cover yourself in, just as Dean entered the room, hands shoved deep in his pockets and a grin on his face.

‘Well, you look….ravishing.’ He grinned, coming up behind you.

'I’m covered in paint.’ You pointed out, as if he were stupid and he chuckled in response, threading his fingers together over your belly. You placed your hand over the top, letting him sway you both softly as you stared at the wall.

'You’ve done a good job though.’ He said, kissing the side of your jaw. 'But seriously, you look good enough to eat.’

'I really would like a shower, Dean.’ You turned, giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling out of his embrace and starting to clear up. 'This needs a few hours to dry, and then we need to air out before we can put the furniture in here.’

Dean pouted, but you didn’t notice, too busy running through your less than organised thoughts about where to put the crib, and the changing table, and…

Wait.

Dean’s hands were on your ass.

'Dean?’

'You said you wanted a shower.’ He growled, pulling you close. 'So I’m joining you. Then I’m gonna make sure you know…’ You gasped as his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your pants, seeking out the wet juncture of your thighs. 'Please baby…don’t deny me.’

You groaned, moving on his fingers. It wasn’t that you didn’t want sex, god, it _wasn’t_. But every time you tried, something interrupted -

Twin cries echoed down the hallway, and you rolled your eyes as Dean’s fingers froze.

There was the interruption.

'I got it!’ Sam yelled, and Dean chuckled, holding you tightly as you went to go for the door. 'Seriously, I got it!’

'I told him to keep an eye. He’s good with them. Besides, Caitlin is on her way over.’ His voice was low in your ear and you relaxed a little, happy to leave the twins with Sam for a moment. He had everything he needed and you and Dean had had hardly any time together since they’d finally discharged the twins last week. 'Now.’ He kissed the back of your neck, his fingers resuming their exploration of your sensitive skin. 'Where was I?’

'Talking about a shower.’ You whispered, your voice husky as he sank his index finger inside you, crooking it slightly to reach your sweet spot. 'Uh, Dean!’ You started to pant, so close to a long denied orgasm, it was unreal. Dean obliged, adding a second finger and twisting a little more to pump them inside you, scissoring them. With a muffled cry, you came hard, repeating his name over and over.

He slowly pulled his fingers from you, licking them clean, whilst grinding his erection into your backside. 'Fuck the shower. That can wait. Can’t knot you in there without one of us breaking a leg. And baby, I gotta knot you.’

'Not in here.’ You said, pushing away from him, before turning to face him. 'In our bed.’ You smiled, and Dean responded with a grin, following you into the bedroom that had once been his. It was yours now, and you’d yet to christen the sheets. 'Knot me, Alpha.’

He growled, pouncing for you, tackling you around the waist, and carrying the both of you to the bed with his momentum. You screeched and then dissolved into laughter, feeling his fingers hook into your jeans and rip them off as you wriggled up the bed. Your panties were quick to follow, and as Dean stripped his own clothes off, you tore your top over your head, flinging it to the corner.

He stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes roaming over your naked body, his erection jutting proudly from the thatch of pubic hair at his groin, weeping pre-cum and you licked your lips.

'Kinda wanna taste you.’ You moaned, reaching for him, but he shook his head.

'I can’t. I’m already on edge. You do that, and it’ll ruin the moment.’ He caught your hands, pinning them above your head as he knelt between your legs, a guttural growl rumbling through his chest as the tip of his cock brushed your pussy. 'Sweet Omega…’ He nuzzled at your cheek, before capturing your lips in a kiss and sinking into you slowly.

'Dean!’ You cried out, arching your back as he released your hands to grab your hips, driving his length into you as hard as he could, desperation ebbing from him in waves.

'I missed you, so much.’ He sounded like he was almost crying, but he didn’t relent in his pace, slamming into you harder and harder, pushing you straight over the edge within seconds. His knot swelled and he sank his teeth into your neck as he came, grunting against your flesh. You were breathing heavily, clutching at him, your nails leaving red trails down his back as he finally finished coming. 'Fuck. That was….’ He pulled his head back. 'A little disappointing.’

You frowned. 'Why?’

'I guess I thought our first time would be more….romantic?’ He chuckled. 'Or not.’ He bent his head once more, kissing you thoroughly until you were begging for oxygen. His cock was still buried inside you, and you twitched, eliciting a groan from him. 'Don’t do that.’

'Or what?’

'I’m a bit sensitive at the moment.’ He emphasised by rolling his hips, pressing his pelvis into your clit, and you whimpered. 'Seems like you are too.’

'I could use a nap.’ You yawned, and he wrapped his arms around you, rolling until you were comfortably draped over him until the knot subsided, your leg hooked over his hip and your face buried in his shoulder. 'We’re gonna have to make the most of these quickies with two kids around.’

'I’m aware.’ He laughed, kissing the top of your head. 'How soon can we start on the next one?’

*****

_Dean’s POV_

'So, that favour you owe me.’

Crowley’s voice made me jump out of my fucking skin, and I whirled on him, scowling. I’d only gone outside to grab some stuff from Baby’s trunk before I tucked her into the garage for the night, and here was the King Of Hell, showing up and making demands.

'What of it?’ I asked, eyeing him warily.

'I’ve decided to cash in.’

I froze, letting the trunk of the Impala fall shut, forgetting the bag I’d left in there with the rest of the new clothes for Y/N and the boys. 'And?’

'You stop hunting.’ He said. 'For good.’

I narrowed my eyes. 'What?’

'You and the great Moose.’ Crowley walked around me, keeping a wide circle, almost as if he was afraid I’d attack. 'You quit hunting, settle down with your girls and stay out of anything going on.’

'We can’t do that.’ I replied, shaking my head. 'You’re gonna have to think of something else.’

'That’s the deal, Dean. You owe me, remember? Or do you want me to fish Natalia’s soul out of hell and let her loose on your precious little family?’ Red hot anger flashed through me, and I lunged for the demon, only for him to disappear and reappear the other side of the driveway. 'That’s not going to cut it, Dean. You can’t lay a finger on me. Now, you gonna sign the deal or not?’

'No deal.’ I growled, only to hear the bunker door slam shut behind me. Both of us looked over, seeing Y/N stood, her arms folded, and a look of death on her face.

'What the hell is going on here?’ She demanded. 'I come up here to see what’s taking so long, and find you two at each other’s throat?’ Her eyes focused on me. 'What fucking deal, Dean?’ My mouth opened and closed, and of course, Crowley decided to try and land me in it.

'I disposed of his witch problem. He agreed he owed me a favour. And now he’s not holding up his end of the bargain.’

She kept her eyes on me. 'So he killed Natalia?’ I nodded, unsure of her reaction. She glanced to Crowley. 'What was your offer?’

'Him and his brother quit hunting.’

Her eyes widened and she looked over at me. 'And he refused.’

'Naturally.’

I swallowed, unsure of what was going to happen next. Y/N and I hadn’t discussed the future – not with regards to hunting. But I knew I wouldn’t give it up. It was too much a part of me and Sam. Of course, we’d be more careful, probably wouldn’t start any apocalypses for a few years. But I didn’t know if she _wanted_ me to give it up.

'No deal, Crowley.’ She said, looking back to him. 'I won’t be giving it up either. It’s in our blood. Maybe I’m not the stab them and kill them type, but I’ll always want to help those out there.’ She gestured to the woods around us, and I assumed she meant the rest of the world. 'You’re asking too much.’

'I did explain the alternative to Dean.’

'What? That you were going to go find Natalia and set her loose again?’ Y/N scoffed. 'You don’t think she’d be gunning for you, just as much? You killed her. You’re public enemy number one. And we all know demons aren’t impervious to an angry witch.’

'That’s not the point.’

Y/N grinned. 'Here’s my point. I believe your demons tried to kill me, several times. Well, I’m calling in a favour for that.’

Crowley scowled. 'Now, hold on a minute -’

'How about, you take your suit-covered limey ass outta here, and I don’t kill you for putting me in danger?’ I blinked – I’d never quite seen this side of Y/N. She was all mama-bear right now, and Crowley could see it in her as much as I could. She reached behind her, pulling out the demon killing knife.

'It’d take more than that pig-sticker, darling.’ Crowley mocked, but I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. 'I’m not afraid of you.’

'You should be. I’m giving you an opportunity, Crowley.’ Y/N smiled, taking a step towards him. 'Maybe this pig-sticker won’t hurt you, but you forget, I _read_. I can bring a thousand tortures, a thousand new problems to your doorstep. So call your fucking owings off, and get the hell away from my family.’

Shit, I loved her.

The King Of Hell watched her for a moment, considering his options, before sighing heavily. 'You lot. More trouble than you’re worth.’ And he was gone.

My mouth dropped open and Y/N sagged, putting the knife back in the sheath at her waist. A shiver coursed through her, and I moved to her side, wrapping her in my arms.

'Have I told you recently that I love you?’ I whispered, kissing her hard. She smiled.

'Not that I recall.’

'Well, I do.’ I held her close, inhaling her scent. 'I’m so fucking lucky to have you, my beautiful Omega.’

She blushed, standing on tip toes to kiss me back. 'And I’m cold. So let’s get inside.’

'Wait.’ I held her close, smiling, feeling like I need to do it now. 'I wanted…look, I don’t have a ring, or anything, but I swear I’ll get you the nicest one a fake credit card can buy.’ She stared at me, wide eyed. 'I just…I needed to ask…will you marry me?’

The air seemed to still as I worried at my bottom lip with my teeth, terrified she’d say no, even though it was kinda stupid. We were already mated, with pups, how could she say no?

'You actually think I’d say no?’ She giggled, before throwing her arms around my neck. 'I can see you worrying about it, you great big loser. Of course I’ll marry you, Dean Winchester.’

*****

_Reader’s POV_

'And then she threatens him, the King Of friggin’ Hell, and he just runs.’ You smiled as you listened to Dean retell Sam what had happened the night before, whilst Bobby nursed at your breast. John was asleep in his father’s arms, despite his animated story telling. 'I tell you what, these boys are gonna have to watch themselves with a scary momma around.’

'I’m not that scary, Dean.’ You pointed out, realising that Bobby had finished. You tucked your breast away in the hideous maternity bra (why they all had to look like parachutes, you didn’t know) and held Bobby up over your shoulder, patting his back gently to burp him. After a few seconds, he belched, and Dean chuckled.

'He’s definitely mine.’ He said, as you cleaned up the baby’s mouth, before settling him in your arms for a nap.

'So, I need to talk to you guys about something.’ Sam said, slowly, tapping his fingers on his knee nervously. 'About Caitlin.’ You and Dean waited, expectantly. 'She’s gonna move in here. I want her safe, with me, and it’d be easier, and she’s still close to the hospital and -’ He noticed that none of his arguments were being countered, and neither of us were doing anything but smiling at him. 'What?’

'We thought she already had.’ You sniggered, standing up with Bobby and walking over to his moses basket. Placing him inside, you cast a sideways look at your mate’s brother. 'I mean, she’s always here. When she isn’t working, she’s here. We just assumed.’

'Oh.’ Sam’s face was bright red. 'I just thought…I’d better…nevermind.’

Dean chuckled. 'Anyway. I’ve got something I need to run past you, baby brother.’ Sam rolled his eyes at the affectionate term. He glanced over at you and you smiled. 'I need a best man.’ His eyebrows shot up so fast, I was worried they’d get lost in his copious amounts of hair. 'I asked her, last night after the whole Crowley thing.’

'And she said yes?’ Sam asked, and you nodded, rolling your eyes. 'Are you sure they should have discharged you from neurology?’

'Very funny.’ Dean kicked him under the table, causing the younger Winchester to yelp. 'Anyway, need a best man. You up for the job?’

'Of course I am.’ Sam laughed loudly. 'Congratulations, man. I’m proud of you. You’re punching above your weight, though, you know that right?’

'Please, have you seen that hot little number you’ve hooked?’

'You two are both….’ You sighed. 'Incorrigible. Now, give me my other child, and you two can get lost for the night. Go celebrate. Be manly.’ You paused. 'Be home by midnight.’ Both brothers nodded, grinning widely, before standing, Dean handing over a sleeping baby boy as he went to follow his brother. As they headed out the door, you watched, happy and content.

'And don’t wake the babies. I’ll kill you both if you do.’


	16. Six Years Later

**Six Years Later**

_Reader’s POV_

Waking up next to Dean never got old. His warmth seemed to spread through the bed, along with his gentle snoring, but you didn’t mind.

And of course, his hand was still on your ass.

Despite that you were now sleeping sideways because the bump was too much to lay on.

Five months gone with another pup, just the one this time, and you were over the moon. Dean was too, sharing every step with you this time, seeing as you’d missed out on so much with Bobby and John. The littlest Winchesters were growing like weeds. Not that you could call them the littlest Winchesters anymore.

Sam and Caitlin had welcomed baby Mary into the world a little under a year before, and they were already well on the way with the second one. And with everyone under the same roof at the bunker, things could get a little…hectic.

But right now, it was Sunday morning. No one else was awake, and Dean’s hand was in it’s usual resting spot on your ass. You and he were both where you belonged.

‘Mornin’ sweetheart.’ Dean muttered, from where his face was buried in the pillow.

'Hey.’ You whispered, rolling over, dislodging his hand. 'I thought you were still asleep.’

'I was.’ He groaned, yawning widely before turning to face you. His hair was a mess and his face had sleeplines where he’d been hugging the pillow. 'But you shifted a little and bam! Senses woke me up.’

'Goddamn those hunters instincts.’ You giggled, finding yourself with armfuls of Dean. His mouth went to your neck as his hands cupped your breasts, pulling you closer.

'Hmm, you smell wonderful.’

'I need a shower.’

'Have one with me.’

'We won’t both fit.’ You pointed out, motioning towards the bump. 'Dean Junior is taking up too much room.’

His eyes lit up. 'When’s the next scan?’

'Next week.’

'Can we find out the sex?’ He asked and you nodded, before his gaze darkened, and his touch became a little more adventurous. 'Can we have sex?’

'Hmmm.’ You reached out for him, intending on granting his request, when the bedroom door burst open.

'Mom! Dad! John took my magazine!’ The blond boy at the door interrupted you, and you groaned, feeling Dean’s head hit the pillow again as he muttered something.

Another, identical, blond boy sprinted past the room. 'No I didn’t!’ Bobby scowled at his retreating brother before sprinting after him. A second later, a crash was heard from the library, and then a baby started crying.

You sat up, a little off balance first thing in the morning as Dean came up behind you on his knees, nuzzling at your neck. 'We should go and separate them. Were you and Sam this bad?’

'Worse.’ He said, kissing you. You smiled.

'I’ll go. You get some more sleep.’

'I’m hungry.’ He whined.

'Pancakes?’

'You’re the best.’

'Go on then.’ Dean’s face dropped, and he dragged himself from the bed sulking as he walked past you. 'You’re the best, sweetie.’ You threw his words back at him, as he blew you a sarcastic kiss from the door, before heading into the kitchen to make pancakes.

With a sigh, you hauled yourself off the mattress, before looking around the room at the family photos. You could hear Caitlin shushing the disturbed Mary, whilst Sam greeted Dean in the kitchen, obviously up to make up a bottle. The boys continued to fight in the library.

You smiled.

Life was crazy.

But life was good.


	17. Bonus Chapter: Birthday Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set before the epilogue

Dean threw his duffel over his shoulder as he trudged into the bunker, sore from a night driving to get back from the hunt. He’d promised you he’d be home for his birthday, and he was late. It just added to the feeling of disappointment he’d felt in himself lately. He’d missed Bobby’s first karate competition, and he’d missed John’s first soccer game.

It was amazing to him how different those boys were from each other, despite being twins. It was easy to tell them apart – they looked exactly the same, but he always knew which was which.

Sam slammed the bunker door behind him, and Dean gave him a look, hearing nothing from the rest of the covert building. His brother shrugged, moving past him to head down the stairs, no doubt eager to see his Caitlin after a few days away. Dean followed, his head hung low as he shifted his bag onto the other shoulder.

As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he saw Sam had already gone into the library, and Dean turned with a sigh, wondering where everyone was. Maybe you were _really_ pissed at him, but he didn’t want to spend his birthday alone.

‘Dean!’ Sam’s shocked yell prompting him to burst into a run, his bag dumped in the foyer, as he aimed for the library. Skidding to a halt inside, his eyes went wide as he saw what was waiting for him.

'Happy birthday!’ The yell from everyone made him jump, and he frowned in confusion at the colourful hand-painted banners, balloons, and the pie in the middle of the table with three candles in it. You stood, with Bobby in your arms, and John at your side, all three of you wearing party hats, Caitlin next to you and Charlie next to her. Castiel stood rather awkwardly at the other end of the table. Dean blinked, unsure of what to do.

'This is…this…wow.’ He stuttered, as Sam laughed.

'Happy birthday Dean.’ He said, clapping a hand on Dean’s shoulder. 'Y/N text me this morning. Told me to stall you. That’s why I er, fumbled a little.’

Dean narrowed his eyes. 'Sneaky jerk.’

'Happy birthday, Daddy!’ John ran up to his father, hugging his legs and Dean chuckled, bending down to his level, just as you let Bobby down from your hold, and he ran to join his brother. With both of his boys in front of him, Dean smiled, pulling them both close. 'We missed you.’ John said, quietly.

Bobby nodded against his shoulder. 'We’re not mad at you for missing our sports. Mom videoed them. We’re just glad you’re home and that the wendy monster didn’t eat you.’

You laughed as you came up behind the boys, eyes twinkling as you looked down at your Alpha, his green eyes filling with emotion as he hefted both of his boys into his arms, making them both yell out in joy. 'I missed you too.’ You whispered, leaning up on tip toes to place a soft kiss to his lips. 'We wanted to surprise you for your birthday.’

'There’s pie!’ Caitlin gestured to the pie in the middle of the table, surrounded by all the foods Dean loved. You’d even found those mini-Phili cheese steaks he’d gone on about forever. 'And lots of beer.’

'Sounds like my kind of party.’ Dean laughed, dropping Bobby and John to the floor as they ran off to the table. 'Let’s eat and be merry.’ He pulled you close, kissing you again, a little deeper this time as Bobby made a noise of disgust.

'Yuck. Mom! Dad!’

John stuck his tongue out before he shoved a cocktail weiner into his mouth. 'We don’t want a sister!’

You blushed as Dean laughed, his hands holding onto your hips. 'Do I get any presents?’

'The boys made you something. And I think Caitlin and Sam got you a little something.’ You smiled coyly, lowering your voice. 'I’ll give you yours later.’

'Oh, will you now?’ He grinned like a wolf, before pulling you into his side, casting his eyes over the lay out of food. 'Let’s eat.’

*****

Dean stretched out on the bed, groaning as several joints clicked. He was fully sated with food and beer, and you’d gone to make sure the boys were in bed. He’d stripped down to his boxers, and was intending on getting comfortable, before the door opened and you stood there, one arm stretched up to the top of the door, and wearing a sly grin.

It was about all you were wearing, aside from a skimpy little black thong, stockings and a bra that was completely pointless. You’d pulled your hair up, just how he liked it, and instantly, Dean felt all the blood abandon his brain in favour of his dick.

'Fuck.’ He muttered, pushing himself up onto his elbows. 'Did you just walk down the hallway like that?’

'It’s okay. No one saw.’ You giggled, shutting the door as you moved into the room, your stockinged feet making no noise on the floor. 'Why, would you have been jealous if they did?’ Your scent assaulted his nose and he inhaled deeply.

'Damn fucking right I would have been.’ He sat up a little more. 'Fuck, baby, you’re nearly in heat.’

You nodded, crawling onto the bed at his feet. 'I didn’t want to say anything earlier. You didn’t seem to notice, what with the party and all.’ He shook his head and you smiled, placing your hands on his thighs as his cock jumped beneath his boxers. 'But I’m really close. And I’ve been thinking about you so much the last couple of days.’

'I bet.’ He groaned as you stroked one finger over his hardness. 'I was thinking about you too. Motel shower got a lot of action.’ You nodded, pulling his boxers down, and he lifted his legs, bending his knees to accommodate you. They were flung across the room as you turned your attention to his cock. Dean’s throaty growl as you slipped your lips over him, made you whimper against his skin, your hand moving between your legs of it’s own accord, and you felt your own slick on your thighs. 'You smell fucking delicious.’ Dean muttered, his hand coming up to hold onto your pony tail. He didn’t move your head; he always allowed you to take your own pace when you did this, but tonight, you wanted to make him scream for a change.

Inhaling through your nose, you took him down as far as you could, deep throating him, feeling the tip of his dick press against the very back of your throat, and a noise exploded from him as you swallowed around him. His hand tightened around your hair, and you pulled back, before repeating the action.

'Holy – fuck – baby, I’m gonna come if you do that.’

You pulled away briefly, looking up at him with wild eyes and a smirk. 'Then come.’ You whispered, and Dean groaned as you returned your mouth to his cock, lapping at him before sinking him between your lips again. His hand on your hair pulled, and you found yourself unable to reach him.

'I’d love to.’ He muttered, arousal making his voice a deep rumble that electrified your core. 'But I wanna sink into you and knot you, my sweet little Omega.’ You shivered, letting him pull you into his arms, his fingers making short work of the bra and panties. They joined his boxer shorts on the floor, and his fingers ghosted over the stockings. 'You can leave these on.’ He nipped at your breasts, pulling the nipple into his mouth as he rutted his cock against your centre, striking your clit and making you moan wantonly against him. 'I’m gonna fuck you from behind.’ He growled, his hands massaging your ass. 'Wanna knot you, fill you with pups.’

'It’s your birthday, baby. You can do what you want.’ You gasped, as his teeth close around one nipple and tugged, just enough to make you jerk your hips towards him. 'Please, Alpha. Need you.’

'I know.’ He reached down, running a finger along your slit, finding you already dripping for him. He sucked the digit into his mouth and smiled, crashing his lips into yours. 'Turn around for me.’ His breath was hot against your lips as you nodded, moving onto all fours as he knelt behind you, slapping his cock against your ass. 'You’re so fucking beautiful.’ He whispered, rubbing his tip against your pussy. His hand came down on your ass, slapping your rear with a soft thwack and you cried out, moving back against him. Dean grinned, pushing into you a little way before pulling out again.

'Dean!’ You cried out, desperate for him to be deep inside you, and he groaned at the neediness in your voice, both hands grabbing your ass as he pulled you back onto his cock, watching as he was fully sheathed inside your body. 'Alpha, yes!’

'Omega.’ He growled, leaning over your back and seizing your breasts, his cock moving in slow strokes inside you. 'Fuck, Y/N. Love you so much.’ You nodded, unable to answer as he tweaked your nipples, the drive of his length inside you pushing you over the edge without much encouragement needed. You’d been thinking about this for days and as usual, Dean didn’t disappoint.

Your orgasm was swift and heady, leaving you panting underneath him as he released your breasts, pulling you upwards against him, driving deep into you with long, hard strokes. One hand was wrapped in your ponytail, the other alternating between teasing your nipples and your clit, and you felt the swell of his knot starting as he fucked you harder.

'Dean, please.’ You begged, wanting to move, but finding yourself completely immobilised. Your cum was already staining your thighs, and his, but you knew you were close again. 'Alpha, need your knot, baby.’

Dean grunted, biting at your neck, his thrusts becoming more erratic as his knot hindered him, and with a throaty roar, he held you tightly, pushing you over the edge with him. Your name was a prayer on his lips as he came inside your cunt, pumping long jets of spunk inside you and you gasped, the feeling of fullness overwhelming.

Both of you collapsed onto the bed, with Dean trying to keep his weight off of you, rolling a little to the side. Your twin pants echoed around the room, and he curled his body around yours, pulling you into a spooning embrace, his knot still inside your shivering body.

'I love you, so much, sweet Omega. My beautiful Y/N.’ He whispered in your ear, his nose brushing against your hair. 'Best birthday ever.’ You giggled, your hand finding his and threading your fingers together.

'I love you too, Dean. My Alpha.’ Your replied was disrupted by a yawn, and Dean laughed softly, kissing your neck.

'Get some sleep.’

*****

_A month later_

'Dean?’ You peered around the bedroom door, finding him sorting through his sock drawer. He was always losing the damn things, and it made you laugh when you caught him wearing odd pairs. He’d been putting off sorting it out for ages.

'What’s up, baby?’ He asked, smiling over at you. 'Man, I really hate socks.’

You smiled, walking a little closer. 'Erm, well, you know it was your birthday a month ago?’

He frowned. 'Yeah?’

'I’ve got a late birthday present for you.’ You reached into your pocket, pulling out the white stick with two blue lines on it. 'Happy birthday?’ It was half question, half statement, and Dean stared at the stick for a split second, before a smile broke his face in half.

'We’re pregnant?’ He asked and you nodded. Dean whooped in joy, picking you up and spinning you around. 'Yes!’ You giggled, as he dropped you back to the ground, seizing your face in a hard kiss. 'You’re fucking amazing, you know that.’ His hands cradled your still-flat tummy, and the smile on his face only grew.

'I’m glad you’re happy.’ You whispered.

Dean laughed. 'Baby, I couldn’t be happier.’


End file.
